The juxtaposition of danger and safety,
The excitement you feel with the haste,
You hold back,
You move forward,
Cause it’s a straight line,
It isn’t gray, although it may seem,
It is black and white,
To fulfil your desires, to bring happiness,
To bring magic, to bring a wholeness to your life,
You want more, you want depth, you need to connect, to get to the bottom of it,
There is plenty to say, plenty to examine,
Plenty in the depths of your soul,
You give in…
You seek the pleasure you cannot ignore…
You disconnect to connect with yourself, cause you always want to be on a path to explore,
You don’t want to be held back, you need to seek and find out what runs deep,
Danger and safety are two sides of a coin and you realise you are water that cannot bind,
You need to flow,
You don’t need the ground below or a ceiling to hold you back,
You were born to be free,
And not live and slip through the cracks

The distance between what if and even if
I read something profound,
"What if?" is fear,
"Even if.." is faith,
The faith and trust you feel when you have yourself,
The faith built on everything you have built, and your own foundation,
The faith that cannot be shaken and is your center,
Believe in yourself and don’t fear anything at all,
Cause you are enough to change the world,
Leave the fear behind,
Those that cannot come along will fall,
Or not, they will stand tall on what is their will ,
You need to move forward without fear and never still,
Flow like the water, rage like it too,
Use the water to make way for you,
Make yourself the center of your own core,
Cause you are enough to change the world.

I look inside and feel a storm
Of a vicious fight it was born
I doubt myself
Maybe too much chaos
Maybe a pattern
I need to break to make space
For it all

I see myself in a long back dress
Walking through the winds
Them pushing me back and yet I tread on
The storm rages and goes on and on
Of anger and chaos it is born

I feel serene but serious too
I feel I need to push through
Will it end? Will I end?
Can I survive it to get to the other end?
Without destroying myself in bargain

What awaits me at the other end?
The dawn?
Will it greet me and keep me warm
Or will it push me right back into the storm
Cause maybe that is the place I belong?
Maybe I have embraced the storm.

Maybe I don’t
Maybe I don’t need the Chanel and the Hermes
Maybe I just need someone to know me
Maybe I just need someone to look into my soul
And say I know
I’m here
I’ll stay
Maybe someone will fill the space and never let go
Maybe someone will hold my hand and spin me through
This dance we call life
Maybe when I reach the end I will look back and smile
And think it was all worthwhile
Maybe I will get anchored and stop
Maybe I will give up, change and never be distraught
Maybe I will drive
By the sea and feel the wind through my hair
And feel free
And feel the devotion
And the storm in my head would subside
Maybe I don’t need the Chanel
I just need to fill the space inside

When you were born
I was torn
I was a mess, trying to keep it together
I never thought I will be tethered
Yet there was this small bundle I had to feed
I tried to feel normal but couldn’t be
I had people tearing me from you
I wanted to scream and the resentment grew
I had people saying I couldn’t do it
I had people saying don’t do it
I had people watching every move
I focused, I honed, I was determined to prove
I was vulnerable, I was strong
I knew I had to be a storm
To protect you from the world
While you slept oblivious
My world
I tried with all my will to communicate
But people would not hold still
I figured it all on my own
I was not a mother
You made me one
I look back and it stays
I look back and never forgave
I want to put down all the hate
I deserved more
But darling I know I will always have you
I just know
Takes away the pain
Makes me walk away

I told him he gives me nothing
He dumped his world in my lap
I need to prove that we can get through
And I deserve the world in the end
It’ll be a journey and it excites me
Step by step
We move towards the precipice
We’ll make it there
We won’t despair
And have a little fun along the way
I feel confident about us
It always felt right
I can’t let him down
Will not turn around
Until we claim this world despite

It breaks my heart to see you like this
It breaks my heart to see you dejected
I want to give you the world
To make it all in gold
And offer it on a plate
It breaks my heart that you suffer
I pray that you never break
I pray that you escape
I pray that life gives you all the keys
I pray that it never lets you weep
I pray that you get all you want
I pray that you get all you need
I pray that life keeps you warm
I pray that when you look at the stars
Some day you think of me
I’ll always have you in my prayers
And think of you no matter where
The sweet chapter that life showed me
May you get everything and have it for keeps