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Do not let a day end
While lacking gratitude
Sew your merit badge upon your heart
You are ******* incredible
Stop acting like a deflated parade balloon
Your heart is a trophy
Keep that **** polished
I am frozen
Fear...
holds me within her grasp
Doubts...
fill my heart
Am I worthy?
deserving of...
is it love
or acceptance
Frozen...
as fear whispers
to me
telling me
yes, telling me
you are not worth it.....
11/4/2014
Is there such
a thing as a soul mate?

I don't know

I'm just learning
about me
How can I expect
someone else
to know me?

Granted
It would be
Lovely to
really be understood
or
would it?

I must travel
my own path
lonely though it may be
at times

And as for being
understood
I suspect it is highly
overrated...
Or
is it?
11/2/2014
I was raised to keep quiet
and let life pass me by.
No one ever told me
It was okay to fight.
No one ever told me
They had faith in me.
I was raised to keep quiet
and life has passed me by.
Here I am again
Picking up the shattered remains
Of my already falling apart heart
Accidentally slicing a cut on my wrist
With one of the tiny little shards
The pain, such sweet heavenly bliss

It's not that I miss you, cause you were never really mine
It's not that I regret loving you, I'd repeat it every time
But my pain has caused you misery that I'm not sure I fully understand
And the guilt lays think upon you, much more than I ever had planned

It's that I had this single drop of hope,
That my wish to have you
Might actually one day come true
But no, just another impossibility
That I'd find love and truly be happy

It ***** my childish ways and innocence were ripped away at such a young age
The one thing you want more than anything, was the one thing they had to take
And I know it sounds silly, but I hate them more now cause I blame them that I can't have you
My nightmares will come when I finally sleep, unfortunately, waking up is a nightmare too

I guess it's time to change my ways, although I've said this time and time again
This chemistry, that I thought was different, better, was just all imagined in my head
A change of heart, a change of soul, a change of my mind and a lack of passion
So many things I can't change, makes it my fault then. Wouldn't it be easier if I were dead?
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