"If you saved any of those photos of me, delete them before you die." I almost said, but that would set it in stone.
Bitter, but at least I still have a sense of humour,
or perhaps pity for myself. Either way, inappropriate, insensitive.
You're the one struggling.  
Not me, not my fight.
Referring to everything as a battle is sort of overused. Why not a tournament?
A championship?
I've never heard anyone talk about
their mental health scrimmage.
Use your vocabulary while you still can.
I ruined three letters already,
tears pooling to blur the ink of a crudely drawn ****.  
Maybe humour will keep you alive; I think not
I don't want this irrevocable.
Bad nights are one thing, but I'm decaying, dissolving in time with you.
Counting the days by phrases is simple.
I'm sorry
I just want this to be over
And to think I woke up happy
This is right
This is wrong
Happiness is in the small things
My head hurts
I'm sorry to cause you pain

Every time we speak
I feel like things are looking up,
no matter what we speak of,
a residual glow is left behind, pineapple cake and birthday wishes; perhaps
we can move to new york after all.
Perhaps this will not be forever.
Drawing lessons and 1 am photos
are what is keeping me alive right now,
a protective world to shield me from the sandpaper reality
And I hope to god that when I call you at midnight
you feel the same.

"How can I help you get back where you were?"
Come on now, you should know better.
The lacquered polish of lies said one time too many
I can't get back to where I was, not now.
I live and breathe you.
Tell me I deserve the world.
Crave me.
A barely human safety net, trying their hardest to break your fall
(I'll burn her apartment to the ground)

some connections can't be adequately explained
freezing wind and gilded ceilings, mousy brown roots
on bubblegum hair
keeping a scarf in place is too hard, and staying inside is too easy
(the bottom has cobblestones)
why is there is only such thing as effortless
when the air is cold enough to burn?
(the best veins are beneath the lids of my eyes)
if footsteps don't echo there's neither point nor interest
menthol, sorbitol, glycerin, xanthan
I exhale mint when I breathe in the world.

when you tell me I'm in love with all our friends
I know it's a joke and I laugh along, but really, it's true.
I can't help but love so many
five
ten
twelve faces
Girls are so beautiful and boys are so beautiful and all others are so beautiful
I don't love you any less, I don't love them any more, but sometimes it overflows, dripping down the sides of my form
cutting through negative space
I have always been the one to sit in the attic, always been the one to savour the cold, always been used to metallic rattles and the feeling of coughing once more before I can pull away from from the back of my throat
and sometimes when I'm surrounded
by beautiful people and their conditioner words,
it just glows

I have seen people change
Some for the better some for the worse
I have felt myself getting older, forming my own opinions
I have watched as friendships fade, some being my own

I have learned to try new things
I have stepped out of my comfort zone
Finding I like it better in there
I have laughed and cried not knowing why

I am finding things about myself I didn't even know
I have learned not to let my feelings show
I have been down and I have been up, finding that up is the better option
I have learned to worry less and smile more, I'm far too young to care

When I feel as if nothing could go right
I smile and thank God for another day
I have found music can make me feel better
And people can change you and shape you

I have had new people introduced into my life
Finding that there is always a story behind the eyes
I have had people share with me the secrets they try to hide
Leaving me speechless with a sad smile not knowing why

I felt pure and blissful joy dancing to my favorite music
I have found that the only answer is God
But that it's easier said than done
And that when you think you can handle it on your own, you need Him

Put your worries in his hands and you will find peace
To love yourself as much as God loves you
Because there is nothing He wants more
Take time, be free, be happy, just simply be

Dreams take me away
At night and day  
Drive my mind to forget
All that I regret
Free from strain
Free from my brain
Dreams take my away  
But don't make me stay