as the song plays in the background
as the moon shines on our adolescent love
and as the stars shimmer in jealousy
i see you for who you are
I see you for the imperfections that makes you, you
as you smile, as i stare lovingly at you
and how you make my world radiate—
you were the nothingness that gave my life spark
the light at the end of the tunnel
most of all, you are my past, present and future

what if I've never been in love
i've just been infatuated and calling it love
what if the voices in my head never rest
and my demons begin to show
what if the God is saddened that i've strayed
and he keeps showing me signs but i never see them
what if my dark thoughts over cloud my good ones
and i become so different that I'm left alone
what if i don't find happiness
and just drown in the sadness of life
what if my whole life
i've just been wasting on people who don't matter
what if life is just a test
and i'm always getting every answer wrong
what if my faith never becomes strong
and i never experience the promise of heaven
what if waking up constantly becomes a pain
and that's my hell on earth
what if my heart's keep shattering
from falling for the wrong set of people
what if my heart heals
but the love doesn't last because devil keeps taking them
what if the there are no answers
and my life is just one blank question
what if i keep asking all the wrong questions
and left all the real answers go
what if my demons start to talk
and we become friends and it makes me feel at ease
what if i'm redeemed
but my friends and family are condemned
what if my insecurities makes me strong
that I stop trusting in people and their words
what if my time on earth is almost coming to an end
and I never get to make the littlest of a difference
what if i never make my parents proud
and just vanish out of existence
what if I keep asking what ifs
and nothing changes

What if I don't feel the happiness I read in books
What if I don't get a glimpse of my own happy ever after
What if I don't really exist for a purpose I'm just a cruel joke
What if I end up not making people around me happy
What if my fears and anxiety never leave me alone
What if my nightmares become my reality
What if I stop being able to express myself

What if there isn't a soulmate out there for me
What if all my Nos were meant to be my Yes
What if all the truth I told never did anybody good
What if I never get to feel the glory of Heaven
What if I came into this world with an alignment
What if I never amount to anything
But what if you end up achieving your dreams
What if you felt happiness like never before
What if you overcome all your worries
Just what if?

when you read my poems—
do you see my words explaining
the littlest of details till you can breathe them,
feel them and then relate with them

do you call it beautiful like others—
yet can't relate, feel or breathe them,
knowing they don't understand any of it

do you like them without knowing—
how the words can build you a safe haven
keep you warm in this abyss of a world

do you space out as you read each line—
touching the stars and getting pulled
into a colourful and yet dark world of emotions

do you feel your heart respond—
as you see yourself in each stanza
wondering if we've experience life together

do you feel nostalgic by the message—
that each poem represents one of your emotions
that you've buried deep within to fit in as normal for others

do you just pass through them—
thinking it's just words by another inept human being
who doesn't know a thing about your life not to talk about emotions

when you read my poems
forget about who wrote it or why or where or how it came to be—
read to understand the depth of the emotion and how it affects you

You walked in
your eyes shimmering as the sun does
your didn't have to talk the atmosphere talked for you
you smiled,laughed and made my day look bright
suddenly i needed to know if there was more to you
you seem like the genuine article
you were different but not by people's standards
you were not mine but you weren't anybody's
i wanted you to see me for who i am or who i'll be
i imagined if your smile brightens with me by your side;
but that was just me thinking out loud

You said Hey you
you mixed it with a cheerful smile on your face
you were beautiful in everything you did and in reality
you did you which made people notice you
you are old fashioned when it came to emotions
you have your way with words but all unintentional
you hid well from people's attention but secretly craved it
i needed to know why i knew the littlest details about you
how i feel so much for you and how i wanted it reciprocated
i slapped myself to know if this was really happening
only to wake up from that reality called my dream

You are never more conflicted
when you are a teenager in love
lost in a strange world of expectations
your heart filled with so many thoughts of one person
like chemical reacting to fullfil a purpose

You are never more insecure
when you are a teenager in love
that those feelings might be the end of you
sleepless nights, uncontrollable need to feel loved
but nothing more promising than being assured

You are never more hurt
when you are teenager in love
that when the love stops being love and more of a work
slowly but surely everything fades that only reality is left
and the memories never had a happy ending

I thought you were beautiful
like the rarest of things left in the world
to be admired, to be complimented
but it became clear i didn't understand you
calling you beautiful was seeing the surface of things
admitting that i don't see the see message in the painting
just the painting on the wall–
but the beauty i got to see could not be described in just words
you were carnation from the earth within
touched and nutured by love itself
you were the seed hidden between the rubbles
but not flawed, not harmed just growing with bliss
you were like shadows, hidden in darkness
but revealed the truest nature of things
that's what calling you beautiful means

-Vibeactivist