alia: Poems

Mar 25 · 132

alia Mar 25

Stuck in a group I didn’t choose,
Left to clean up while they just cruise.
They joke, they stall, they waste time,
Yet act like their work’s as good as mine.

One barks orders, stands so tall,
Yet does nothing, nothing at all.
And the other leader? Just sits back,
Leaving me to pick up slack.

I bite my tongue, I hold it tight,
Till I snap and set it right.
I burned them down, I let it out,
No more patience, no more doubt.

And you know what? I won’t lie,
I don’t regret it, not this time.

I've had enough of them! They all ****! I'm tired! I did most of it! You guys barely did anything! I hate them! I wish I wasn't the leader! I wish I was gone! Why cant you just listen to me?!

They've made me shed the tears that I've held for so long.

Mar 24 · 289

afraid of myself.

alia Mar 24

afraid of myself.

I sit with my thoughts, they whisper, they creep,
Dark little secrets I swore I would keep.

I scare myself with the things I feel,
The weight, the doubt, are any of them real?

I smile, I laugh, I play along,
But inside, it all feels so wrong.

Is it me, or just my mind?
I’m scared to look, scared to find.

I often get afraid of myself lately.. like what if i accidentally did this in real life? what if I was just disappeared god knows how.

Mar 24 · 40

..Unnoticed..

alia Mar 24

..Unnoticed..

I stand beside them, close enough to hear,
But somehow, my voice disappears.
They talk, they laugh, they make their plans,
And I’m just there, empty hands.

It’s not that they hate me, I know that’s not true (at least I think so),
But somehow, I’m never thought of too.
Not the first call, not the second glance,
Just a shadow in the background’s dance..

They don’t push me out, but they don’t pull me in,
Like I exist, but just barely fit in.
I wave, I smile, I try to be seen,
But I’m fading out in the space between.

Would they notice if I walked away?
Would they ask me why I didn’t stay?
Or would my name slip from their minds,
Lost in the shuffle of passing time?

It’s not their fault, they never see,
How it feels to be almost, but never fully me.
And maybe one day, I won’t have to try,
To feel like I belong, instead of just getting by.

...heh...

Mar 20 · 124

One Day,

alia Mar 20

One Day,

Hopefully, the doors will open wide,
And I’ll step inside, full of pride.
The scent of sugar, warm and sweet,
A dream that started from just a beat.

Flour on my hands, a spark in my heart,
Every recipe, a work of art.
Late nights, early days, endless tries,
Turning failures into highs.

They’ll walk in, drawn by the smell,
Of vanilla, cinnamon—I know it well.
A cozy place, laughter and light,
A little café, warm and bright.

Maybe they'll say, "I love this place,"
With smiles that make my heart race.
And I’ll know, through all the strife,
I baked my dreams into life.

maybe.. hopefully..

Mar 16 · 171

never enough.

alia Mar 16

never enough.

I try, I change—never enough.
I smile, I bend—never enough.

I give my all, I break, I mend,
But nothing seems to reach the end.

I speak, I wait—never enough.
I fade, I stay—never enough.

No matter how hard, no matter how much,
I’m always too little, I’m never enough.

this is about trying so hard but still feeling like it’s not enough—no matter what I do, it feels like no one really notices. It shows how exhausting it is to keep chasing something I know I’ll never reach.

Mar 10 · 176

The weight no one sees..

alia Mar 10

The weight no one sees..

I sit in a crowd, but I feel alone,
A stranger in places I should call home.
Their voices blur, a distant sound,
Like I’m here—but never found.

I laugh on cue, I play my part,
Hiding the cracks inside my heart.
They see a face, they hear a voice,
But never the thoughts I drown by choice.

I wish I could say what’s trapped inside,
But every time, I run and hide.
Because what if they don’t understand?
What if no one holds my hand?

So I keep quiet, nod, and smile,
Pretending it’s okay for a while.
Maybe one day, the noise will fade,
And I’ll no longer be afraid.

Mar 10 · 358

What if..?

alia Mar 10

What if..?

Ugh, Why Didn’t I Say Something?

Okay, so like… there was a time,
When you liked me, and I liked you—what a crime.
But I didn’t know, I was so clueless,
And now I’m here, feeling kinda useless.

You’re cute, you’re tall, it’s actually unfair,
And I catch myself trying not to stare.
Do you still feel the same, or is it too late?
Am I stuck overthinking while you’ve moved on straight?

I wish I had said it, just got it all out,
Instead of sitting here filled with doubt.
But maybe—just maybe—you still feel it too,
And you’re wondering the same thing about me and you.

…

— The End —