My heart shouldn’t have profusely bled
I saw her face only once
a moment’s crossing in a moment paid
not meant for a second chance!

The fire shouldn’t have leapt in me
she was a doomed emotion
trying to live in my penned poetry
meant to be only a notion!

My mind shouldn’t have imprisoned her
caged her from one mere glance
lived the phantom of an absurd affair
spilled ink in a mad trance!

I shouldn’t have sought her anymore
searched in the wild her trace
she couldn’t be my paramour
I saw from the crowd her face!

And I want to tell her that I understand
what it feels like to be fake, insignificant,
and a shadow on the sidewalk of society.

And I want to tell her that I also borrow
the experiences of others --
that I, too, learn feelings
by stopping and staring at personal wreckage,
like a tourist of emotions,
like an inevitable wish of a human being.

I guess it's true.
Drugs always have a price.

The ******* took my sense of smell and voice,
The ***** my sense of sight, judgement, and reality,
The marijuana got rid of my beauty.

But you, you took away
My soul,
My heart,
My mind,
My heart.

You are the most expensive drug of them all.
I gave you all this and it still wasn't enough,
Loans were made, never returned,
And here I am.
An empty carcass addicted to you.

You told me you had changed,
You would treat me so much
Better than before
With your **** attitude
And your **** "love."

And when I called you a liar,
You didn't deny anything.