I sometimes wonder...
          : Why you react the way you do...
Which words were the ones that touched you...
What acts of mine betraying yours...
Hurting your prides...
   : Why do you react the way you do...
I sometimes wonder...

I danced with all my heart
I trained
I learned
I loved
I learned
I lived
Thinking myself a human being
Dreaming myself up
Down and deep beneath
Until that day came:
A fly flew to my mouth
I tried to avoid eating it
Now I wonder:
What the fly?!

Inexcusable.

I tried and failed,
Then tried again, succeeded
Then tried
To do
That which is the Inexcusable good.
It turned up bad,
Which at some times felt very good...
Some others being bad and loud and terrible.

You don't remember yourself? But I Will remember you
I Will remember you,
I must Have loved you.

You don't want to know
Me
As life was bit too hard
Understanding must be hard
They know
They see
And if I saw
I wanted to live
Or believe
Understanding evil wasn't hard
As life was bit too hard

You don't remember yourself. But I Will remember you

No! I didn't see your godly choice to poor me for any of your devils.
Miracles? We must betraying and you must live!
Oh! Lord! But I wasn't such a great hypocrite!!.!

So... How to learn to leave behind that which is the gutter
The gutter nobody wants to see,
Nobody wishes to deal with,
Nobody cared...
How to leave it behind,
As they all want their gutter,
They all need their gutters
To stay the same,
To go to decay,
Real jewels to stop shining,
To make them feel alive and important.
To make them superior and glorious,
Victorious...

No! I didn't see your godly choice to poor me for any of your devils.
Miracles? We must betraying and you must live!
Oh! Lord! But I wasn't such a great pest and a hypocrite!!.!

You let your child starve to death,
You *****, you ****, you awful disease!
You *****, you left home for another ****,
You lousy Mother!
Why did you have to die?!

You helped them feel better about themselves,
You let them invade your home,
Mock you with the Presence of evil...
You helped me say when I could have walked away...
Would that have been better?

You left! You human, you soul...
You had to leave.
Why did you have to **** all my hopes?
You left for that better world,
You had to pass but your memory's still there,
In my heart, brought to my mind,
From time to time...
You had to go away...
And I had to learn how to say goodbye.

You had it!
The decency to come out clean
Say what you aren't!
Admit it to the face!
To da' face! To da' face!
Yes, you had it!
You have it!

The decency to come clean,
Out spoken the truth from within...
One must accept, one must survive!
In the spirit of a brain
Having all that it can take
And it can take you coming out clean.

You have it!

In this moment, sour
Of a loved hour
That's our
Moment of power
And hope
Killed in a forever song
Resurrected with a ****
Long
A sound opening the door
For a second act...
That second act we will all know
As your own,
An owned moment given to react
To a tale's flow
Pact
Made with the devil to stay wrong,
With God to come back to your senses when the bell rung
As you wish
For a third and last song
To be sung, dance
To be danced, ****
To be long
Forgotten in a long hour of hope,
Loved power
Given with a moment of sour rope.

Or go and live in Hell...

Light
Burning bright
Tears shining
From within

Love
What have you done?
Picking up fun,
Enjoy your laughter.

Trains
Oh dearest
Why would you attack me?
Enjoying your sorrows?
Good,
You're probably not wrong.

Faults? : always somebody else's!

I Lied to you
And everything went just perfect from then on!

Graces open,
Loud sound of your feelings
Telling me nothing
I need to know

For your need to be heard
Is so much greater
Than anyone else's.

For your need to be known...
For your need to be alone...
For your need to be together...
For your need to be... to be...
For your need to be happy..
For your needs....

I am only too happy!

Of the same story,
The same depressions
Still, thankful for not going through the worst?

So long with my poetry,
So long with all our words,
So long with our wishes, plans and goals...
So long with the winds and the charms
And all the work we've done...

So long, with everything we ever loved.

The artist for you is a sin,
Well, then I am quite everything!

"If I died... Would that ensure your happiness, my love?
'Cause I' d die for you..."


Why are you here?
To make me stay and wander again what righ or wrong?
What should I do?
And why?
To make me feel much worse for I still have to obey
The ugly rules of a yesterday I wanted forgotten...
A past nobody wanted.

Why are you here?
What do you want?
What is your purpose in life?
You ruined it.

What's wrong?
Am I still annoying? Still here, existing, doing,
Saying something, struggling
Easily!
Pis-Pis-******* you
Like a **** in boots,
Like a star, like a rock taken down from the Mountain,
Like a river of black
Pain
Like a peacock lost for the vain
To keep taking, keep nurturing,
Keep saying something... worth being told.
Rain
Like a piece of cotton-candy thrown to the blue halo
Space embraced saying that I am ******* you
Like a ****-Bussed-Rouse,
That home-made cookie you poisoned
Then threw to the garbage.
Now Make it good.


"If I died... Would that ensure your happiness, my love?
'Cause I' d die for you..."

I'm losing my good common sense every day,
It's perfect like this as I couldn't be okay,
Everything right, everything fine,
In my life ordered so well.
Don't you love when things fall into place
And everything is just okay?

When there's love to find and keep,
Keep it!
And when you know that you have to do something,
Do it.
If it brings Hell on earth the purpose must be greater than you think...

Only if love, but love got Hurt!
Too Hurt to care too much for your ship and sheepish friends...
"What about Gold?" She asked.
Let's help a world...
How to help when you are down
And what you call Angels are dead people who weren't around...
Dead people who weren't around but for your failures,
Your failures to start meaning something for that world you loved...
As there was love... And love got hurt
And forgot about how good it feels but remembered
The human needs
And the beauty that came out of those heavenly dos and dons and deeds.

What are you made of?
We're nothing but things made... Of something that can fly away
One day, deserting
This cursed flesh.

I am surrounded.

In my imagination
I am surrounded by your love,
In my imagination I'm only too deserving
To love and to be loved!
There is no better gift
On Earth or elsewhere...

In my imagination there's nothing to be blamed for,
In my imagination we didn't do anything that bad
Because I simply can't remember....
I can't remember... destroying your heart...
With an ugly truth I couldn't take,
You wouldn't listen
And that is good... You were only a child...
And I was only too weak a human;
I tripped and fell,
Told you only of the good lies out there,
The ones we all fight for:
Money, love and Fame!

Fantasy to blame here.
Fantasy.
To be blamed the fantasy...

I let you see!
I let you know!
I let you enjoy...
We laughed together but we both know,
We wanted the best out of it,
This life!
It is as simple as that.

In my imagination I know only of love,
That love of pure and beauty that doesn't stink on the skin,
Does not come from the filth within
On which I keep adding more and more...
Each day more...

Filth that I spice and cook well,
Filth that I season and make smell and look good, taste good until...
Time runs it stale then adds what it takes to make it dry or putrid.

What air can inspire this life we have taken!
Every day
Trusting my inner swarming monsters to eat all filth,
Dead or alive.

In my imagination there can be only good,
There's only the accomplishment of our dreams that were always too pure
(pure filth is how I feel now. A cruel talk on purity, I know)
I'm sorry, my Child, I tried it all...

In my imagination there is no blame to feed
And if I am that blamable
I Will just proudly take the guilt!
In my imagination we didn't do that bad,
It could have been too wonderful
But I couldn't remember all that.
It is as simple as love, sweet love!
Salty and well spiced love
Burning just right.

As simple as that
My heart given to you
As I loved you for all the light you brought
Coming tears and laughter of joy
Or clouds cluttered with blight.

It is as simple as that!
In my imagination I escaped an ugly past
Coming with some magic within that couldn' t last,
My brain was stronger,
For this I won't regret
All the **** and rescue made.

In my imagination I managed to be
That good wife, that good Mother,
And Yes, the Lover your dad needed... I needed...
We were so young...
We sinned,
We lived in a perfect dream
(for each heart a loving dream)
For each heart a loving dream...
That's how we brought you in our lives...
We wanted to know true love
You... The miracle, the reason to keep being alive!

The treasure under our eyes.

As if your thirst for cruelty
Weren't enough,
Others had to test their muscles too.
Leave some marks of reality that's only too meaningful.
Feeding my own thirst to become cruel.

As if your thirst for knowledge wasn't enough...
Well, it wasn't enough.
It is never enough,
We're set on discovering,
Learning.
Feeding my thirst to become cruel
With your own cruelty.
You hate a child, you hate a Mother,
You hate your life.
Find your reason for all that:
It wasn't too evil, just right.
Whose right to fight? Everyones, perhaps I didn't know.
But let's make a miracle,
From your end you may be mocked,
As we all mocked... We all laughed
At the great.

And we all learned, and we all did...
And there is a screen for your thirst of blood and cruelty,
If you want some more tragedy.

Was it your choice? Was it implied?
Was it by force?
Was it a chance? Was it a life
You set yourself to lose?.

I don't want to see you
Because you didn't ruin my life.
It's probably this the answer,
It's probably this...

The famished are looking for ways to make it,
Were you famished when you stole what was mine?
Were you famished when you ruined my soul?

Were you?

Life gives and life takes
And life offers.

I am today thankful for being able to make
Of this chance a life to be treasured.

You don't want my life.
You want only what came out good of it!

An may it be not ******!

gods and ironies
                  sublime the fantasies
                                                      e­merging.

Told me what you wanted from me

There is a festival in the world,
Running in a past based on this Word,
My soul speaks in tongues,
It burns and it aches,
And it tells the story she knew as a friend.
Maybe I found a friend in a notebook,
Maybe I didn't listened to a prayer,
I wanted them to be all too stupid and happy again,
Felt hurt when they had to be mean to each other.
Felt hurt when they had to leave
But it was okay,
Everything better when they became friends and partners again.

She was just a kid looking for some fun
In her life, something good to be lived,
Something to believe in:
One Day she will get there... She'll reach her ideals.

But it wasn't for her, it was not for her...
It was not for me but for the family who had it all...
I probably had it all...

Why can't she have it and I Have it...
"Still a kid?
Good girl",
Just like a ***** knowing it all:
It could be that we both had our good lives imagined,
Wished for, worked for...
Idiotic kid.

Keep hoping for a miracle.
"You either dance the way I say or else..."
Shhh... It was supposed to be some kind of a secret!
"In which ******* world?"
We're here, confessing it all.

Listen to your good parents,
Take a good advice to take,
If the worldly means won't help you
You will find wisdom in the straight stand of a tree,
A whiff of inspiration will be given,
You're still find your way.

I should hope so...

Be there
Where I belong
Where my heart belongs and craves for belonging.
There where I can be shaped
To the meet of my spiritual craving.
There, where the unbearable is sent or taken
To where it belongs.
There, where duty won't dishonour nor vex
no hurt...

Matter what we do...
              What we want to...
                                            In the end...

Then you can bomb the whole world.
                I stopped caring.

When will I
Get over myself?

One doesn't have to take any awful blame
And they don't have to live in shame,
No shame... No, no!

You hurt me deeply, I confess
Uh, Uh! My mistake! 'Twas my mistake!
In this world not finding a place
Uh! Uh! My bad ugly mistake!

You attacked I countered you
And put you down, almost killed you,
Uh! Uh! My bad, bad ugly mistake!
Please! Pardon me!
(but only if you can)

Now I' m a raven, I'm a crow, I'm the unwanted in your home!
Uh! Uh! My bad, finally true!
Please, pardon me!
I won't ***** you! I'm much better than you!

You Hurt me really bad
Out of confusion, out of your sad sad days...
Oh, oh! My bad!
Have all your days happy or sad,
I'm out of this!

The young because you're Old and ugly
And the young hate you for reasons the same.
I am ugly.

For what?
Oh! It is good to know.
Have a nice... some

Burning all your lies
Well told
For the sake of my brain!

To be honest, I couldn't hate you more,
Still, life is life and We're supposed to learn
From evil how to be more evil,
The proud how to be prouder of the worst they make of anyone
They want to break,
To take
And have responsible for their make
Of ugly doing
Hatred despair.
One hates another for what the other one has
And loathes themselves.

To go to a **** is too kind for me
Therefore I'm afraid I Will have to exploit other opportunities!

If I trust you
Then you trust me
And you trust nobody
But I end up trusting everybody
Because of your lack of trust
In me who trusted you

Nothing

If I say I trust you
Then you say I don't...
And I don't say I didn't
But you proved me wrong
So I can be right for a change...
But the change lies in the will
And my will said I didn't...
No, I don't, I just don't...
I can finally trust you.

Caring
Taking me to hell
Where I learn how to be mean
'cause caring is such a sin!

Caring
Such a beautiful sin
Only the devil knows how to begin paying...
Praying for a soul lost
For all these gods and goddesses spitting their importance back at me...

Sent to Hell,
Better taken away...
I wish I could invoke Persephony here
But she was too pretty,
Too beautiful a mind-****,
Where...?

I need a job,
A face do, a good one!
I tried to operate but I failed!
'Could see a lot of darkness in my shell
Where some errors had their shine Poured over you.

I'll make myself presentable.
I promise...
Tried a couple of face dos...
Now I' m again, too ugly.
I Have to go to school.
Maybe I'll learn the operation to help me have the right face for this...
Business....
I promise...
I'll make myself presentable.

We sang some strange songs together,
Climbed a mountain or two,...
Asked for more brains...
To Fry...' cause the heart... Oh well, the heart turned to stone.

But under the moonlight of a Starry night
The heart started to glow
and the stone prepared the hearth
for a brain to work
And I fell in love with both.

I fell... Fell for the image of your soul,
For the sound of your voice,
For the petals of ruined flowers for the sake of our short romance
On this Earth.
I even kept a few of those **** carcasses of the roses you brought home.

The perfect way to remind one where we go.



*The vase took a few notes from the falling petals of lilac killed with the light crying its rusty Whites and Mourning violets on the table cloth from where a few eternal motifs sent to eternity a moment of love between lilac of White and violet touched by a noble red rose.

I am tired
Of everything
They want
But that is life
If they want to they may live.
I already know what a problem all this
Isn't.

You regret being born
                                                which means
                               I
                                                with regrets
Made a great mistake.

To have for somebody
Is to do whatever they want
Shut your mouth
Speak when you're asked
Then be accused and ****** up
For what you said or didn't say...
Well I said and did everything.

Oh, but I couldn't see,
I Couldn't see the loser you made of me!
I couldn't feel, I didn't know the worst you can make of me!
Oh, but I didn't fight, no I didn't learn,
And for what?
To have a laugh in my face or behind my back...

Oh, I couldn't see what was going on,
I Couldn't realise the tool you made of me
For what?
I Have no clue, no, no...
It wasn't too embarrassing nor cruel.

Oh! I couldn't see, nor hear, nor feel.
I couldn't,...
Can't
...
No more.

Is to take care of your business...

Doesn't everybody want the same thing?

Couldn't you just (and justly)
Live well in your world
And I in mine?




!