i learn to lean in,
play their game,
because it’s easier
than saying no
and watching it get ignored.
i touch like i mean it.
flirt like it’s instinct.
laugh when they call me trouble
because at least this way i’m choosing my path
instead of being forced down theirs.
i learned early;
if i take off my own clothes,
no one else can undress me.
if i say my own words first,
they can’t change what i say.
they call it confidence.
i call it staying safe.
a way to get by,
learning to hold myself up
after being broken down.
i slip beneath their gaze
in lipstick.
in lace.
playing the part they praise.
i seem so in control, don’t i?
like a girl who’s never been trapped.
but really,
i keep control
because it protects me
from being powerless once more.