let _ me
| camp | here
inyourgaze
sleep> there>
on. your. lips.
[wrap-me-up] in your
words & your
^arms^
here's the 'simple' "
#truth;
i can fi\nal\ly breathe
aga**in

it's _ not _ the
worst\thing
this.
beinginlovewithyou
when i stop <to <re <collect
the empt [i] ness
i would otherwise know;
you know ~ i've tried
#others
no | one | fusses |
with ^my^ bangs^
presses>their>shoulder>into>me{lting}
wears those [mydeargod]
thigh - high - BooTs
<like you>
myhands @ yourhips
you trace ~my ~veins
i _ steal _ every kiss
& pray ' for ' time ' to '
stall. there.
just. a.
mo...   men. t.
     *more

Morning walk...you know how I covet
sunrise...and eucalyptus...the damp and
the salt....[oh, how I am drawn to
fishes]...sherbet streaks through a
retreating
dark. A new day...
a new fate...
Mind drifts://colors fade from
sight;...and left with Me...
reaching across a
table; *******...gently
...slowly,... so de//li//cious the
moment...Guide the hair that has
fallen...across your face.. a vague
interruption. ..to our eyes locked in a
stare.  and there is no sound//all light//stillness//eyes
speaking volumes,...eyes have so much to say;in these
moments,..
,,.....In these seconds,... there is and has
only ever been the two of us...you and I in a timeless gaze,...and
...only so slightly aware of the scattering of atoms, stirred by...Me...
reaching across a
table; *******...gently
...slowly...so bound in the
moment...Guide the hair that has fallen....

how I'm ch
                    ock
                            ing. on. it.

her beauty leaves me

         b _  a _  r __  e

<<<<<<suffocated>>>>>>>>>

f ^ igh^  ting for some. will.  to....

          in~~~~~hale

i feel
myself;
inthequiet
& i can.
breathe.
          again.

icantfindthequiet.
even when
it's just the t/a/p/p/ing
of the blinds
& the hummmm mmmm of the fan
there is no {peace}
#peaceful
as _ the _ air _ moves _ across
my body
E. very. cell.
wishesitwere
YoU

Our toes were in the sand,...
when I saw your eyes
...fade
Something in the timing of your...blink
...something vacant in all//that//green
So vivid; the moment//sepia tone Poloroid in
my brain.
...more honestly,...I felt it,... mostly
You had stopped
seeing
///me.
Ohhhhh,... you let~me~love~you
one.more.time.
You rushed in and then.you.were.out.
{how you always liked to
Come
and go}.
And there was little ten/der/ness in it
Your eyes had always pul(owned)led me
in...

Until. that.
Mo/ment
...and I Knew.
It was
over.

.

How she can c
                          l
                           A.
                             i. {havehearditfromthestart}
                              m
All. She. Wants. Is.

toBeLOVE---Ed

How she could have that
^^^^^ 1000 ^^^^         ^^^^ over ^^^^^^
                              times

But in>>>  stead she chooses the ones
who.         don't.

&I;'M stifling a S C R E A M
i'm punching imaginary  |||||  walls

I've  grown weary of BiTinG-My-TonGue, dear
,...oh the blood tastes a b\it\te\r pinch

It's so hard tofeelsorry a-bout
the lessons you've learned, l _ _ ov _ _ e

Because;.... it isn't eno.  ugh

You haven't really OpeneD your I's.
at all,....@

you. know.
just _ how
to bring me
tomyknees
it >must >please >you >so
& you\tease\ it
the-whole-while;
₩** knows. me. so. ₩ell.
i can't "tell" if i even
care 》《to 》《breathe
this {need} is
killing
| me |

on & off
where. does. it. stop.
oh,..how
youknowhowtokissme
,...so _.      slow
&
^^^^^^ in>>>tense
& yet
you
[ insist ]
i'm. not.
what you
#want
even _ as
you
| **** | in your breathe
& gasp your
)>>>release
My tongue; your
Pul - SE;
' ' nails
in my
~ ~ skin.
back/again.
Let{ting} go
,...let me
{in}

I'm sorry my, dear
But you
just
aren't
Her
...I could only give you what's left of my
heart
...Now,...; isn't that a
lo(n)vely
Start...

My regrets, sweetheart..
You look so pretty in that dress,
As I watch you undress...
...and you fit the space in my bed so
Nicely;
...a reprieve from its emptiness.

My apologies, my girl;
I know you want to love me through
tomorrow;
but-that's-just/not/fair.

I feel badly, my darling...
...It's not/your/fault.
She's seeped in my teeth
and nothing tastes.the.same.
...since she's gone...

I'll tell you, beautiful one,
Thank you, for how you
Hold me.
...It's nice here...
But I
just
can't
...stay.
Since September;,...everything
changed.

how >you >love
totiemeIN~ knots
get ^me ^hop^^^ing^
and CUT-ME-OFF
i grew you daffodils
&you;; favorite rose
what's. in. it. for. you.
¡what¡
¿could you want¿
《pull 《me 《 in
shove. me. out.
having me {be sure}
i'm crazy
So C _;oLD
if you are try"ing"""
to make me hate you
it's >[[>[>>working
or ~~maybe, you sense
i love you
most/when/you/say
No
{whoknows}

breathing
through one lung
just fingernails
to hold on
& breaths
& hope
[bitemytongue]
just a
sliver
left,...
choking on
the hollow sound
of
un
done

so,...
tellmedarling
once & for all
¿what does this
mean _ to _ you
if. an//y//thing {at all}
because you
came-to-me
& we were so
raw & 》》yet,
^here
^we
.     #are,..
i feel as f. a. r.    
[from you]
as
| ever | ...

al{one}
with> my >glass >of
w{h}ine
i /fail /to /shed
the "fli""ck"er" '' ' '
of your flame
de _ spite y _ our logic
& my
shame
too. blind. to. see
@light
therewasneverany
~sense~
<to us>
not. really. ever.
&certainlynot;
#tonight

Words that fell so...easily
...now stalled within my mouth.
Our static/electric/con-nec-tion
...faint and all but ground.ed.out.
Violet/crimson/tangerine
...whitewashed to simple gray.
The tension of.the.wanting
...slackened-slip-knot...
given; way.
My head is above^ground^again
...My feet treaded/your/way
Now that you've chosen...n o t h in g
...only scattered letters
....left...to...claim.
The spell...has been/b/r/o/k/e/n.
...You made your point-of-pain;...
you,...so convinced 'defeat and ruin'
...the only outcomes gained.
Your reasons and your why's
{You so clea(n)r-ly cling to fear}
There's a calm...you've...found
....in-holding-on to old love and/old/tears.
Although I tend/to/let/slip ONLY
..what's been torn from my clenched F ist S.
I realize in my heart-break-moment
There.... is.a.certain//...
...Mercy...
...found.../in/this.

spin* ning*
in the wo _ n _ der
all\of\the\words
she. said.
& there; there is her °°laughter°
who can remember a thing
>after
that
¿

that #smile
liGHT me uP!!!
Sssss. Smack. a. grin. all. over. my. face.
<<<sh^^^a>>>>k^^^^^ing>>>>>my head
So_ silly _ I _ guess
{when you talk}
trysohardtohearthewords
While; the.  whole. time
my ¡ head¡  screams¡¡¡

You are s. I m. P. Ly  

the most bE-A-UtifUl

    .girl.....

i just wanted to hold. your. hand.
and sing all the songs
at the top^of^our ^ LuNg _ s
likewedid on a Saturday inthatoldtown#bar

there was a _ space _  in time
minutesandhours
we~so~en~twin~ed
i-finished-your-sentences
while­ you pen//ned/ in/ mine

and the pages of lettersandwords
of love ^and ^loss and ^longing
made our bed & held our hearts
binding-us-together in those thoughts

it was some. kind. of. magic.
only known by those who feelthescore
and hear 》the 》colors and always
always,...in all ways...seek the,.... more

how you touched e\ver\y inch ofmybody
the sweet se^duc^tion of your mind
most in. ti mate experience
beforeweeverevenmet

how I-had-to-have-you
and how you 》gave 》》in
our kissing drew audience
but I neverfeltanyone in the room but you

and I couldn't have your lips enough
how I didn't want. to. stop.
how you>felt^ in^ my >hands
how you ta _ _st _ _ ed inmymouth

& how you went si(gh)lent
how you just c//u//t//me//out
like I was some °°°°cancer;
...as if none-of-it-mattered

where are you now//
i want the girl~that i met
Who told me how I was ****//ing her
...because I knew. what. she. meant.

            all the words we shared

how can you bear to deny it?

How can you bear to deny it, ..

how can you b(e)ar(e) it,...?

I want to feel deeply again,
She had written;
&I; didn't know there was any other wAy;
But then, again that's\been\my\problem
... for. so. long...
She's got some-appointments-to-keep
And I've got >my >miles to walk and. to. Think .
But I im/a/gine a;... time
    maybesometimesoon
we'll meet~on~some~street
& I will know those hazel eyes
...and,... her laugh will recallmyeasysmile
& it will be;
Our time,...

what a thing to;
think.
as _ if_ i _ ever
hadtheguts
[for this]
pour it out》 let her in
swallowed whole &
left alone.
suck it uP
now//now
i know//how
it's my.   own.    ******.
fault.

Can't tell you why I'm up
...exhausted in sleep.
It could be the suffocating heat
the beers I had to drink.
...but you said you'd call...
and I'm thinking of all the reasons I made up
in/my/head,...that I haven't heard
from you in 14 days/2weeks/336 hours...
When we shared so Many Words
{And it meant so much
And I want you so much}
...and you are still spinning prose,...so I know
You are up....
I've waited...to hear from you
...and now I know why I'm up.

I  _ try _ hard
tohidethe scar
you. made. quite. an. impression.
couldn't you have
JuST p》un》ch》ed
all the way ¿through¿
Even a Ga>__<pping Hole
would be  #better
than the gravel that
Still. Remembers.
being ₩hole

¿how to¿
make _ peace _ w/ _ time
<that
bitter sense**
of-the-moments-which
grate\my\bones
<some
end~less~ re~ver~ie
#whereyouare
& if there. are. any.
thoughts> of> me
<maybe
[it's just me]
or may _ be it's }} {obsess}ing
& i'm stuck || stalled ||
<here
my^ hand^ in^ the^ air^
be>gg>ing <[> for
¥our
<scru° tin°   y°

the' min'utes' be\tween
every-minute-with-you
are e. _  ver _  lo .     ng
you ^ra^di^ate
some. kind. of.
°magic°
when /holding/your/hand
isn't
just,.....;
it'severy*single*thing
my<undivided>joy
#touching
= breathing through
my whole 》body
<not just my shoulders>
&afterthesemoments;
time is _ br>o _ >ken
ea'ch ' tick ' of ' the 'clock'
is. not. the. same.
[&me;]
for | ever | chang_ ed
how the minutes@thereafter
}without{
you
linger
some. kind. of.
torture;
too __< long
¿when will we touch
again¿

i  _ don't _ know
whatthisis
i'm calling it,
don't ^know ^if ^it's ^all ^too ^much
or if you _ don't _ know
how. to. love.
enough/ is/
enough
how you come
& go
while i just
stay
,...
 #put

I watched the sun...rise...
Naturally (these,days) my thoughts.... drift.to.her.
~as they seem to do~
orange, and, blue, orange, and, blue,
And I've always had faith in the universe
Knowing the lessons were there...
...Somewhere.
But this time....this one.woman.
《poetinmyheart》
It doesn't seem quite... fair
I wasn't ......l o o k i n g
I did. Not. need.
I/was/con.tent.
being.
How is it that I stumbled upon...her
The path;each step;...cruel shoes
...wonder//how I ever wandered...
...On that road that-led-to-her
I AM NOT this girl...
I don't just.... fall,...
Not.like.this...
Mostly,...--- not. at. all,...
I even told her...how I/don't/think/I've/met my greatest love,..yet
And,..yet....
I'm wounded and I'm b a f f l e d
And feelingsosmall...
...this longing so desparately
For.her.eyes/hands ^smile/voice
...alloverme
And all of it just- a - l-o-n-g - list
Of what-I-
can...Not
--------- have...
.here. I. am.
///Stalled///
...maybe I...can...
feel Grateful {nonetheless}
For f/i/n/a/l/l/y
Feeling... this way
....at all....
Now I know---I CAN...
I guess there is.a.lesson
in ...being...
s/m/a/s/h/e/d/....

Until her...
....I thought I was just...
... broken.

fun//ny how
hazel
made. me. forget.
i HaTe Vegas
just like; auburn
canmakeme
visit _ the _ mall
&thos;; sliver limbs
&dim;;° waist°
}my} hands} fit
perfectly'round
can >make >it >all
make. sense.
all | those | things | i
#neverwanted
&presssedagainstherhip;
just >for>get >a>bout
anything i. thought.
might; matter.
&wh;; cares¿
[let'sbehonest]
what's-so-great
about~wants~anyway¿
& 'when 'she ''trace'''s
the veins >in >my >arms
with her del _i _cate
fingers
just 》go 》ahead
ask. the. cream.
¿if she cares for honey¿

Her loving is wan__ing
...it creeps in
it crawls out...
Who's behind the curtain
...is ta^ng^led in doubt
And it's wr\ench\ing
...and charming
...and beautiful//too
it's all-that-you-wanted
It's all that you knew
...and the more you try. to. fight. it.
The more you only
...lose.

I like to pre _ tend how you
broke. my. heart.
somucheasiertohateyou
But I have your dog
and I keep\ him\ near
While I'm kil'ling' the' h'''ours
sift{ing th{{rough} {{pic{ture{{{s
Still. those. brown. eyes.
make ~ me ~ qui~v~er
& it's not-supposed-to-matter
how you sk》》ip》p》ed away
while my guts tripped.  in _ your _ wake
Ihaveallthoselovenotesinabagnow
along with your; necklace
thank GoD for. the. whiskey.
shots^full^of^forgiveness^

if// only// you// could
Let. It. Go.
youhavesomuch
~~~~ All of you
ripe to be l o v e d
And the songs we could s
                                             i
                                               N
                                                 Nnnng...
Making love>>by reading words
youhavesomuch
but no-one-can-
t _ o _ u _ c _ h
   y o u
& oh. how. i.  want. to.
Sooooo,...now I sit-on-that-throne
....No
o _ n _ e
com^pare^^^s
to
   you
thecomfortyou'vefound
in your dr
               (own)
                      ing》》》》
I saw what>you're>made>of

and;....I know that it-sca//red-you
   you
,...so un₩illing
To Know Your Own
,...w_ o _ r _ th,...

i re __ ally
havebeentrying
you. know.
>> letting> it >go
is just a bit(e) more
than
| starving |
ch\ok\ing
'br''eak/ing
~~peel~~in~g

My legs are growing  ~weary~
walking with these boulders.on.my.chest,...
have to focus on each ^bre{inoutinout}ath^
while I'm spinning to ¤de¤ci¤pher,...
be\tween the right/and\wrong
....and the [s p a c e ] in be-tween,...

I know I fell for you,...but that's no reason
to》hold》 it 》against me,...
even when I held 《you《against 《me,...
it was always the words...
and the s/h/a/r/i/n/g that matter most,...and I just...
wAnt...thAt...AgAin,...

Let's <carve> out a space that is... just//ours
... to share,...
it doesn't have to be what anyone...
... e.x.p.e.c.t.s,...
But the gap_ that's been
>>>left>>>>>>
... by the words-and-wants-we-shared
is a vastness that's haunting,...

...it just feels so... ₩rong...

& i don't want to be heavy
but I'm on.my.knees.now,..
for some words//letters//sounds,...
to make ~sense~ of the beauty
we,...just,... left,....
,
......ontheground

You can't...really blame her;...it was fall
and,...so...she fell...Tripping along through
Clementine and Nin.,,,the sweet seduction
of...this stanza,...these words//yes,..{yes}
I feel it, too/two/to...
Stumbling...through...the
wanting ...to.hear.her.voice,,..//shared//..,,heart
breaking;...with Ray and soaring with Zoe,...taking the
leap..,,///
~There aren't many out
there who care so much about words~...she
so s.t.u.ck. in my head...crash to my knees,...
the{oh ****}landing//that h u r t s
...but the rush,..the way down....the
weightlessness,...short eternal
flight.  Soaring// through space;
...bird
...heart beat.
Counting
time,... it's everything,..and it's everything..to have
a falling heart is to have...
everything...
Every
Thing.

i can't. even. remember.
thelasttime i could
re<mem<<ber
my dreams
¥et
waking 》this morning
{so certain} you had been
here.
i swear i could taste you
on^ my^ lips^
it was how. you. looked.
at. me.
& wh((is((pered that you
had-never-been
kissed
like _ that _ before
andiheldyouthere
& had | your | mouth;
~even ~though
i had. to. wake.
Dear God
it-was-the-most de _ li _cio us
sleep
i've
#known

let. another. one.
》》go
she _ didn't _ slow _ dance
&shedidntlaugh;
[like you]
she didn't drink ₩hiskey
or read #poetry
¿what was i supposed
to do¿
don't-know-how-to-need
what's in 》front 》of 》me
for | however | long | | there are |
stars&divebars;
i'll °keep °looking°
~ for ¥ou

sitting #myfloor
AgaiN
nothing new
THaT. song. comes. on.
《I'm《 back &
| locked |
in ~your ~smile
breathing-you-in
such a love[ly]
re\col\lec\tion
soFuLL
& _ so _
sc'at' ' ter' ed ''
<°in °pieces°°>
all at. the. same.
Ti }me{
the ache = a small matter.
play it; a_gain
(let's)

XY

it's not-the-end-that-i
》》looked for
\but // here we are
there _ is _ some
relief
maybe; i can wrestle back
allthethoughtsinmyhead
that ~have ~been ~so
tAngLeD uP in YoU;
#truth
was _ al.    ways
there. to. see.
but who¿ doesn't¿
yearn for * fire * * works *
[whatever works]
wearealljust
trying-to-get-by
have to wonder what my vowels
& verbs
will. have. to. say.    
. _ . _ . > Now

w/your hands in my hair
who could care
if Venus is on the wrong
side of the moon
{{can't blame us; we are all}}
trying to get closer to you

hand-in-hand-in-hand

we fit so nicely on your hip
i wish i could have
met your mom
let's get in my  car
& not look back
we don't have to call it; love

hand-in-hand-in-hand

when kissing = breathing
¿how can i stop
stare at my beer
while i drink in those
hazel eyes
so happily-happy
suffocating
on the feeling

Swal. Low.  you d.  
                            o.  W.
                                     n

La // pp // ing you u^P^^

it's a slow & steady
  b _ u _ r  _ n

throat
ribs
gut

it's the 《memory》of
your t. o. u. ch
                    {slight of hand}
Oh/o/o
thewayyoualways
come &  _ go//come &  _ go

I'll never really
KnoW// JusT HoW MuCH
I'll pay
     }} in - the - end {{{{
for; such ^a ^lovely ^little ^
cuP

there ^is ^a ^sound
/it makes//
this.  falling~~down~
for you
it's late nights
& neckbites
whiskey
& red lights
it 》 rushes¡ in¡
to | spite | my | head |
co-ntra-dic----ts
the words <you said>
the + count+less+seconds+
since. we. met.
s imply s pent
running laps
toholdmybreath

i'm ch _ o _ ck  _ ing
^On ^It
the glass
lodged. in. my. chest.
you / need / some
' '' '''  time
you're not | ready |
For.
This.
yetmydarlingdearestlove
>ask >ing
this to
#stop
is like [[holding onto]] eels;
& trying to find brakes
is like trying ~to ~chew  ~steel;
& i know you mean
the best sweetheart
& i-know-that-time
₩ill  tell
but the be(   space   )tween
the }now{  & then
    is
simp    ly
£iving
h€ll

just for the record
i always knew how lucky
i was next to you

the image of you
{owns my eyes}
play//rewind》replay
one _ thousand _ times
a [captured] moment
you. laying. there.
Sssssidewaysssss on the mattress
the ~ cur~ve ~ of your ~hips~

dip of your sp.    ne
                           i
a>>>rms>>>
wrapped around
head on my chest
mybreathyourbreathmybreath
[how you] buried¡ yourself¡ inside¡
& i ' am ' stuck ' there,'  / my dear
soblissfully
| con | tent |
time •○ stopped•○
thispicture.   pre _ sides

can't u<n<d<o what's been done
the gap that once- held- a- heart
is bound to a girl
who. wants. no. part.

in the lov\ing and long\ing
that tears me A. p.   a.    r. T.
cause the mind^might^know^better
but there's-no-convincing the heart

De》spite what's better for me
... to be loved and HeldSoClose
how do I [shadow. ]]]]]]  the memory
of what I wanted,... most ¿

Oh, the irony; how I never
really had. her. at. All
still;,.... left alone spinning
I'm left alone //stalled//

this hopeless ro°man°tic°
keeps playing a game I. can't. win.
time can't e《《《rase her beauty;
OR how she seeped in

It's like beating>my> head>>
against the same spite||ful wall
...but giving-up-is-just-giving-in
By God, the re■so■lute should... win

I couldn't make her keep me
been-on-my-knees for_so _long
~    And now. I. see. the
                the writing on the wall ~~~~
It's the same for you now,...as you/want/me
to love you// you want me to fall

& isn't that such a...s  h  a  m  e
why does it have to be\ that\ way¿
So much loving, and, passion, and, good,
        tossed》 to》the 》winds;

...  lostinthe  ...  would/ should...{if only I}
... Could