I want to erase
Everyone's judgement except
My own
And say that today
It exceptionally
Hurts
To remember

Through the
heart of the earth
not the mind you can feel
it's a kind act
coming
from motherly decision making
from taking you
into a place of
collaborative
self-responsibility

Meet me
here and now
to take
my hand
with confidence
my Love

Don't  hesitate
to put
both
feet
on our path

and walk

Come lift your gaze
courageously
and look
at the
horizon

Walk on
Look
up

[...] If there were shadows on the walls they would be dancing around what appears to be the most outrageous scenery in this whole liquid universe, the one spot of color which could be seen as color: in the center of the deep water lake, the still and tense water, there sits, like a satisfied child crossed-legged and full of sweets, a pink lotus blossom on a bed of its own green thick rubber leaves. This stunning sight contrasts everything else of what this cave accommodates in an almost exaggerated manner. It is a shrill primal artefact in the purest and most humble surrounding.
The flower is there by itself, unaccompanied by any other blossom or plant, and yet it could not be more at ease with its exact position and situation. The mere sight of it is the most pleasant image - if only due to its convulsing inadequateness.

And the storm carries
With it
Fuzzy memories from
Times still
To come and softly
Touches
Your surroundings
So as to
Let you know

I put my heart in this poem
and wrap it
for whoever'd like
to take a look-
open and see-
and with a shy grin
tap the upload button
there-
You have it

Do you know how to
make the current rush
from your heart to your
toe and through
til your fingertips

Do you know how the world
likes to play with you

Do you know
all you thought
could be true,
Love

Holy Christ how
the hell could we
for so long
leave out
of this gesture
the Mother
how
on earth
could we think
this would work

Forehead to
pointy forehead you
swim in the
cloudy
cold water with
the giant
showing his
gentleness
against all odds

In my mind I see
a single
pinkish
petal
zigzagging through the air
according to a very
private logic
and I am stunned
by the beauty
of it

It's not all just
hips moving
Love
it's more than that and less
mechanical

A dream of two palms
touching
a spark
ignites the whole of
universe

And later
panting
two kids having run
a long way
smiling at each other

How come this feels so
warm and familiar
and new
all at once

I do not play
I-love-you-more-than games
I do not chain
the thing called love
to fear
It is
too dear to me
and thus I let it
roam

You feel like okay my fingers itch twitch like it needs to be written needs to, ah like, squeeze it all out and in between it feels tremendously like
***
And what if
No kid this time no what ifs
This time just running if you feel like it
This time
Just hum like a humming bird not like
A wrecking ball caught between two schedules
You now
Have full control
Of your body parts baby
No dealing with outer fury and
Guilt in order to make them shift
You have
Grown a whole
Incredible lot
Like a mountain on the move
And dealt with
Water whirling in the
Scariest form
No one now
Dare
Touching
Your untouchable parts and if so
Become
A tiger and roar like what not
Roar your guts out have them spill
In front of everyone right on
The coffee table
Does no harm to
Shake 'em up a bit
Once in a while-
Oh what
A lightened smile this casts
Upon your face
What a
Feast of learning
Celebrate
Yourself
My dear
Remember
It is
Chaos
It
Is
Always
Here
For you

Full of water
now
what formerly consisted
of separate compartments
has merged and
is connected by
the soft flood
that has forced
the cells to
recognise their oneness

[...] The silence here is so pure that even the dripping of the stalactites cannot interrupt it or rather, it does not disturb it. The cave is space, it is wide and indescribably dark. The water in it has a certain tension; it is quiet but tense like an animal ready to jump at the lion’s roar and run for its life out of instinct. The water has memory and knows how to be, how to remain and evolve. It is here in this stone-cold silence without imagining ever not to be here, or not to be at all.

What a beautiful
Sight
The naked man
Courageous and
Completely unashamed

A part of me still
flinches
at the sight of
hospital scenes
tubes and white sheets
blood stains-
it's not the hospital though
it's
the memories

Take off your clothes along with
your false believes, bank account, infiltrated systems
cough up your wounds and heal them
unwind
leave city, color, job, house and religion
far behind
just for a bit

and look: what do you see?

From here you can
climb from the ashes like a
free bird in the morning sun

Come up with your
completely own cute tale, my Dear
and spin it

You are the world;
move in it

And why not value
your writing just as much as you would value
your body
an orange
a cement vase
a jar of honey or
a metal instrument
why not
bend
reality
to your own needs
and wishes
this time
why not
rhyme
your world into
a state of
being

Popping up
on walls
in dreams
on flowers' thorns
to make
the fire
tangible

If you shout
Loud enough
Maybe you'll manage
To distract
Yourself and everyone
Else from the face that
Waits behind
The mask

What a
Sick thing climbing
Up and out
Never to return again cause it's
Enough already
It’s
So much enough now that
I almost shove it out
Cupping my hands together thinking
Off off outtt
And howl
Like a wolf but fiercer
Teeth more
gritted and
Gripping what seeps out of my intestines pushing
It like no now is
not the time
Not the time for
Minor fuss
It’s time for
Big things
Major changes
And I am sick of
Waiting

The illusion
of safety
now bursts
and makes room
first
for the fear
and next
for real safety

I sit with my coffee and think
you can handle it
sit and see
the little things like
people are much more
available now
greet each other
see single mothers
maybe
through a respecting lens
let not slide through their hands every
opportunity for real contact
Appreciate
the helping offers
of their friends
and-

in-between-

complain
but thats a habit

I put my coffee down and start
to smile
and feel a warmth
re-spreading

as people slowly
lose their fear
of touching

See a white rabbit climb
out of its hole
again
and squinting in
the sunlight

Such a
Wide gaze
Feels hard
To bear
At times and I am
Still in the process
Of figuring out
Why