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WickedHope Oct 2021
Open spaces
Make me
Claustrophobic
The void
You opened up is
Smothering me
There is too much
Nothingness
And it is
Squeezing me tightly
Choking me
With emptiness
Stuffing it
Down my throat
I'm filled with it
The Empty.
I can't.
Please stop asking me.
I can't do this anymore.
  Oct 2021 WickedHope
Tupelo
I died today
In that quiet place we shared
Where the sun trickled in
between the cracks in the blinds
Like dawn through the trees

In that place where we took
shelter from the storms,
Listening to the rain fall heavy
above our heads

I died today
In those moments in between
Where the leaves fall softly
And the insects still sing
like leaves in the fall
WickedHope Sep 2021
Do you miss her
The Hell's Mistress I used to be
Pretty smiles
Prettier lies

******* you with my eyes
Skinning you with my words
I miss the power that came
In lying to everyone
This angelic facade is suffocating
I miss slipping off the mask
And slipping into your head
Making you my puppet
Then getting bored
And making you wish you were dead
Shoving my knife in your back
When you came
Walking into my life like it was yours
Following my breadcrumbs
Swallowing them whole
Who would have thought
You can hide arsenic so well
With just a hint of sugar
And a short enough skirt

Do you miss her
The Black Widow in my web
Eating you alive
To fill the void inside
I love it when the words write themselves for me.
- - -
I'm so sick of this tbh.
WickedHope Sep 2021
Your whispers follow me
Tickling my soul
The same way your face
Tickled mine when
You didn't shave

I don't remember
How your arms felt
Keeping me wrapped up
And held together against you
I'm falling apart
You aren't here
To help gather my pieces

Your laugh still plays
Like a broken record
A repeating track
Creaky and fading with each replay
When it stops
Then you'll really be gone
WickedHope Sep 2021
You laugh
My anxiety strangles me
You laugh
I am too big taking up too much room
You laugh
I long for days when nothing I did mattered

You leave
I wish I could go too
I miss KB and 2am, looking at me and reading my mind.
WickedHope Sep 2021
Here I am again
Cracked and broken
Heart ripped open
By the claws on the ends of my fingers
They are never coated in blood
A tidy sort of chaos
A mess-less, gutless dissection
Hollow space resides within
Emptied of everything
Shall we count the scars
Or will that bore you
To hear of the surgeries that came before
The operations and treatments
Self directed and self prescribed
By a med school dropout
Disgusting derelict defect
Split neatly into near halves
Tethered by a final pathetic stitch
That I am longing to rip
Free
I hate myself.
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