People made me wonder
the blueness of a leaf
as it swung in different reasons
in a tree that is not his

for she thought the wind is better
from the top of the debris
but it was too strong to handle
that the color in it fade

into a pale and bare kindness
the twig's won't speak about
and we all sat around waiting
for the last leaf to give up

by the end of this summer
I pray to the one above
to let it rest, please, gently
as it falls into the ground.

I tried to learn to paint
when my left hand is still bare
with all of the sanctity
that I tearfully held

It cut through my wrists
and my palm, it's ragged edge
still I held onto the brush
as I tried to image paint

For this time they're not lies
my goddess will not cry
for this time I won't bide
to the words my heart commads

So I'll paint, do teach me
how to grip your thorny brush
sworn someday, this forsaken mind
will have a masterpiece in hand

I am sad and angry
So drained and noisy

Exhausted with the tears
Your name chiming in my head

And the void is screaming
"Tell me your vain",

But no, I won't answer
I just stared into it's flame

I want it to touch me
And I want it to burn

With the holy of my water
From deep within my scorn

It was red but lighter
It was blue but thick

And I let it drown me
Till you call back my name

And
I laughed without humor
Cried without tears
My nerves all tingling
As I jump up in the air

I sang without pleasure
I begged without pain
Felt my hands cascading
To these very end

I felt the blade running
From the top of my despair
And I let it slowly touch me
As it cut me till I bled

Small red tablet
I am now drowsy

Small red tablet
I now forget *****

Small red tablet
I am now suddenly happy

Small red tablet
I now forgot what sorrow is