One day
One day I’ll feel normal again
A new normal
Without pain
But with feeling
Peace
Like that night
Sitting in the middle of the road
Moon half concealed by clouds
Feeling nothing
But everything
I don’t want that
But I do
I need that serene feeling
Of being alone
While simultaneously
Hearing their voices drifting
One day
One day soon
I’ll feel alright

I’m not the person I used to be
Something changed that night
Something snapped
I don’t like touch
I don’t care
I don’t talk as much
Enthusiasm is forced
Talking is hard
Sleeping is worse
Something changed that night
Not for the better

I’m never kidding,
When I say I need humbling.
Life goes too good for too long,
I get too popular winning at too much,
That I forget what it feels like to lose out,
And I risk everything.
It’s so silly,
Complaining about succeeding,
But sometimes I miss the days I wasn’t on the radar yet.
Because now that I have so much,
My vision is fogged by greed,
I forget how to treat the people that brought me here.
I never learn,
Until I lay askew and burnt,
When my luck runs out.

It’s not magic.

Every July 31st is cold and rainy,
Since 2025.
Every July 31st,
At 2:30 on the dot,
I get a new flannel.
It’s been that way,
Since 2015.
Every July 31st,
Has left me waiting for a change in tomorrow,
Left me wanting to live on,
For an unpredictable August 1st.

Plum ripe from windowpane
Meets enamel

Two drops
Blood-red juice

New shirt
Baptized

There’s a mist on the water,
When I wake.
It gets thicker every morning,
Creeping a little farther into shore.
I spend my days now,
Moving my house,
Further up.
Trying not to drown,
In the inevitable gray.
It’s one of those things you don’t escape,
It’s one of those things that never goes away.

It rests,
Slumbers for a while.
But never stops,
Creeping up.
So close to me,
I fear that I’ll run out of energy,
To run,
To escape.
I’ll die in this foggy place,
Join the sirens with their frowns,
Dragging more people,
Down.

To the fog.

I'm just that pawn, you never noticed.