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I am like a garbage can, I hold unwanted things inside.
..Is there a deeper meaning? (Thought of this while taking the trash out)
 Mar 2015 SummertimeLace
Sridevi
25th December 1999:My elder one Pradyumna  entered into this world.That was the day I was born …I call him my first Christmas gift and tell him I found him in a stocking (of course he no longer believes it )

Pradyu…I love you …and to all the readers out here…”Wish you all a Merry and joyous Christmas ..and great fun filled days ahead ”*



As those ***** cries
Pierced the late afternoon chill
I was born…


I was unsure
… hesitant..
Always needed to be reassured
I was growing up fine


I crawled
Stumbled
Fell…


With your
Drooling
Dribbling smile
You gently lifted me up
And guided me
To my first steps


I had nightmares…
You nestled me in your
Warm pink breaths
Till I would nod off
No longer afraid


Now I can safely say
I have learnt to walk
(with my head held high)
I no longer wake up
With nightmares.

But all the same
I need to be reassured…
...I am doing just fine…


So…
… come …just hug me…
I don't quite know how I'd describe the taste of your lips, but for now I'll go with the rim of an old porcelain teacup, or soft rain from a bruised sky, or kerosene, you're about to set my tongue on fire with the taste of your love. You're an uprooted tree from a ghost-town-like night, filled with screaming tornado sirens and broken windshields from gulf sized hail. You could carry me quite far, you were damp new leaves weathering from Fall's best storm, and I destroyed you just as completely. With you, I like to forget boundaries, I like to let you dance on my fingers, and let my mouth hang ajar when you punch my jugular, stealing the breath I breathe. You always reach for my hands like they need rescue, they are safe in my pockets, safe by being still, not black and blue knuckle shaking fighting fists. I find you in scalding water, as I wash the past off of my history book hands, my Father has an anger building up in his throat, he knows about our love, the love we never say out loud, the love we don't want anyone to mourn for, he wants to preach a different kind of sermon, a sermon mouthed with cracked sidewalk-like hands, a broken heart, grease stained jeans with worn knees, tired eyes, and an unshaved beard, and chapped lips and a tasteful tongue ready to throw swear words at me like rotten tomatoes, but I can only hear the time bomb in his voice-tone. My teeth are doors, but they only welcome certain types of people in, people like you. You're that abandoned building with a Danger sign hammered to a white chipped painted door, and I'm so happy I judged you for what's inside. Before you, I never experienced any touchy touchy feely feely crap, but you have the veiniest arms, like the roots of a tree cling to you. My hands get all clammy, my palms get soaked, as if I'm holding the ocean in my hands, this is what sweaty palms of nervous love is. I find you in muddy rain puddles, I feel like I'm splashing around in the color of your eyes. I find you on my fingertips, the scent of your favorite food, French fries, lingers in between my fingers. Do I burn your skin with my furnace-like touch? Are my finger tipped fingerprints really trails of left behind scars from a burning match? You make me want to scratch at walls, these walls around me don't feel like home, I'm chipping away wallpaper in hopes I'm chipping my way through your chest, I'm searching for your heart. I've done a lot of thinking, you taste like rusty spigot water, but I can't stop drinking you, it's like I'm living in a drought and you're my only source of water supply. All the words you speak have a certain echo, and echo that lacks reverberation. Your words taste like you learned the hard way. I'm going to hold your hand so long you start to question what's wrong with me, I'm going to stare into your eyes for a long period of time and you're going to nervously smile and say you have to use the restroom. I want to love you so hard the sky explodes into pink and orange jealousy. Autumn is beautiful, much like our love, (the leaves change color), like our cheeks when we blush pink, (then gathered into piles), like you and I picked up each other's broken shattered vase-like hearts, (and then burned), like our love burns more and more passionately day by day.
(k.m.m)
The words sometimes come
from places unknown
making sense as i speak to myself
longing for the promise that has been made
i feel at unease all the time
it seems impossible like its not meant to be
the most beautiful love the most sacred thing
will never come to be
so torn
between
life
    and
death
i am

but i know
the taste of
alive

not the
taste of
dead
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