I don’t want to be your maybe
Or an option, or a temporary distraction
I want to be your everything
I want to be your first thought in the morning
Your last thought before you dream
I want to be your dream
I want to be what you think of when you see
A breathtaking sunrise
A field of wildflowers
I want you to think of me when you come home
I want to be your home
I want to be your peace
I want to be the first person you tell about everything
The good, the bad, the ugly, all of it
I want you to want me around forever
I want to be your forever

I finally feel
like I'm me again
I haven't felt this good
Since I don't know when
My heart is not heavy
my mind is not spinning
My soul is uplifted
my life rebeginning
My future looks brighter
The path is made clear
My family is closer
My friends are more dear
I’ve learned many lessons
That got me to this place
But the greatest of all
Is to give myself grace

Bumps and ridges
and hidden faces
spots and dots
and dents in places
stars and lights
that glow and shine
strokes from brushes
that whirl and wind
these things I notice
while my mind is reeling
help me calm down

my bedroom ceiling

Before you open the bag
you feel the zing
in the back of your throat
under your tongue
Lips puckered
Mouth waters
Eyes squint
Reminds me of
the days when I was so carefree
that a piece of Sour Candy
could pause the world
halt my few childish worries
and bring out the laughter
I so dearly miss today

I wore them so long
that the glass
once tinted with ignorance
the innocence of naivety
became stained with blood
my life force
which I poured into them
to convince myself to stay
or that I could save you
or that you were worth saving
but now those shattered lenses
and glistening bent frames
scattered on the floor
are a reminder to see things
for what they truly are