Give up on her because you know friends aren't meant to fall for each other.

Leave her alone because you know that she can do so much more better.

Sever the emotion at the root so you can feel better about yourself.

**** the love you feel.

When she told me, that I was more than this.
I fell again, and again.
I felt like I existed again.
A year shed off the veil, a dear shied off the vial.
And I heard the fire spring loose from within, a subtle grinding of gears I stopped, for fear of straying. For fear, of the pangs coming back.
I've never been kissed in that way.
The split second I felt the world sway, I just had to get more of it.
But it wasn't a real kiss.
Not one I'd dare to take anyway.
It was like Morton's Fork.
I still know, even if I run from this, one day it'll be found out anyway.
A hunger pang for the prong she bought into my life.

the hunger we all know, the hunger we supress without much success.

the moment I knew I had to stay away.
But I couldn't.

Love after all
Is the spark that falls
And ignites
Ashes long dead

I'll draw the curtains as many times as I need to.

Your ghost is still here.
But while I'm still here,

I'll walk off into the dark side of the moon.

To reconcile with myself,
What I lost when you swept the floor with your ashes.

Wicked
  Vile
   Temptress

Only she was never at fault.


*you were

Tonight his senses are dulled,
Perhaps from the morning rain to afternoon dew.

The hat he wears, to further cancel out the tunes he feels bleeding into his psyche.

A flower blooming on the battlefield of love, of dance.

He numbs himself further.

Only now is he whole. Complete.

Music and video flash past his eyes and ears, enveloping within the eye of the seer.

The poet lays his writ to rest.


It is going to be a month of perdition, after all.

I who have become the last thing I wanted to be.

What use is it if a man gains the whole world but loses his soul?

Here's to us, you and I.

My downward spiral with your black hole sun.

*I'll trail my fingers down your skin so you can grasp my lips in yours. Excoquere et ego vobis, mi amor.

Replace your breath with mine.

It's the last thing I want on my lips.

Come into my arms

Against my chest, wrapped in my embrace

Nothing seems to matter now.

Through repeated patterns, a sense of familiarity

Rummage we did, through our own senses and emotions

Inside yesterday, we found today.

Perhaps, even today will be worth it for tomorrow.

I have been sleepless, admittedly.

The crawling chaos of unrest, unrestrained.

The mind, slithering out of view.

The heart, brittle and whole.

The bodies, sleeping in the loch.

Extinguish the me

To find the you

Cremate the when

To nourish the now

Cherish the moments

Embrace the life you have.

There's a hole in my heart where you left, walked out on me with the best thing that's ever happened to me.

Will I bite the hand that feeds?

Not quite, I believe.

The grief follows rage, like remora with the sharks swimming along.


Swallow the pride and continue fighting.

The ache of always looking for someone to complete you.

When you know you're not all that whole yourself

<Twang> ; went your yearning, the strings of your soul.

Til when, does your heart have to wait?

the lady in red
brings succulent lips
pursed around porcelain

the lady in red
brought voracious lips
wrapped around her digits

the lady in red
bringing seductive lips
clinging around pulsing veins

The feelings.. best not show them.
I gotta find my fix.
There I go, total blind march of the pigs.
Hey, I got another ******* high score.
I'm the best aren't I?
That feels good.
I saw her again.
**** **** **** better find my fix WHERE THE **** ARE MY EARPIECES
Oh God that feels so much better.
Mmmmghh. Feels like ***.
Haha, what a funny video!
****, is it about *****?
****** ****, wanna get ****** up?
I'm home, again.
Where is my fix?!
My phone's got to charge?! Useless *******!
*******! Pick up! OH YOU DON'T WANT TO HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH ME ANYMORE?! *******! *******!
I DIDN'T MEAN TO GET SO ******* ANGRY
****
GOD I'M SORRY
DON'T ******* WALK OUT ON ME
DON'T LEAVE ME!

And if takes a lifetime to hold peace,

And if you teach me what it feels like to be home once more,


I'm happy with what we have.

After the genocide was done,
I decided to remove myself before I was incriminated.

No one could know of the premeditated sin I had prepared, as all the outcomes led me to this tearful separation.

Least I could do, was to ease the transition.

I gazed stoically upon the wasteland I created, one last time.

I'm only human, to leave.
Adorned with a crown with cracked gems and black gold.

There were no more words to say.
The gears rusted over, for their own good.

No words to collect,
Cause they lubricate.

It's getting a little crowded in here, don't you think?


I can only have so many colours and voices in my head telling me what to do.


Ego, id, superego.

Eis.


Her body reminds you of a far off distant memory that screams of lessons


Of the separation when the day you discovered lust


Of the discord that kissed you when you were left with no one


It's impossible not to feel anything

So let the waters carry you off.

Let her presence not be an eldritch one, but a welcome one.

Rise, ghosts of yesterday.

Show me the way so I might conquer tomorrow.

Whisper, dark forests of today.

Tell me the way through the fog so I might pass through unscathed.

Return, legions of tomorrow.

Stand by my side so I might seize the day yet.

Now repeat after me.

This is not the end of me, this is the beginning.

At first you saw it was nothing.
And then you had to believe it was something.
And at long last, it became every little thing you didn't see coming.

distancing oneself from the tell-tale signs

of morbid fascination with you

like thy myth

the rousing rumour you sell

hapless I am

entwined, I'm still.

Flowers bloom
On graves unattended

Reading from musty tomes

And as I swept the leaves away

Your bones, so yellow and cracked over.

Bending over to kiss the stone

Tracing your eternal sleep

I could have sworn I saw you holding
The most beautiful bouquet growing
From your bones.

Well.

Almost a year anyway.

I'm not quite sure if my mental strength is eclipsed by the sheer exhaustion just merely existing and trudging day by day.

I'm tired of these circles.

I step out of one to get swallowed by a bigger one each time.

Here I find myself retreating physically into smaller and smaller spaces, my mind growing too big for its own good.

How does it feel to have patterns traced on your flesh, never realising that the more you push

The more you slip

You spin around in patterns in a frozen monument to your failures

These numbers and figures didn't speak as loud as my heart.

Everyone's at my back, pushing me forward.

It's true what I heard then.

I can't be left alone.

This will happen again and again.

The flesh remembered the skin being tugged away

The mind remembered disarray

The soul going back to a long winter


Pull me back to land.

Slithering snakes obscure view,
Aching with need, want, desire.
Her fingers trace, knead, embed themselves in mine.

It's the disquiet that follows.
Aching burning crying deep within.


It is just something simpler than what you usually find,
The bliss you find,
When you're all out of time.

Her spindly fingers bothered me.

There I was, glaring from across the tables, teeth chittering with naked desire.


Her smile, coated with red, as the red line opened, closed with pearly white.


Picking them up like a graceful crane, and consigning them to a shadow realm I hungered abashedly for, from a corner.

Piping hot, the meat slid across her lips, proposing a grimace of both pleasure and annoyance.

Little by little, the whittled crisps went down too, with the yellow of the sun.


I really need some ******* chips now.

We're decaying, defeated by promises and kisses long gone.

a drive to find peace
a need to be whole

the heart understanding a feeling
the mind fumbling for meaning

this is vicious
what was private emotion
is now exposed

Indeed, there is no question
Whether their tunes start again.
This time, they all halt.

Because it hurts,
Because you can't anymore.

You're done with tears.
I'll have yours instead.


For I can't shed any.

Faith is not enough when the heart sings of lovelier times.
The heart must bask in the spray of the shore
To come back, dripping of taste and understanding
Faith would be enough
If faith could be wielded like the sword
Or cradled like a child
But faith must be supplemented by action, by deed.
I have faith in you.

Despite what you've heard, I'm not quite dead yet.

You might've erased all good in me,
But like how the sea always met the shore,
I'll still be here.

You no longer remind me of anything.

I'll kiss the winter flowers.

To write your name in frozen hours.

Long winter in hearts into brittle flowers.


Our eyes are blind, but we can still see, can't we?

I am of little faith.
You have taxed yourself, time & aggression wearing your soul down.
We have still a long way to go, my darling.

Have faith in me.

It's a sad realisation,

You've pruned your own branches so that you wouldn't choke and die from stretching too far.

You're becoming ash,

You're becoming an effigy.

To your own cycle that you stepped out from.

the wine spills
soft whines to no avail
fake rhinestones scatter into debris
love, wry and wrought,
wracked with distraught.

The first flame slowly flickers out.


No other source of illumination burns.


You gather kindling, desperate to find some sense of security.


The security light brings.


Ash begins to gather on your face.


Forming your very visage, only frozen in place.

The mask of undeniable terror.

Sun blazes down on the back of morons

Wind tears posture off their feet

Fighting for a foothold on what will never be, will never appear.

We feel so bad. We're feeling so terribly out of    place

So we
          sink

               Deeper
                 Harder


There is a macabre beauty in not knowing :
Becoming apprehension machines.

I don't know.

How lucky I have it.


Should I?


Thinking positive thoughts,

Thinking of positivity, without thought.


What will this hunger give way to?


Is this lubricant for the gears of future mechanical dice to roll?


I'm an empty box cut out of ash, of killer queens and suns long set.


I'll gather what I can.

Even burnt out, I am more than I was before.

A spark that explodes

The touch that withers

Fires that never die off

Kisses for eyes that close forever

Feet that lose their rhythm

Salves that never heal

Prayers that go unanswered

Justice that is never served

Hate destroying all we have dear

Her body writhing to the rhythm of unconstrained lust

Imbibed of her soft growls and ragged moans

My own mind travelled : Their bodies/ Shuddered in his embrace
Enraptured by bliss
Lapping up his bounty

Fire, fire everywhere again.

It all burns away in his mind.

That old familiar feeling.
Flooding back, in tunes you never knew could exist in the space it took for a breath to begin and a sigh to end.

Lightning arcs across your brain, the scars lighting up, rearranging themselves in ****** gold runes.

It's a happy noise.
It's a good noise.

The background rises and falls, in perfect harmonic distortion.

Sitting here with heartache

Heart's gone bleeding all over again

Over again and I've never felt so sad

Feels like heart's gonna crack wide open

Wide awake again wondering about you


*Please leave a message after the tone.

The grim look he gave me was more than enough,

The time ticking down never felt right.

Dawn came, only that it wasn't soon enough.


His soft purring would never be heard again.

Your lipstick stain remains on my collar.
Abstract chaos and unquenchable desire stampedes through my veins.
Every breath I take, I suppress this raging impulse to make you swoon, to mark you.
If it was yesterday that made me feel this way, and tomorrow is uncertain, submit as I devour your entirety in my hollowed-out soul.
Perhaps in this cruel mood, this sublime harlot will drown all other thoughts.. save the ******.
The listless fervour, new dew sticky, gumdrops amongst the humdrum.
Inexplicable thoughts short out and fizzle out as the waves from the shores all too familiar
smash again and again.
 Hiccups turned into gasps as measuring standards disappear into a place where electricity takes over.
When the cold days erupt into gardens of dead roses long thought lost amidst secret gardens for a blissful moment where ****, famine, scars and hope all implode for a single moment.
Alas, it is but a single moment, subsiding oxytocin as we turn and face away, and I leave the deed on the dresser.
To walk away and repeat another day, just not with this almost lover.
Shrug it off and return back to your 9 to 5.

Can you blame me if I need your fingers tracing down my spine again?

I've gone too long, fallen too hard to make sense where I end and you begin.

I pay more attention nowadays to the air escaping my teeth between each word I speak,


To the soft crackling, in the dark.

The best thing you can do today is tell someone you love them.

We're stuck with words in our throats, never admitting how we feel.


Let it go before it's too late.

Dance. Or rather the lack of it.

Do it, because you want to, because you need to.

And all the sounds you were looking for,
And all the taste your tongue lost.

Surrender power to desire.
Translate desire into longing.

Crank it up, swallow her voice, digest it and nurture it.

You know what you want.
You know what you are.


We are one.

Grabbing it all by the hair,

Suspending your belief that it could even happen in the first place.

Ah, a beautiful explanation is due, isn't it?

I'm afraid there's none.

It's your fault.

It's always the eyes that get me.

For a walking black hole of emotion,

I sure keep swirling back to them.

When it's all said and done with,

I've become one of the unthinking majority.

The bones ache again.

Can't seem to dislodge this knife in between my spine, either.

**** this*

For the next chump, the next line of idiots after me.

I hope you don't tear your hair out with her.
I hope you don't mind the mess she makes when you think everything is tidy.
I know you will, definitely attempt to change things around for her.
I know you will, definitely sigh in frustration as your efforts all go to waste.
I hope time will be kind to your psyche.
I hope time will be lenient with you.

I daresay this will be your greatest challenge, perhaps conquest or muse yet.
I daresay it's like a hotline you want to make several calls to.
Take it from me. The previous guy.

What happens then, when I run out of things to say?

What happens then, when you look me in the eyes and see nothing?

What happens if I tell you I'll bleed for you, and we leave each other bloodied and broken?

What will either of us do, when words become cheaper, more affordable than actions?


What if three a.m never comes, what if we stay awake beside each other with the nightlight on, no longer craving the contours and sweet of each other?

When it's all said and done, won't I just be a creep?

What if I don't become drowsy anymore around you?

When it's all said and done, won't we just get tired of each other?

I refuse to slow down even once.

*Let the afterburn match the aftermath*