Caleb John

Caleb John Jun 2018

I had it all
The fancy car
The mansion
The late nights with pretty girls
When my voice hit the mic the world worshiped me
Crowds sang with me
I had all the money in the world
I went everywhere
Did everything
I did as I pleased
I was only told what I wanted to hear
I had the crowds
I was in the magazines
My name was known all over the world
I built the greatest economic empire in history
The sun never set on my empire
I had all I ever wanted
Yet it never satisfied
I ruled the world
Yet I still craved more
I needed more
And then one day you saw my name on a magazine
And all you thought was
Another star that committed suicide
What a waste

The perspective of a rock star that had the world in his hands

Caleb John Jun 2018

Broken

I feel scattered
The devil broke me and nearly destroyed me
He found chinks in my armor
He shot so many arrows into my dying body
I will always remain broken
But I hear that you use broken things
So if you use broken things
Here I am
Use me
I stand broken
Among a broken people
I can see all the cracks and corrosion's that fill our society
It nearly causes me to break even more
But if its true that you use broken things
And broken people
Here I am

Caleb John May 2018

My Cold Dead Hands

I will not give in

If the devil wants my heart

If he wants my soul

If he wants me to drop my weapons

He'll have to pull them out of my cold dead hands

God allowed the devil to try to break me

But He can't have my soul

He can't have my weapons

He can't have my heart

Unless he pries them from my cold dead hands

Caleb John May 2018

Running on Water

The Bible says in the gospels
The disciple Peter walked on water with the power of faith
When he lost sight of Christ he began to sink
The waves looked to high
Too big
Too intimidating
I wasn't called to walk
I was born to run
I was born to one day lead my wife
I was born to lead my future children
I was born to stand for whats right
Sometimes I lose sight of Christ
Sometimes I begin to sink
Then I remember
I was born to run
I was born to run on nothing but faith
I was born to run through the waves
Sometimes I begin to cave and it makes me sick
Then I remember that I am merely a tool
Sometimes I feel like one of the prophets
By all means I shouldn't be here
But I was born for more
And I wish it was something I did
But in fact I should be the last of God's choice
Why he decided to use me I don't know
When I meet him
I will ask out of wonder

Caleb John May 2018

Endure

What's the point?
To endure a consequence?
Where is the glory?
Where is the honor?
What do I have to boast of?
Every fire
Every pain
Every rage
Every stab
Was my fault
What was the point
Of trading water for sand
I found the point
I crucified my savior
And threw his grace to the wind
Then he crushed my pride and broke my hide
Yet my heart builds it back
Why won't this heart of stone crack?
Sometimes I think about the night
I considered putting a knife in my chest
Why did you save me?
When you picked me up and gave me life
You called me to do something so big
When I'm so small?

Caleb John May 2018

An Ocean

When I look into the skies of the night

All I see is an ocean

An ocean of stars

An ocean of galaxies

An ocean of star clusters

An ocean known as the universe

It rips and flows by the laws of gravity

Stars exploding and being born

Asteroids flying as fast as light

Galaxies of solar systems

With moons dancing around planets

In a heavenly dance

Only Godly hands could send these tides of gravity into this dance

This ocean of space is an ocean of beauty

Caleb John May 2018

My Past

When I look into my past it looks like broken mirror

It started out shiny and beautiful

Then the world got a hold on me

I took the beautiful life my God and Savior gave me

And threw it on the floor.....

This world looked so good to me but I only found that I was drowning in an ocean of sand

That mirror is corroded and disgusting

And all I'm left thinking is

Why was I so stupid

So many look at me and say Jesus shines in me

If that's the case why does my past look at me and like to bring me back

Why am I still here

I sometimes wish I lived at the time of the apostle Paul

Or I wish that I would be persecuted or beaten for my faith

Because that is nothing compared to what I deserve...

I wish those shards weren't stabbed in my back but that's where they are lodged

So why can't I be like pilgrim and drop my heavy burden?

Maybe because I'm a coward

Now here I am

At the feet of the cross

I would love to say I'll just put it down by the power of Christ and I'll be on my way

Why is it every time I throw it down it comes chasing after me?

Jesus I need you

I need to drop this guilt

I need to drop this sin

Sometimes I wish you could just give me a heart transplant

Because my heart crucifies you again and again

Day after day

I'm not strong enough

I'm worn

Jesus I can't fight this on my own

I can't win

I can't carry this

All around me are those you used me to love

But after what I've done I wish you would use someone else

I guess that's just one of the awesome things about you

Is where my sin abounds your grace is more.

I need your forgiveness

I need you

Please forgive me my Lord and my God