please i need an out

                                         i need out please
    
                    i need out
  

                                                               ­        i need

                                                   o

                                                   u

                                                   t


i
   m

                                   S
                                      U
                       ­             f
                                   F
                                          o
                   ­               c
                                         A
                                     t
                                   I
                                       N
                                    g

I wish I could go back.
I wish I could go back and ask you why.
I wish I could go back and have one more conversation,
About why you just stopped.
Stopped.
Was I being myself too much?
Was I not pretty enough? Not popular?
Too loud?
Loud.
I used to be loud.
I used to enjoy talking to you.
You made me feel like I could open up.
Open.
I can't do that anymore.
I can't completely let my guard down,
In case they're like you.
You like hearing "like you," don't you?
Like being liked? I can tell.
I did too.
You took away my trust, but still;
I wish I could go back to you.

In my heart is a burning desire
to give you love that is as breathtakingly fierce as a wildfire
but is as tenderly calming as a soft rain—
the kind that kisses away pain.
Yet if I cannot take your pain away,
still, let me stay.
Share it with me,
even if I, too, must bear it for eternity.
I will adore you in your every color, every hue—
yellow, red, green, blue.
To you, I am deeply and utterly devoted,
my only, always, and beloved.

Do you feel it too?
Or am I scribbling a madman’s manuscript?
The warmth, the haze—
This feeling of a desperate chase.

Does nature only mock me?
Does it grace you?
The wind caresses the skin of all beings—
Do they call you a pawn
In a mesmerizing scheme?

Or am I just being dreamy?
It is necessary for my heal.
Is it the same, the likewise intuition?
Do you feel, what I feel about this creation
Or is it - crazy guy's manifestation.
Do you feel it too?
What I feel?
Listening to my conscience I scream.

I made you a cup of tea
put honey in it

it's still just sitting there

probably because we broke up

what do I do now?
with the tea, I mean

I want to write honestly.
Speak the truth.
I want to stare in a mirror
and see anyone but you.

I want to love out loud
and speak my feelings, too.
I'm not the kind of brave
that counts, no matter what I do.

I wish it wasn't almost over
that I had more time to spend.
I want to speak words into facts,
to stand tall but only ever bend.
I'm working toward a finish
but only coming to an end.