Writing of the Unknown

Writing of the Unknown 1d

A random urge
A hope for pain

Thats the truth in all its glory
Loving one but looking at another

I hide your words deep down
Monitor just like you feared

A silent gaze
Right at you 6, and just out of reach

But your words
Full of emotions raw and untamed

Where they once were daggers
Now are no more then a breeze in the wind

I still care
I always will

But I hoped the pain would be more
Not this numbing normal mundane

Everything boiled
Every avenue tried

I couldn't let go
You wouldn't see me besides flesh you could hold

And sadly
If fates are cruel to you

Well meet again
In passing and random

But I feel nothing no more
For you became the thing me and your daughter feared

You are the monster under our bed
And I hope you can get help with it

For my sweet devil, if your so clever
The honest truth
For i never hide it from you

Writing of the Unknown 1d

The ties that break

Sit down
Breathe steady
The ink open
The quill at the ready
1 2 3 4 5
A single dip
A simple stroke
The words ever flowing
Pleading
Begging
Remembering

Of a time before
Long ago
Where mortal flesh
Was a myth among legends
But the same foundation as any other

Where souls were one
And now two
But the distance suffocating
So a silent plee in gold
Among pages that will not be read for decades
For some relief
In the tornado of misery and pain
Cries to what once was

Hoping that the confusion of having holes in the head
Will help let the pain find a place to rest
Among the scars that dance around
Among the demons that never rest
Perhaps
Just one hole
Might finally make this flesh breathe

Writing of the Unknown 3d

You

Your name hints on my lips
You smell just one note off of here
Your eyes what I look for in everything

But I read it somewhere
How the hardest falls aren't with drama and cries of emotions
Its the silent defiance
And comfort in not understanding

Perhaps thats why we worked so well together
Because where everyone gets to love
The me that has it together
Has a life plan and concept of reality
You loved a little girl
Who was scarred and terrified
But willing to face it anyways

And somehow
In a mess of pain and scars
Messy hair and late nights
Tear stains and venom
The body jumps and flip of switch to hide

You loved me
And I loved you
Because we saw the worst of each other
And it was marvelously beautiful to see

Writing of the Unknown 5d

Time and time again

Round and round
Dancing a game of time
Swish here
Spin there
This one we step in time
That one behind
Round and round
Dancing, changing
A breath apart
But so ever close

Until the ending note
A pin could drop
And just like
You pull me into you
And we dance another life

Writing of the Unknown Jul 21

Is this the truth?

I did what I suppose to
Try and try and try to move on
But you keep coming back
And the pain of you
Has now turned me numb

Even when willing causing pain to myself
By reading the pain of another
It doesnt hurt as it did
And I didn't feel...

The flame was suppose to be helpful
But it pointed me back to she same direction
The same road I keep comming too
The one I can't go down by myself

But one said im the problem
Another said to find a god
But I have a feeling
More of a fear
That the one I feel home in
The one that spoke years ago
The guide I follow

The one who was in the same boat I am
Is that really our story

Or was it told much longer then I thought
When reeds floated down
When the sun blazed
Where names have been mixed
And the same pain lived

Is this my story
Or is this hers?

Writing of the Unknown Jul 20

Spirit Candle

The concept was simple
Light the candle to see
Light the candle to send back
Light the candle for hope

A deep i took
When the soul and body matched
And a unspoken prayer
To keep safe, and happy

The fire burned
Day after day
The energy visible
The flame dancing in its glass window
A silent hope
Of something to be free

As the wic shortened
The energy I had did too
Using one as a vessel
And consuming everything around
Just like fire normally does

But the last night of 3 of 3
A final hope
21 hours
Before being snuffed for the last time
The flame flickered
Dimmed, and struggled
But where one could not burn
Another stepped up to help
Fueling the other to live
To just hold on
One more dip of wax, one more breath of oxygen
And from 1 to 2 to 1 once more
Brighter then ever before

The flame grew to be steady and strong and bright
A prayer
A hope
Everything free
And through the night
Shaky hands held a glass tube
The heat warm to the touch
Praying for the light to grow

But as luck, or faith perhaps, would have it
The glass melted away
The heat changing from fire to something familiar
And where hands held glass
They held a different pair that were all too familiar

From the scar on the left side
To the healed bone on the right
Strong, warm, comforting hands

"What have I missed?"
"Alot"
"Why me?"
"Because I never could stop loving you"

When trying to find peace
Only makes the memories that are not yours burn hotter and brighter
And cause the pain to be real
When reality shows how cold it is

Writing of the Unknown Jul 18

You Took My voice...

I tell you about my feelings
Give you a glimpse of what I hold inside
Start trying to trust you

But you are a messenger once more
Give up my trust
because you have been trained in turning everything over
Telling her everything about everyone
Just because she doesn't want to talk to me...

So yeah
I'm gonna be quite
I'm not gonna wanna be here
And the little bit of trust I am trying to give you
keeps burning up to ashes
and leaves me with nothing but another knife in my back

When the daughter tries to break generational trauma from Grandmother and Mother