Searching for the forty-ninth state
Seven times seven, known for its parallel
Except she couldn't be more crooked
At first, prejudices tainted most thoughts
But then those white tulips in the backseat
are more than evidence, they are answers
Escape the labyrinth? but how?
Straight and fast-the notes in the margin
They still search, but their consciences have quieted
Escape the labyrinth? here is how:
Through and through

-c.j.

Time must move forward
For anything to progress
Or change
There is no skipping
Fastforwarding
Or going back
Time must pass
Before anything else can
This is a reality
But there is a way to slow time
To try and sort things out
Before they pass by
Take a deep breath
Inhale
Exhale
Who says that we cannot live forever
In each second

I saw him drowning in tears,
Crying out that his fears exist.
Curled up in a corner rocking himself back and forth.

"What did she do to you", I frowned.

'She broke my heart and still I Love her. Does that make me weird? My heart aches for her, My body cries to hold her in my arms, to do something or watch her smile. I miss her green blue eyes that would pierce through me. I miss her exceptional smile and the sound of her laugh. She's a monster, A very Beautiful monster. I need her. She's the cause of all this pain. I can't seem to forget her, I want to hate her but the more I try the more I fall in love with her'

He stops and starts rocking himself back and forth singing.
"Twinkle twinkle little star"
"How I wonder what you are"
"up above the world so high"
"She made me fall from cloud nine".

Another friend lost to an asylum.
When Am I next?

I really needed you,
But you weren't there
You said you were my friend but you left me

I lay here broken and shattered, who can I let in now?
Who will hold the pieces together?
We made promises of eternity, tied our souls
But somehow you managed to break your oath
When things got rough you packed your things and left
Leaving nothing, not a trace
Now here you are once more, laying flowers on my grave
Why have you returned? You didn't care when I cried your name, Didn't look back when you heard me shatter

You already broke your promise, allowed me to swallow those pills, cared not when I slit my veins open
Yet here you are at my grave, and all you have for me are flowers
I thought you were my friend

I sit down in tweak town
To jot down a new noun,
A nice verb, a poetic sound,
But all that comes out
Is blah blahs, and doubt.
There’s not enough coffee,
To help satisfy me,
As long as I compare myself,
To everybody else.

So here in caffeine city,
The poetry is witty.
Every verse excites me.
Every line invites me,
To be better.
Speed is my muse,
As long as I let her.

A nicotine lozenge,
Four milligram a piece,
Helps me stay awake,
Until, I am allowed to sleep;
Helps me to stay alert,
Helps me write this verse,
But in the end
The zzzz will hit me worse.
I guess, I should have just gone to bed
Instead.

I don’t know why but it hurts more when the sting is coming from your lips.
Do you ever regret me?
When you look into my eyes do you see yourself?
Do you see your soul-mate’s eyes?
They’re the same shade of brown.
Does it make you feel big to make me feel little?
And do you mean what you say?
I feel Victimized by you.
And I feel like I try to outrun this storm but this tornado follows my every move;
Lashing it’s wrath at me every chance it gets..
Ruining everything in the process.
Did you know when you call me stupid I believe you?
And that sometimes I wait outside for what feels like hours,
Just to avoid any contact with you.
I’m scared to talk to you all the time because I never know which
“you” is going to respond..
I pray for peace amid the storm but sometimes it doesn’t come…
Then I break..
I go into a deep dark hole dug by your bare hands.
You help me in, it’s your pleasure…
What I never expected was to find a white dove at the bottom of this hole.
I send him to you in hopes he helps you find your way,
And I told him to tell you I love you…