Silent on the dusty carpet, holding my head in my hands that shake.
Twisted limbs on the floor; uncomfortable of course, but feeling like I don't deserve the luxury of comfort.
I listen to the sounds of my music merging with all my violent thoughts...
All singing along to the evil that pulses through my veins that have stained my past for to long.
The mistakes I made when innocent and young; forgotten they should be, but vivid they are.
The future a buried thought, as I try to process the words that I fling from my mind.
Alone and finally afraid...
'Why did it take me so long to feel the fear of my thoughts...?'
Its cold outside, and its cold in my heart.
Yet the world is burning, a glimpses at my fate...
I breath in deeply, trying to understand why I cry with never any tears.
'Am I broken inside...?'
Well I guess we all are a little within this world...
Final after spilling my heart into words that you are now reading, I slowly shift my back straight.
And untangle my limbs to stretch.
I still feel numb...
'I suppose it just make me appreciate the joys in life more...?'
I'm not okay I say to your eyes that read this now.
But say that I hope I will be soon.
I dust my pants and stand again.
Put my smile on, and continue on with my day...

*'I will one day be okay...'

The violent whispering steps of the girl that walks the moon, and swims among the stars.
Shall forever be the lullaby that sings me to my curtain closing sleep.
Before I hear my own steps echo through the abyss of the unknown universe...

Please forgive me when I say,
I really wish that I could stay.
I'm sorry it has to be this way,
But I just can't see another day.

Red and white
Head feeling lite
Sweetness of tear
Showing all fear
Scream so silent
Making it violent
Metal to skin
Will never win
Pill to lips
Scars on hips
Hands hold rope
Strangling last hope
Sleep long forgotten
Thoughts so rotten
Food like poison
Trap like prison
Life crumble away
Sanity won't stay
Ghostly last breath
Now welcomes death

I try to drown you out. But there never seems to be enough alcohol to keep you away...

*...forever

The frost bitten air, forsing its way down my throat.
Seeping under the covers I hide in.
The sands of time, now drawing the numbers 1:40.
So late is now, yet so far from sleep I am.
My pillow calls in the silence coming from my walls, for me to visit.
And with the unwilling closure of my eye lids, I give in.
I rest my body, on the clouds were I dream.
For I venture into the dark, exploring for some light.

Stand for something
Rise for love
Speak for silence
Live for people
Forgive for yourself
Dream for happiness
Laugh for desire
Believe for us

The light, shine brighter at dawn and dusk.
The rain, is sweeter when it falls from heaven.
My spirit, it fly's once more again.
The birds, sing effortlessly backing your voice.
The world, spins to a happier future.
The thunder, it roars to the beat of you heart.
And your soul...
Your soul, has captured mine, to fast for me to see.
Without you the world is black.
The rain is like acid.
My spirit, it dies.
Birds do not sing.
The world spins to war.
And thunder never roars.

Dressed in black
I take my stand
Grasp my pen
In my blood soaked hand...

With darkness my army
And silence our song
I confront the lies
That have gone on to long...

Mighty I stand
With my strength behind me
Marching along
With the wish to be free...

I lead my pen
To battle with the page
For the truth it sets free
From the hell rotting cage...

Wondrous trees fly through the doors of my dreams.
The sun is that of shining black, and the moon that of dim blue.
Birds that dive to the depths of my eyes; fishing for cast away smiles.
Boulders that walk from ear to ear; releasing a sent of sweet, pouched apricots.
Grass that grows as ****** hair for the man that is the moon.
And flowers that bloom as coral in the oceans, coloured a violet hue.
Jumping clouds, and blissful sounds.
A lonely stool; untouchable to the madness.
Gray and bland; cold and stern.
The last state of sanity found within a single stool.
This is the torrent of my mind; the chaos of my thoughts.
And this lonely stool is the last hope of finding a place to blend with society.
But it colour of gray and it's form of sternness.
Is slowly fading to the abyss I have lost.
No worries I shall fear of, once all sanity has disappeared.
For a life with individuality is the reason why we life in a world that's full of rules...

Shall every cry
Be for the sky
Shall every scream
Be for a happy dream

In silence I weep
You bring hope and love to me
I now rest with you

Each star
A soul
Sound asleep
On earth
With eyes
Closed tight
And minds
Wide open
Dreams awaken
To dance
Some sing
Some explore
Dare live
Laugh hysterically
Scream violently
Passionate sobs
Last dreams
For some
First images
For others
My star
Now dim
But soon
Shall shine
For dreams
To dare
I will
Adventure towards

Will you join me upon the rain clouds?
To feel the water vapors cleanse our skin.
Watch the world beyond the scope of rainbows, and accept that we all live in a world of sin.

Will you join me upon the rain clouds?
With your hand firmly within mine.
See the moon dance with the sun; trying to understand each other's life line.

Will you join me upon the rain clouds?
Become lingering memories in the minds of broken hearts.
Shedding a silent tear for your soul, falling to the ocean, creating rippling art.

Will you join me upon the rain clouds?
Reaching for the stars that sing with aspiration.
Listening to their songs till the universe dissolves.
Feeling that small forgotten spark that's known as inspiration.

Will you join me upon the rain clouds?
Forever to be at rest with the hate.
To watch the rain fall to those that can understand.
As we glide to our long fought for fate.

**Will you join me upon the rain clouds?...

Depression blue
When I think of you
Depression blue
Is what I think of you

Scarlett red
Shall take me to bed
Scarlett red
Shall make me dead

Dying gray
You did like to play
Dying gray
Making me pray

Hopeless green
Setting the seen
Hopeless green
Backing to my scream

Sickling yellow
You once made me mellow
Sickling yellow
Now your some strange fellow

But depression blue
That...
Is how I'll remember you

I step
And step
Right into
The trap...

If the clouds were to dance among the skies of blue, and the wind were to sing with leaves so few.
Were we ameant to witness their beauty from the world beyond, or to experience it's life hand; dancing around and singing their song?

'and I say your beautiful, with imperfections, flaws and all'*

Was 2:32 when sun was still asleep
And the stars played with the light of the moon
It was silent withing these walls
Only the breeze outside could be heard
The only light that reached my eyes
Was that of my old phone screen
Its setting to the dimmest it could go
Your words appeared and the world the left
You and me was all that remained
It just a message with truth told from your heart and soul
But it was more then that
I read just words
But felt such embrace
Because i couldn't remebthat last time I had heard such love
That I read from you before the sun had shown..

And it was those words I heard again
Before we both said *I do

Bleeding heart held in your hand
Something I will not understand
How can you watch blood drip?
How can you be the one to rip?
I remember giving you my heart
Say 'here so we can never be apart'
You smiled at me
Say we will always be we
Than you placed it in a chest
Somewhere it could rest
You took yours out as well
And chatted some kind of spell
About how we will always love
Even if one is above
Than you handed me a blood soaked rag
And I placed it in my bag
I whispered that it will be safe and sound
Even when you 6 feet in ground
Nod your head
And you fell dead
Had I known you would die right there
I would change fate for something more fair
It took me years upon years to see why you died
And know that I know, all I did was cry
To you for the reasons why
To the devil for your soul he did buy
To me for making see that for you to die
Was the only way for me to live

Because you made a deal with the devil
You made a deal with evil
You gave your years to me
So tomorrow I could see...

Small...
       ...Move
Loud...
      ...Bang
Drug...
       ...Filled
Eyes...
       ...Wide
Deaths...*
      ...Here

Please...
        Swap,
              Tears and fear.
        For,
              Laughs and hope.
Please?...

Moons rays
Ripple on your
Face.

Amplifying
Your sweat
Grace.

The mist,
From the midnight
Rain.

Showing me
You have everything
To gain.

But the
Twinkle behind
Your eyes.

Screaming for
Me to catch
Your lies.

Smell of rain so sweet
Musician drops fall on leaves
At peace with the sky

A smile a day,
Keeps the demons at bay.
But if it is fake,
They will show you your wake.

That stranger that I see,
That stranger, she is me.

With eyes so light,
And soul so bright.

That stranger that I see,
That stranger, she is free.

With wings unbroken,
Taking life's tokens.

That stranger that I see,
That stranger, she is full of glee.

With smile so wide,
Never wanting to hide.

That stranger that I see,
That stranger, she was... Me.

I dream to fly above the sea,
Not with demons under it.

I wish apon a golden star,
That my new life won't be far.

To hope for a life of light,
Not one where all I do is fight.

To sing with angels all night long,
And not cry over how life's so wrong.

To love you next to me,
Because your all I want to be.

But here I lay,
Like helpless pray.

Flying under the sea,
Instead of above, where I should be.

What would they do, if they knew what went through my head?
What would they do, if they knew I'd rather be dead?

Would they say for me to leave?
Would they beg me to stay please?

What would they say?
What would they do?

Would they help me come back?
Would they leave me in black?

Would they ever love me again?
Would they leave me with just pain?

Would they help me if, they knew what went through my head?
Would they leave if, they knew I'd rather be dead?

And when I say I shall go to sleep,
I no longer say goodnight.
Because I have leart there is no good,
In dark where I fight.

When skies fall,
And mountains fly.
I will change this pitiful life,
And throw away my ****** knife.