I miss the small town girls,
whose names I have
mostly forgotten,
the games of tag,
the make believe scenarios,
the fun we had.

I miss the star lit chats
that the adults had,
while I ran
with flint rock sparks,
and chased fireflies.

I miss the old campground,
where we would swim
in a small sandy pond,
splashing.
When the older folks
dipped in
they got bitten,
but I never felt
any fish nibbling.

These memories
have been dimming
over time,
plus distance
as I swim in
a different
world,

but I was younger then
playing with other children,
innocent.

I miss those moments.

We are citizens,
victims of a system
of stratification.

We use fiction
to relate
us to them,
women and men,
social programming
for the progress
to do more then
just began again.

While the filthy fat cats
are raking it in
doing more then
making a killing
by selling weapons
made to ****
foreign children,

making profits
off the violence
while calling us
immoral
criminals.

So, we use fantasy
to cross the breach,
break the cranium
so you can see
reality
through
that fictional brew,

and gain compassion
from the stories you read
or the movies you see.

This is the time
to select a brave few
who may follow you
through

you did nothing wrong

i broke my own heart
in believing
you’d be different this time
that you cared enough
to stay

s.s

I want to tell you not to get too close -  Not because I'm worried I will hurt you, but because I'm worried that I myself am hurting you.

Insidiously.

Bleeding you, while I **** me - - Making you suffer instead of me.



I wish silently,  against my will, that you would leave.
Abandon my pretty eyes and see me without my disguise.


I don't want you to have to decide whether, or not, it would be right.

I do not love you as if you were salt-rose, or topaz,
or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off.
I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,
in secret, between the shadow and the soul.

I love you as the plant that never blooms
but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers;
thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance,
risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;
so I love you because I know no other way

than this: where I does not exist, nor you,
so close that your hand on my chest is my hand,
so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep.

When you're cloaked in darkness.
I'll be your lighthouse.
I'll wrap you up tight.
Give you the light.

I always thought constellations were a bit overrated.
Seeing pictures out of stars?
How delusional.
However, that has changed.

The shivering human in my grasp.
The kisses, "I love you"s you give to me.
They're all real.
I can hardly believe it.

I always looked at you.
I knew I needed you.
But I was scared.
I didn't want to hurt you.

I didn't want to engulf you in the black mass inside me.
But the sadness goes away whenever you're here.
So I started needing you more.
Wanting you more.

It was a pounding feeling in my chest.
Made it hard to breathe without you near.
I was scared of being hurt.
But I loved you ever since way back when.

Now when I look at the sky, I can smile.
Because my world is just a tiny constellation.
And you're the biggest star.
Making my world a little brighter.

And I know, when I'm cloaked in the darkness.
You'll rise up above all else.
You'll be my lighthouse.
And let me in.