What's there to say?
I sit here waiting,
Waiting for something.
A thing that doesn't know it way
Or maybe it's me who doesn't.
Hopeless, Restless,
I stay,
For that one day,
That everything will be better.
But I know
Nothing changes, if nothing changes.

Someone once told me;
"Writing is a lonely experience"
It really is
No one sees you toiling away at night
Fighting the demon of anti life
as he tries to make you end it all
No one sees how much thought you put into one word
As you alight your tired mind trying to predict how this will impact your story
No one sees your many hours of work tearing away at research while fighting the demon of madness
No one sees your dreams and aspiration to be the best
And when they do you become a golden rag
Used to clean the fat cats dark mouth
No one sees your endless night trying to organise your ideas into fantastic world and when they do they link it to something unrelated
No one sees how you slowly lose yourself to the unrhythmic assonance associated with the unrelated
No one sees just what you're trying to portray as they have to interpret their own meaning
No one hears the click-clack of the keyboard that slowly hypnotize you into oblivion
And if you finally finish you hate it

What have I done?
On my quest to gain power,
I killed someone,
Someone dear to me,
And not just one,
But multiple people that existed only in me
Died with my act,
An unforgivable one.
The setting sun
Unleashes it's red glow
Further highlighting the blood on my hands
The wind howls, mourning;
A trait I have forever lost

I look back back to my villa
An haven big enough to feed the world
To fulfil every and all desire and needs
Forever keeping them happy
But to me, it's a monument to what I did
It will never fulfil my one desire.

I wish mother was here
I still remember the last time I saw her
She was smiling, that genuine smile I've always loved
Even as her body deteriorate
I worked so hard to save her
But I failed.
Now, this is the only memory of her that's left,
The rest died with him,
That happy child,
So full of wonder, curiosity,
Knew what it meant to live in the moment
To be genuinely happy,
To genuinely love and care for others without thinking of ulterior motives
To.....to......to just....be
But I will never feel that again

On my quest to be independent
To grow up
To be for me and me alone
What was nurtured in me for years
All the memories and emotions engraved within them
Gone, in the blink of an eye

A stand here amidst the haven I built to be my happiness
But all it does is remind me of my state
Dead, cold, and unfeeling
Forever cursed to be soulless
A cold unfeeling monster