My brain has been torn apart
Crumpled together
And smeared across the billboards of my timeline
My heart shredded and trampled on
My body has seen torments and tortures
That parents fear and
Don’t understand the possibility.
I was told it was my fault.
Every action had its cause.
Every act of terror had its reason.
Me.

But it was never my fault.

I wasn’t the reason I hated this thigh,
Or this skin
Or these bones.
Or this brain
This way of thinking.

Nothing was ever wrong with me.

The moonlit sky hovers
a dark and empty street
A night submerged with wonder
and stillness

In a blissful voice, the night sang
about a faraway land,
where the pastures danced
and summer was everlasting

Lustrous knights roam the land
and the goblins lurks in the shadow
Like the darkness I lay on
As my bones relish in the calm
of this wonderful night

XI • VI • MMXXIV

︻デ┳═ー  

blood drips.
i can feel it on my fingertips,
i can taste it on your lips.

how did we get here?
i am drowning in fear.
there's no escape plan near.

they keep taking.
a nightmare waking.
we keep breaking.

the air is thickening,
gunshots quickening,
this is all so sickening.

blood pools.
genocide fuels.
american jewels.

⚊  

everyday i wake up and i’m reminded -
people will never be there like they said they would,
you can’t make someone understand;
you can’t make anyone care.

it doesn’t matter what you’re facing,
it doesn’t matter how many times you warn people.
as soon as you need more than you can give,
everyone’s opinions change.
if it’s not about them -
no one's listening.

it doesn’t matter -
if you paint your fears on the walls.
it doesn't matter -
if you claw for support on chalkboards.

you could say you had a plan,
unleash all the demons.
you could try to beg,
you could try to plead,
doesn't matter.

it'll never matter.
you'll never matter.

you can’t make someone understand;
you can’t make anyone care.

i wonder what i would’ve been like
if i learned to love myself
instead of being taught to break down every little atom and put it on display
just to be torn apart

you’re smarter than me.
stronger than me.
and a bit more scared than me.

ignorance is bliss.
weakness is strength.
fear is excitement.

☼

i guess ive always had a thing for fire
standing too close -
letting the smoke suffocate me,
the smell latch onto me.
i know i might burn,
but it’s where i want to be -

ignited by all of this desire inside of me