10:23: Hey, I miss you.
11:47: I hope you're okay.
1:19: Please text me back, I'm worried.
2:10: Come back. Come back. Come back.
3:14: I'm so sorry.
3:26: I love you. Please reply.
3:58: Okay, well I'll be here if you need me.
4:17: I love you.

He never replied, but I'm still waiting.


          

                                 B.S.

I am one of the hardest people to love. If you want a challenge, I guess I'm your girl. There are a few things you should know about me, though. 1. I most likely won't trust you even though you've never wronged me. 2. I'll push you away every chance I get. Don't let me, though. I secretly want you to stay. 3. I get upset over the smallest things. 4. I'm very good at making people feel guilty. 5. I laugh at everything to keep myself from crying.
6. I let all my sadness and anger build up until I explode. 7. I am extremely stubborn and will never admit I'm wrong. 8. I hate being told what to do, so don't try pushing me around. I won't allow it. 9. I am very clingy and protective. There are reasons for that which I am not willing to explain.
10. I figure out everything so don't try lying to me. Chances are I already know the truth. 11. I hate myself. Don't ask me why. Don't tell me to love myself. Don't expect me to love me just because you do. 12. I am very insecure. If you compliment me and I tell you no, it's not because I'm fishing for more compliments or begging for attention, I just don't believe your comment to be true. 13. I can't handle arguments. If we get in a fight, I'll most likely walk out. Let me go. It's for the best. I promise I'll come back. 14. I'll love you uncondionally. Please don't take advantage of that. 15. I like going on adventures and keeping myself busy. Please don't try holding me back. I won't stay. 16. I have days where I won't speak a word. Don't try forcing me to talk. We'll both end up frustrated. 17. I won't let you in easily.
18. I like to know every detail about people, but I won't let them know a thing about me. 19. I get excited over the smallest things, especially sunsets. If I make you drop everything to come look at it, just go with it. 20. Half the things I do, don't make sense. I'll laugh at myself, so laugh along with me.
If there's something on this list you won't be able to handle, don't bother with me.

I won't change myself for you.


                                   B.S.

My body
Your playground
Our delight

I do not speak
This truth often enough
I play with the words

I forget you need these words
They are your strong trees,
Sun and rain and soil

I  forget the tall strong branches
that shelter us...all

Are made of small things
that still need, sustenance
to grow.

I do not decline to speak this truth,
not from harshness or forgetfulness.

But simply because,
it is before me always
Like breath or hope
It is in the air and always deep within the essence of my being

I have hope that this my life
That these my better days
Sing the truth in alleuhja chorus's
For the world to see and dance to...

but yet we all need,
these truths whispered often into a waiting ear....

You my my oak,
You are my one true love,
My joy, my hope,
my friend.


Your body
My playground
Our delight.

I am a circle:  
definite indecisions
looped in an array of
implausible logics and standard
reasonings -within their composition
quasi-quarks with peculiar quirks
like most anything-
I want to do how others do
I want to want how they do too