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 Nov 2024 Selwyn A
n
l o n g i n g.
 Nov 2024 Selwyn A
n
I've always been a little selfish,
a little spineless,
a little reckless.

I'll use anything as an excuse.
An excuse for the lack of -


                                      l  o  n  g  i  n  g.


God, I wish I could change things.

Ripping off- each bandaid,
salting every wound.

God, I wish there was another option.

I am closing all the doors.
I am pouring gasoline.

God, I am so sorry.

I've always been -
a little mindless.
Always shown -
a little too much kindness.

I've just never felt so flightless,
I don't really feel like -
I should fight this.
I long to be just -
a little bit dramatic.
 Nov 2024 Selwyn A
zaniyah
i am five years old
daddy’s girl, waiting to be tucked in
as he does so, he says get some sleep
he’ll be here in the morning

its the morning, he’s there
we go out, but soon we have to leave
he says he’s sorry, he has to work
but he’ll make it up to me

i am ten years old
on the couch waiting to be picked up
im going out with my dad
he says he’ll be here soon

it’s been two hours, he won’t make it
he has to work
he said he’ll make it up to me
so i don’t worry

i am fifteen years old
i haven’t heard from my dad in years
he didn’t say he had to work
he did not make it up to me

i am no longer daddy’s girl
i am not waiting to be tucked in
i am not waiting on the couch
i am not waiting for a response
 Nov 2024 Selwyn A
showyoulove
The spirit is willing to hear your every word
But my body says, this is right now, absurd
For sleep comes welcome to the weary worn
But I have made a covenant that will not be torn
Give me strength Lord for my lids are as stone
Give me light for my sight grows dim
Give me your promise I won’t go through life alone
Give me your heart afire from within
The struggle is real Lord and the fight is long
The spirit remains, but strength is gone
Tomorrow is a new day full of promise and vigor
And I’ll be there with strength and a heart that is bigger
 Nov 2024 Selwyn A
n
Hey you,

I hope you’re not sick of hearing from me.
I’ve been writing letters to you in my sleep.
It seems your last reply got lost in the mail.
Or I probably just forgot the return address.                                                  
Again.­

It’s been a long time, hasn’t it?
I’m not quite sure anymore.
I’ve never seemed to be able to keep track.
I think I’ve been stuck in this sort of -
loop.

Have you ever felt like that?
Spinning over, and over, and over,
and over.
A record on repeat.

Anyways, I miss you.
I’ve been trying to call, but it’s kind of funny –
it never even goes to voicemail.
It just keeps on ringing.
Ring. Ring. Ring.

I guess your inbox is full.
All those missed messages from me.
You’re probably just busy.
Again.

I should be busy too –
But of course, I’m not.
Again.

I guess I’ll go and write more letters in my sleep.
Wait for the lost replies –
Ignore the tears in my eyes.
Keep playing that record on repeat.

I know you’ll be home eventually.

Love you always.
Sincerely, me.
 Nov 2024 Selwyn A
Vivi
warm
 Nov 2024 Selwyn A
Vivi
he's here

and once again i fall slowly
light as a feather
gravitating to the river
to be washed away
by the peaceful flow
 Nov 2024 Selwyn A
Left Foot Poet
today,
walked the river arcade,
by the river~side.
same,
where, & when,
a decade earlier
and a laugh ago,  
we performed
a daily differential calculus

of the distance to that line,
a watermark,
where my accidental drowning
would be insurance covered

don’t recall, if back then,
poetry writin’ was a good  
a daily companion, or-even
a mere passing acquaintance

but went to
all-in-all-alone-freedom,
found riches,
yet still pressed in rags
of remorse, mourning surely,
until & still a
woman, or
three, rated me a
good looking edible,

even
if only didn't always dress
in black, head to toes, like an
extra cool new yorker, or an
attendee at my own fun~ereal

since those days,
gallons millions, zillions
of brackish seawater has flowed
out to sea as far as
England, Philippines, New Zealand,
whichever be connected to the
rain water of Adirondack mountains
flowing past East 57th Street,

my salty tears replenished,
but time changed the causation,
from oy to joy in simp terms
that rhymes…with me and yours

water woman water woman water
makes the heart capable of weeping
tears of joy,
oh! happy drowning
how do
you cross from woman to water,
that, now I walk on a
water bridge of loving
hard, steel & liquidity of
concrete, smooth roughness
became the path to loving living
 Nov 2024 Selwyn A
Golden Flower
Do the flowers mourn when one is picked?
I know that question is kinda morbid and sick.
But I’ve always wondered if they somehow know,
Like for weddings and birthdays that it’s their time to go?

Do they feel sorry for lovestruck dames,
That pull off petals whilst saying their crushes’ names,
That pulled the last petal on “He loves me not”?
Do they feel bad that she’s distraught?

Do they compete on who’s the prettiest?
Each person has an opinion of which flower is the best,
Of their looks are they actually aware,
Do flowers even care?
 Nov 2024 Selwyn A
Kindinheart
Don’t keep your feelings hidden
Tell one’s you love the truth
Convey all your words of emotion
To strengthen the bond of trust
Your emotions are hidden
Due to memories of the past
But don’t let this ever stop you
Expressing words felt by your heart
 Nov 2024 Selwyn A
Tiana Marie
She was like music,
and I longed to dance.

Her heart was the beat,
and I begged for the chance.

Her words were the vocals,
and I was put in a trance.

Her smile was the melody,
and I fell in love at first glance.
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