Standing on the precipice of a dream,
Gleaming,
The Sun in my eyes.

Shall I take this fateful step once again?
For when last I stood before a dream...

I took that step,
And valiantly, I plunged into a darkness from
  which I have still not been freed.

Perhaps,
T'was not a step I should have made,
But rather a Leap.

From this precipice,
Standing atop the cliffside, staring into.
   future's abyss,
Petrified,
petrified...

I must leap,
   yet to this day,

I would much rather,
  

Fall into sleep.

I am Patience and I am Pain,

I am tribulation and trials,

I am horror and I am happiness,

I am not myself, nor I wish to be so.

I am as existence is,

And so I wish to be peace,

I wish,

And I am.

Fawning over the fissile festivities,
with which I fake my facile form.
Fatal futility floods my far-flung faith in myself.

Feeding the fires of my forgery,
Frantic forethought,
Fictionalizing the facts before my faithless eyes.

Forclosing upon the fractional freedoms that I've so long fought for.
Fearing the unforgiving firestorm that follows,
Once I've finally exhausted faith in my future.

Fielding my final fight,
Standing fast in the face of futility.
Fit to fly into the fray.

It's a sad state of affairs,
When I pray for a freak accident,
So I don't have do deal with,
What I'm scared of:

Me

Every minute is a century,
When I can't fall asleep.

Evasive peace.
Please...

It's getting hard to breathe...


Stop.
Breathe.
Hold.
It's going to be okay.


Sleep

Tryin to be independent of the venom inside my head,
This isn't dead though,
My eyes are red so,
I'm reaching the pinnacle,
Reading into the syllables,
Inside my head,
That want me dead,
But I'm not ready yet,
So I'll just say no to the infected perception of the world around me,
So,

Just relax,
Here I am.
Just look in the mirror,
Smile,
And jump in.

The water is cold and unforgiving,
The product of being so lost and feeling so
Dark, alone, but I'm never quitting, so,

Hold on and don't let go,
It's gonna be hard,
But don't let your feeling show,
How scared you are,
To feel the scars,
and free the arts,
of the real,
person you are.

Just show them,
You'll never give up,
Just feel the love,
and let it grow,
So,

Be who you are,
and don't forget,
when things are hard,
Just stare at the stars.

~Robert van Lingen

I am weary, now,
Of this thing called hope.