Danny doesn't smoke.

And I only have two left

I KNOW you took one.

Don't tell me I am beautiful
unless you have seen my soul.
Don't tell me I am beautiful
unless you have touched the dark corners of my mind.
Don't tell me I am beautiful
unless you have brushed against my scars without me flinching.
Don't tell me I am beautiful
unless you can see me for more than my ****** structure and pretty eyes.
Don't tell me I am beautiful
unless you are willing to sit up with me while I cry in the night, it will happen.
Don't Don't Don't tell me I am beautiful
unless you see me for who I really am under my mask.

My pretty love
Come sit with me
And enjoy life as I do
Believe on this world
Because we are only children
We need time to learn
To learn how to truly love

you lie in bed as softly
as the fog caressing the street lights

outside the window is a dangerous world
but in this small white room
the night sounds are shifting springs and sighs

water drips from the pipes
cement floors radiate ice
your breath runs down my face in a hot rhythm
eyelashes and skin fall toward each other
and I have never been more warm

I can't get myself to move
as I watch you sleep

"I miss you"

these three words

I feel a sudden realization
of just how human we are

Maybe, you occupy my mind too much.
Maybe, it's something you suspect.
When I lost off into space.
Don't for a moment think I'm going crazy.
I'm just thinking of you.

Maybe, it's true, what others might say?
That you have this spell over me that makes me weak.
Maybe, it's so.
I just know, I'm only thinking of you.

In my sleep.
I'm dreaming of you.
Even when I'm awake.
I'm just thinking of you.

Then again.
Who wouldn't?
Unless they never comprehend the beauty of you.

All my life I have lived
next to oceans or mountains,
and at one time both.

I have lived with people
in these these places as well,
some of them beautiful
and some made terrible.

I see my bookshelf next to my door
and I hear the waves crashing with my
window open, but it seems to
mean nothing to me anymore.

I understand now that my
essential fallacy was in thinking
that me, being broken, could
somehow heal myself by
healing others.

The realization that my
entire way of looking at life
is entirely superfluous,
may be more than I
am willing to accept.

I go to bars with the
intention of putting
assumptions behind me,
of seeing people without
the judgements laid upon
me and without the judgements
I in turn lay upon them.

But  know that it means nothing,
that all of my writing and
all of my talk about God
and Morality and the search for
Truth is merely a cover, a charade.

All I have ever been looking for,
the only thing that I have ever really
wanted more than money or talent
or prestige or power, more than
anything...is for someone to
tell me that it will one day be ok.

Got a pen and paper and all I want to do is write.
Block everything from me and just write but I can't.
Guilt overwhelms me as I try to ink the paper, mark it as mine but I can't.

I never meant to abandon you I swear I didn't.
He told me I wasn't serious enough about you, that I didn't deserve you.
He didn't see how much you meant to me... Since I was small I pictured you as my future. We were meant to be inseparable.
We were supposed to be infinite.
But he said I didn't deserve you and I believed him.
But I can't help but itch to run back to you each time I have a pen and paper.
But his words echoed in my heart.
I left you, and I'm sorry, I miss you. I'm not using poetry as an alternative.
Its just he can't judge here and take it away from me.
I miss you. I miss drawing. You were my life, you still are, I just draw you with words now.

He said I wasn't good enough, that it was an unrequited love, I believed him. I'm sorry.