I watch as them guys leave me alone. Again.
Why do they do this to me? Will they ever understand?

I watch as they leave me alone in the rain. Again.
Was I born to be alone? To be an outcast?

I watch as the don't invite me over. Again.
Am I here to not have friends? To be by myself?

I seethe with anger as I watch them ignore me. Again.
Is it wrong to want them dead? To **** them with my bare hands?

I breath rapidly as I pick up the knife. For the first time.
Am I willing to do this? They are my friends, right?

I laugh as I repeatedly stab each on to death. For the last time.
I was willing to do this! They were never my friends!

I wake up from that dream.
And I watch.
I watch them. Again.

Sudden coldness fills me deep,
My thick warm clothes vanished in the frost,
Losing consciousness I start to weep,
Collapsing to the ground cold and lost.

Grey eyes looking so dull,
A ****** hole through your skull,
But it wasn't your fault,
That your life just came to a halt.

Dressed in an oversized pinny,
But in fact you were quite skinny,
They always called you fat,
It wasn't your fault you went splat.

Rope tied around your neck,
You're looking like such a wreck,
As you stepped off the wooden rack,
It wasn't your fault your neck went crack.

*A knife slid across your wrist,
They hardly knew you exist,
As it cuts through your vein,
Its not your fault you died in pain.

Hell* is at my door
knocking in some rhetorical rhyme
mimicking the voices
inside my head

"Get out of my ******* house"
screams my fathers voice
as his fist hits the yellow walls
of our dainty but quaint kitchen.

"You're just going to end up pregnant"
my mothers shill voice cries out
reminiscing in her past mistakes
blaming me for her horrible life.

"I was just your friend because i felt bad for you"
whined my best friend of ten years
swearing up and down
that I was a jealous, no good, compulsive liar.

"It just wasn't meant to be"
his voice echoed to my soul
breaking me down piece by piece
and walking away forever

My own personal hell
trapping me in the confines of the people I love the most
Haunting me with their displeasure
tormenting me to death

But death sounds like the perfect escape
away from this profane hell
occupying my home, mind, soul, and heart
who's still knocking at my door.

and you will
find me lying
on the floor,
looking happy for
the first time,
even though,
i will be in
hell,
where i truly belong.

Did I forgive you too easily?
I tried to be angry.
But you have this effect on me.
I know it sounds silly.
As I sit here; smiling.
You said you were looking at me.
I wonder now what it is you were seeing?
I tell you all the time.
Won't you do the same?
Point out the little things.
There has to be so many.
I'm afraid one day I won't be the same and you won't want me.
That my body will have changed.
I want you to tell me I'm pretty.
I don't believe it's ever been said.
You've touched me. Made me feel you wanted me. Begging. But you've never really told me. I think you're amazing. But it's always me. I've got a goofy look on my face and I'm biting down on my index finger. Wishing you would say something. Instead. You kiss me, too hard this time. Are you trying to tell me something? Just say it. Please. Just say it.