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The detachment is necessary
In refusal of pain I rest
I cleverly disassociate
From everybody’s death’s

Don’t look for me at funerals
I’ve no need for grim reaper’s grief
I’ll stay out here in the forest
And I’ll remain forever green!
Traveler 🧳 Tim
This is not me writing you another poem
This is not me
Alone
It isn’t me
Pretending to be
Willpowerly
I ain’t the one stalking your profile
I haven’t been there in a while
You won’t find me right nearby
Listening for your call
I surely have erected
An impenetrable wall
You won’t hear me ever cry
I ain’t got even one more try
You won’t hear my wild wolf howl
Not because it isn’t there
It is me to whom you turn a deaf ear
And it’s not me still here
 Jan 28 Laurel Selby
Liana
Work I have to do
Piling up
Making no room for thinking
Or peace
Or quiet in my brain

Tests
So many
I learn nothing from them
Yet I sacrifice the things that keep me alive
For those report cards
With an A as a grade

I beg
And sob
And plead to my mother
To let me stay home
Because have barely slept in days
My brain no longer functions
And that despite my medication
My panic stays

I didn't have time for reading
Or smiling
Or poetry
And for that last one
I'm sorry

Tomorrow I will try harder to read everyone's poems
And write some of my own

But for today
It's 10:30pm and I still have two tests, history homework, eating, and a shower to take take care of
(this note was written by tiredness)
 Jan 28 Laurel Selby
Liana
I feel less than
For I am a number
Or maybe an object
For seven hours a day

I feel less than
For I am different
And you are under people
If you aren't the same

I feel less than
Because I can't make my own decisions
And the people who do
Don't understand what it's like
To be in my head

I feel less than
For even my own haunted mind
Seems to rule over me
(this kite was written by an alien called humbeisvalizbs that was too lazy to think of anyyhing better for this note)
Rarity generally sets the price
Then how would you assay
The cost of life

We can't see any more of it
From this rock on which we sit

At least not now
And maybe never
So the valuation
To the earth is tethered

Do we figure the ones
Once here now gone
Or just those
Among us in the throng

Do all pay the same
For their go at this game
Does it depend on what you got
Out of it
Do the winners pay more
Or the losers forestall
Any invoice coming their way
But you pay with your time
Taken back at the end of your line
So your bill is already paid.
Out of the night that covers me,
      Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
      For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
      I have not winced nor cried aloud,
Under the bludgeonings of chance
      My head is ******, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
      Looms but the horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
      Finds, and shall find me, unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
      How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
      I am the captain of my soul.
 Jan 23 Laurel Selby
Liana
Dear monster in my head
I want to see you
Really see you
Inspect you
And understand you

Dear monster in my head
I promise if you come out of the shadows
I'll push away my anger
Desperation

So don’t worry
I’ll clench my fists

Dear monster in my head
I wonder what made you this way
Why you seem to hate me
Why scream these dreadful silent whispers
To me almost constantly

Dear monster in my head
I’ve only seen your beady red eyes briefly in a dream
And I want to observe the rest of you
For if I can’t always control you
I want to understand you

..

Is it you that see now?
Are you that figure coming out from the depths?
I can’t breathe
And I’m crying
Sobbing
But wait a second
...
You're stunning
Not like a sunset
Or a pretty girl
You just feel that way

Dear beautiful hurt in my head
I am so sorry I called you a monster
When you were just in pain

Dear beautiful hurt in my head
All bruised
With tear-stained cheeks
And terrible memories

It turns out that those beady red eyes
Was just the blood bleeding from our hearts
And that you actually have green eyes
That have some yellow near the iris
Just like me

Dear beautiful hurt in my head
I forgive you
And I hope you can forgive me one day
For making you hide in the shadows
Out of sight
And in my mind

Dear beautiful hurt in my head
Let us feel this pain out loud
Together
Holding hands
Watching good and bad days go by

Dear beautiful hurt in my head
I love you
Even though sometimes you make me cry
I feel like recording a 4-minute film of this, so I can show what the hurt looks like.

(This note was written by a fish who wanted to get caught in a net. At least someone would love him.)
 Jan 23 Laurel Selby
Nobody
i'm breathing fast
i'm seeing the past
things i don't want to remember
hit me like a blast

anxiety rising
breath denying
i'm hearing their words
i feel like i'm dying

their words hit me like a stab
i crunch like a crab
that they stepped on
i feel a jab

words bleed out of my chest
as i remember what i don't want to
i'm not ready
wait... just let me

try
to
forget
 Jan 23 Laurel Selby
rick
this is it, man
the last stop before hell
the final chapter before knowing the unknown
I prayed this day would never come
and I have feared it more than death itself
but now that it has arrived, I can’t move,
I’m paralyzed, comatose,
almost vegetable-like
too many nights were spent
laughing with diesel-powered killers,
singing with mop-haired lepers
in monotone slate
& dancing with minotaurs around
the open flame of age
it’s all behind me now
my days roll through soft and fuzzy
like peaches in the August heat
a cozy bed, comfy pillows, secure blankets
and yet, I felt safer in more dangerous places
(I always preferred the acid rain dripping from the mossy underpass over the holy water bubbling in the Vatican jacuzzi,
yeah dig?)
but now that I’m surrounded by all this
security, comfort and warmth
I feel less alive, almost finished,
when I’ve got so much more to unleash
like a mad dog, old and vicious and untrained by its master with enough bite
to inflame your wrists with rabies.
it’s been one hell of a picnic, lemme tell ya:
kissing death under the ring of vultures
loving women like a broken bear trap
delivering music like an olive branch
cleansing myself from these filthy poems
it’s time to turn it over to someone else
let them abuse the night
and listen to it scream
me? my nights weep themselves to sleep
and I join in on their sorrow.
is it already this time again?

I don‘t need to ask, because I know
the falling rain has turned to snow

the bluest sky covered by grey
fallen leaves stained with decay

like every cycle reaches its end
no life is anymore left to fend

light becomes something we don‘t see
rays of sun each day a fleeting memory

around me this ancient world solemnly dies anew
while I watch silently, sipping on a tea I just brew
it gives me peace seeing the endless cycle of the seasons
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