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I bear joy rooted in trust
In the trustworthy.

I draw strength from depths
That never run dry.
Not joy in anything temporary
Outside my window,
planted is a fiery red-
branched tree,
I watch on, it stands bold
and oh so elegantly.
I try to imagine if it were a woman
What would her appearance be —

Would she be in one of Dali’s paintings
‘Woman Aflame’?
Would she be ‘Demelza’ in Poldark’s series?
Or would she be a spirit woman
ablaze for all the world to see,
Your creation and Your infinite beauty?
What flourishes,
in a painting,
illustrated
flawlessly
left
to dust
in an attic?
I know what it feels like
To be
pushed,
hit,
Kicked,
laughed at,
to feel worthless
to be told to **** myself
to be late to class just to avoid my bullies
to ask teachers for help and not get help
I hate to say it but if I had the chance to make them pay for what they did, I would
I don't understand why anybody would feel the need to push someone past their breaking point. I have been bullied before and everybody told me to forgive and forget but it's my choice so what if I don't want to forgive and forget.
Some nights I go down memory lane
Where I don't like to be,
I go there because flashbacks come back,
To the point where I'm in tears
I don't like to cry,
But I can't help it.
When I do end up crying,
It's too late.

On a cold January day,
I was abused
Bad
In school,
In the bathroom,
In the handicap stall,
I was left there to cry,

When I told the police,
It was too late,
Way too late.
They couldn't do anything because it was way too late.

Since then,
The last 2 years,
I've been bullied,
Harassed,
Physically and online

Not to the point where I wanted to do self-harm
But I've thought about it,
Several times.
i run home once again broken hearted
school was horrible as always
i get made fun of for my face
my arms my size having no chest
being too small
having too many questions
not being nice to anyone
now that one has me laughing
ever scince i came to this school
none of you were ever nice to me
what makes you think i would be nice to you
my middle school experiance guys it does get a little bit better
I stand in the middle of the room
My classmates are commanded to listen to me
I am the 14th person to present and so far, everyone has done a good job

I stand in the middle of the room
I begin to saw the name of my project
“My Poem”
I cannot remember what it was about
I do remember, what I felt

I stand in the room,
Hoping that everyone feels what I felt when I was writing it
I felt excited, my stomach had ‘butterflies’ I think
I felt the heat in my heart and the cold on my shoulders.
I felt the tingles all over my body, and the air escaping me

I stood in the middle of the room
I stand in the middle of the room
I was in the middle of the room and said
“My poem”
I heard a chuckle.

I ignored it because the ‘in love’ heart in my chest was more excited than It should have been
I continues and my voice began to play tricks on me
And the r’s rolled and the words were suddenly in another language
My mind still ignored it and continues
Because I felt I could write, and read this and everyone could love it

I stood in the middle of the room,
I waited for the, applause, the smiles, the congrats, or even a simple ‘good job’ like everyone else
Instead…
My teacher said, work on pronunciation. She said it again. Pro-noun-ci-a-tion
Ok. ‘Work on grammar.’ ‘Work on sentence structure’
“Work on being American” the chuckle said
Or the person who chuckled?

It didn’t mean much, you know
I loved writing so much that it did not matter
I would be a writer, I would continue to
STAND in the middle of the room and share my talent
And when I did, he chuckled
She chuckled, I was Mexican

Not a writer. Writers can’t be Mexican
Unless you write in Spanish and in Mexico
But I was too American for that at this point…

SO the next time I wrote I was ashamed,
Maybe if someone else wrote my writing?
But it didn’t matter,
When the teacher began reading,
The chuckle reminded the class it was the ‘Mexican’ who wrote it

“Mi nina” My mom would say
She reminded me that no only was I Mexican
I was a woman,
Only men thrive in this world
I believed it
And that is why my name is ‘The Voice’
Not my actually name,
Disclosure: I accept criticism on how to better my writing
NOT on what to write or on my background
Thanks, for a lesson I will never forget:

I make my own destiny!
I hide the feelings
I can’t let them see
The perfect little girl
I can never be

I’m all broken inside
I really want to cry
It’s getting difficult to cover
No matter how hard I try

My days get longer
And my feelings hurt
The pain gets stronger
I wonder what my life’s worth

They start to notice
The scars are there
They try to help
But all I feel is fear

But darling remember
I have to try show them feelings
Try let them see
That I can’t be the perfect girl
That they want me to be
The hallway seems longer, you try not to hint at the darkness creeping inside your vision, or the judging orbs turning around to face you.

Soles of your footwear trudge upon the tile floor, each step calling them to sink their teeth into your soul.

Their bites leave scars, eternal memories of the fights that happened on the battlefield.

Continuous barks and snarls poke and **** your ears ceaselessly, keep moving.

Your locker bent and dented, the countless repeating pounces
and slams coated the rusted metal door.

Turn around, SLAM, laying on the floor covering your ****** head, a coward.

Howls of laughter sound, they circle around waiting for an opportunity to finish their hunt.

Don't attack, but surrender,
too scared to hold your ground.

You’re weak,
You're useless,
You're stupid,
You're ugly,
You're worthless,
You are nothing.

Each word, every growl, added to your collection of everlasting pain no remedy could cure. Look up one last time,

Bystanders watch like stiff oak trees in the forest, acting
with the current of the wind, bending at will, standing there as an innocent life is taken
by the hands of the vicious, heartless predators.

But the only thing learned is they are the wolves, and you were their prey.
I wrote this poem based off of what feelings I had about bullying, about how I see them. They are wolves they hunt you down until you can't breathe. I've been bullied all my life so I let my feelings out.
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