Your laugh echoes thru my heart
Like school bells @3pm
My feelings rush for the halls of my mind
Like School children towards their lockers
I open up the memories of where you were
Some are finely folded in the back of a notebook
Others ripped & torn falling from tethered folders
I pick them all up
I keep them all
I leave them all in the places I find them
I scatter none across the ground
I do not rewrite other notes beside or on the flip side of them
They still smell like the fear of rejection
They still feel like the nervousness of a crush
& my God; they stick to my hands like first loves always do
There is nothing to wash away
I have licked, kissed & gently rolled my lips
All over the sweetness of your fleeting presence
It is only sour on the days I yearn for more
On those days music is honey across bitterness
I dance to all of our favorite songs
I smile like warm brown sugar
Each crumble dropping somewhere close to who you really are
Yet I don't see you anywhere near here
I can feel you pretending to feel nothing
About the best feelings you've never had
These memories, these notes; they become books
I rarely drop them but when I do
Some brave soul always seems to want to help me carry them
Despite the back pack full of his own
He doesn't know that I know what happens when his shoulders fail
When carrying mine distracts him from the weight of his own
It is only when I take mine away that he can feel what was there all along
We could all use a little summer vacation in love
A time to put away the notes we've written
Become the words instead
Share them under peach trees
& Palm Trees
& Metro Parks alongside lakes with still waters
Listen to them crackle in bonfires
Drown out the loudness with laughter
Tilt your head back
Taste them on your lips like Half Iced tea Half Lemonade
Hold that left hand in your right, tightly
Inhale the fragrance of a first introduction



Not things

Pardon me...
but why is your heart so hardened...My G
I know you have a watered down definition of what a woman should be
Thanks to IG
obviously
half naked public pics just isn't me
Thankful that you still noticed me
Word is, it was my poetry
so before I proceed

May I?
Why thank you my dear!

Now another question
Can you come here?
If only for a second
My third eye don't lie
Ya whole vibe says you struggle with affection
is that your fathers image being reflected?
or your Mother & all the parts of you she neglected?
I don't need an answer
I wanna help you catch it before it spread like cancer
Would you take the road to recovery if you could plan it?
Love aint everything but not having it is a disadvantage

May I?

Light a candle, pour the cognac & light an incense
before I give you the same thing you've always had, only different
dripping in innocence
although in your mind I'm guilty
it's only in your mind
in this instance
allow me, the freedom to be me
allow you, permission to be seen
not viewed
lets color coordinate our highest chakra hues
its no coincidence that after the heart is exposed we fear being used
because we communicate thru the throat chakra and its always blue

May I?
Explain instead of running game

that's why the candle I lit is white, the drink is a grape
the incense is lavender & the music is Xscape
I want you here with me but resting in outer space
enjoying my inner beauty
admiring its outer shape
no matter how out of shape
watch me bend, don't let me break
fragility is humility
I am soft with you
I do fine finding my way when you're away
May I? Get lost with you

I want to write you poetry

I want to be the cover pulled up to your chin against your nightmares

a reminder

that fear only has as much power as we give in to




never forget




love is not a fairy tale

neither is the story of creation

lets love as intentional as his 7 days




I'll be honest

even when it hurts

pain is pleasure

only when we can grow thru what we go thru




keep in mind




we have all been let down by love

yet never abandoned by God

& God is love




Betrayal lingers behind me like cigar stench

I just keep flicking the ashes

wiping them from my clothing

hoping they don't ruin the fabric of who I am




change is necessary




open your heart

make a place for me there

speak into words what it feels like




to Truly be loved...

I wonder if Mary knew when she kissed his cheek
That she was watching the son of God sleep
Makes me wonder...
How did you notice me?
Nothing special about a pair of tired eyes
The truth of  beauty wired with lies
This world makes it so easy to quit
Instead of sticking it out
we switch
Partners like whips
a new ride every 36
on the emotional rollercoaster
aren't you sick?
Motion sickness for all the hits
The heart isn't trained for combat
loving men don't fight in wars
but loving women were never taught that
No one knows what's right anymore
Being wrong is up for interpretation
Therefore, if nothing can be as real as it was before
isn't this all just our imagination?
Is yours running wild?
polluted with the normalcy of bearing the out of wedlock child
that line reads judgmental yet you judged me when you read it
is it possible the thinker is just as guilty as the one who said it?
the sinner & the saint live within the same risks
Yet one believes in himself the other in his gifts
The believer knows more than most
For he knows the truth is the truth for them both
There's been a lot of smoke
yet the dust never settles
Is love still love after we've all settled
for less than what we deserve
based on the absence of perfection that we've observed
flaws leave lines blurred
where destiny should have never been disturbed
how many times has your soul mate left you?
how many lifetimes before you can say they accept you?
I've seen love
Obscene love
I still dream love
about being in love
with a beam of love
all beings are loved
uniquely
discretely
you keep me

I googled once "places for singles to go to re inspire love"
The first was
A picture of Barcelona, Spain

The art
The water
The food

All fire starters
For the piles of dried up cherry hearts I've been carrying
Underneath my left arm ike firewood thru a forest of faith

Lost, yet somehow on my way somewhere
With a full itinerary

I have scaled mountains with my eyes closed
I have swam oceans holding my breath backwards
Barely upright I have walked the lowest valleys

Breath taking-ly beautiful things scare me
So I close my eyes when I kiss
I hold them monumentally wide when I make love

I am waiting for nothing
I am hoping for enough faith
To freak fear out

I want to love you purely
so I'll get these kinks out before you meet me

In Barcelona xoxo