Go after what makes you feel
Do not do always the same,
That way is not going to heal,
It just gets things more insane.

Yes, it's going to feel strange
Sometimes, like the weather,
You need things to rearrange
And then it will look better.

Let the wind lift, shake a bit
Your hair, no one's looking at
And it's all good to be wild.

Be free, you are ready and fit,
Open up your soul to the sunset.
Embrace your inner child.

You turn real ugly when gambling
Someone completely new
Feelings end up getting hurt
By monstrosity you morph into

Lightning strikes ground between us
Bolt rippling through the earth
Just want to understand
How much tension these games are worth

It's like you depart this planet
Moment you begin
Nothing left behind here matters
Long as you win

You load account the first time
Dominoes start to fall
It's deposit after deposit
Until nothing left to spend at all

Spiraling downward swifter than bullets
You continue to accelerate
Convinced answer is sending a larger amount
Balance decreasing at alarming rate

You're sure I'm trying to nag and *****
Dousing in negativity
Swear that isn't my intention
Just desperate to make you see

My objections come from place of concern
I've seen you make the same mistake
No matter the repercussions you never learn
How many disasters does it take?

And only after you're down on your knees
In corner trapped with nowhere to go
You regret your reckless behavior
Demanded to reap what you did sow

You have zero temperance
In regards to this addiction
Put above everything else
Even when causing friction

You'll slouch there hours on end
Staring at seductive screen
Until every penny is blown
All or nothing-there's no in-between

It is irrelevant who's it is
If accessible it's fair game
Possible consequences ignored
Not experiencing any shame

You aquire most of the money
When you've earned I bite my words back
Have every right to waste it
I do my best to cut you some slack

But when feeling the first symptoms
Impossible to not be mad
Frustrated sick and pondering
The pile of dope we could have had

But even worse when it's my funds
Thrown right down the drain
Too selfish to share winning opportunities
Enough to drive a person insane

And when I dare offer advice
Urging you to cash-out
Pleas are an inconvenience
Judgement automatically doubt

So have no choice but helplessly watch
Your balance goes up and down
Even when succeeding half the time
Still eventually drown

Of course going to criticize
Irresponsible actions
You lash out at me claiming
I am a distraction

It must be easier blaming me
Take responsibility for decisions
Uncaring that hurtful remarks
Construct undeniable division

Your irrationality unnerves me
Ultimately pushing me away
Sacrificing anything for one more spin
Blind to price you pay

---

Laughing aimlessly,
trying to forget
my depressed soul—
so lonely.

How cool would it be
to feel normal,
like others do—
not always thinking
about my broken life,
or how it might turn out.

But in all,
we must keep going.

---

   Vickie

I feel the world at
   times conspires to make true my
basic discontent.

photographs of the dead
hammered into memory

flashes of imortalised moments
of all those who died young

as you get older and haunted
remembering to stay childlike.

In a world where power is the
                    government’s rule,
       A boy receives a gift—a power to
                        change it all.
  The girl who grants it, a force beyond
                             control,
  Her gift will shape the future, but at a
                       cost she’ll call.

"To **** you...
Was that my fate?"
He questions, seeing
The final state.
"You lived just to die?"
He asks in pain.
                                        Yes, my life was
                                         never plain.
"Then why give me
This cursed power?"
                                        To face the truth
                                       In this final hour.
                                       In this world,
                             where ends must start,
                      Life exists to break hearts.
"But life's more
Than just an end!"
It's moments, feelings-
Just to mend.
                                     "No!" She says,
                                 "death's part of light,
                                   Without it shadows
                                    Fill the night."
"You think it's
Wordplay!"
He says with fire,
"Why are we born,
If not to aspire?".      
                                   She smiles softly,
                                   Her truth untold:
                                 "Hope and meaning-
                                   Flickers bold.
                                   To live for death
                                   seems too cold,
                                 But without the end,
                                  Life grows old."
"No, I won't accept
This fate!"
He shouts, feeling
The weight.            
                                 "If you believe in
                                  what's true,
                                  Take my life, it's
                                  Left to you.
                                  Strike me down,
                                  and you will gain,
                                  Change this world
                                  From joy to pain."
But then he spoke
With his eyes so deep,
Words that woke her
Up from sleep:
"You don't have to die
To be free,
Your the reason
I still breathe."
                                  Her gaze softened,
                                  A tear fell free-
                                  In that moment,
                                  She chose to be.