The inward swarming of my thoughts is overwhelming many times to the point I feel like they are all going in the same direction but cannot find the destination or how to take off. Like bees trying guard their honey when a bear comes for their hive. I feel like the same victim when I compare myself with the ideal portrayed in society. desperately trying to protect something underneath but not being able to keep it together. They slip from their comb into paws. the bees swarm over vacant areas where their used to be sweet things. Where did it go? How do I find it? Can I make more? Is it lost forever? What's the point of comb without honey. Vacancy.

Do you ever hear a song and the melody feels like home. There is one song that always calms my inner buzz. It's like oh there you see, no need for worry. Your melody is this way. Heart. Beat like this. If flyrock 2# isn't playing when I leave this world and arrive at the pearly gates I will be filled with remorse. Because everytime I hear the sound of its melody I go home.

"Your Mac battery is running dangerously low."
It made me laugh that they used the word dangerously.
Just how dangerous could a low computer battery be?
Stall your Netflix watching or your Pinterest spree.
But then I thought about skype calls cut off as a father overseas is watching his baby being born.
Or a start of the wedding march as the bride in white stands adorn.
I started to think about how something innocent can become the most dangerous thing in the world. How the usage of the medium decides the power it stores.
Like a Mac battery being dangerous, another thing which is not to toy.
Three words put together and said in one accord.
"I Love Pizza." is nothing to remark.
But
"I love you." can start a dangerous.
Dangerous.
Spark.

It's funny how something as insignificant like a roll of fat in your mid-section or a lack of a thigh gap can make someone have such harsh judgements on someone.
You could be the most amazing girl in the world, but if you don't have a rockin' *** you will be overlooked.
You can be a complete idiot with a great figure and guys will fawn over you like you are life changing.  

So it's okay if you don't think i'm good enough, or that i'm worth it.

Because i'm going to lose weight this summer, for me. And then you're going to realize I am the whole package. That you can't have.

You will try. Because I now have the body and the brains.
But it will be too late.
You won't be able to get the hotter version of me.
Too late.
You ****.

I just want to be your one and only.
The first one you call when you get lonely.