I know I am in love
when your snores
sound like music

a minute of silence
looking at each other with patience
--we had the most perfect view
on heart avenue
sitting in these seats
where our heartbeats
first meet

you smell like love
thinking that stars are fairies
I wanna hold your hand with no worries

but I'm afraid,
that I might do something crazy


completely crazy,



like fall in love

this is me. this is the girl who is
beautiful
has a perfect family
who boys like
whose family has money
cute clothes
big house
you know the drill...

but i wish.

i am the girl
who is disgusting.
whose family has fallen apart
boys run.
small family business is trickling away like the love that was once there.
fat.
whose mental health was abolished when she was 8.
dreams of giving a family a life she never had.

i want to e x p e r i e n c e.

i want this perfect-sweet-full-of-life-life that i know I will never have with someone that is so far from my reach.
still i reach.