Trigger happy
Finger driven
Don't lift my body
Just my spirit
Is it weird
That I don't always
Like sensual
Unusual at best
I'm used to my human  I guess
I am another animal
let out all my anomalies
& scream for closure,
For criticism,
For Recognition

No more power-play
Fixated on fake arrangements
That hang off each neck  
I try not to show up
All in faded days

I bathe in good riddance
trickle my fingers
over the warmth as it cleanses
create ripples
that eventually die out
playing God for a moment
wash the sins away
savor this flavor beading down
tickling over my femininity
FIVE MINUTES EARLIER
I was smothered in gluttony
slathered in bacon grease
purged away my worries insecurities and uncertainties
pain was unheard of
smell the sickness
fogging the windows
clouding my future and blanketing the room
the aroma is a reminder, I earned this rejuvenation
exhausted. throat throbbing.
self-betrayal
name calling
slaughter the voice
That caused
Awful sobbing
Where's the positive reinforcement?

Just prose of brutal honesty
I do drugs
I write
but nothing ever satisfies
underneath the bones in my chest
lies a gaping hole
Im not sad, im not scared
but empty
of almost everything
something missing
can't find it
can't fill it
spent countless hours tryin'  to **** it
why cant I be satisfied?
Nothing can cure my loneliness
not people
nor time
I just cant be satisfied.

The world rejects me
tastes then spits me out
such a bitter texture on the tongue
I have been given the ability
to understand & argue
both sides of an issue
might just be a symptom
of my fickle disease
I am a toy in life's childish hands
spreading sneezes
as it shares me with the other worlds

We are trapped within ourselves
noses glued in biographies
cobwebs covering the shelves
the big book of 'WHYs' I havnt even tried to read
too much respect, too much mystery
I leave it there abandoned
because my stomach churns to look at it
meant for mint condition
wanted and forbidden
it took so much time to sew up
took so much thought when written
I know you BREATHE EAT SLEEP,
like me you have human needs
Page by Page
you spectate
We feed off of mutual inspiration
WE

Breath in
take a wiff
Fight off blind spots
Dissolve these
four walls
that box me in
eating away at my perception
fill my lungs up with smoke
...pause...
and choke choke choke
the worries
loosen from the bone tissue
and temporarily
this gives me a profound dream