There is agony in my ecstacy
Pain beneath the scab
I place my dreams on "holding"
as I face the winter's drab

My Earthly loss is settled
My Heavenly gains abound
I'm tempestuous in my room alone
justifying time above the ground


I gift a deadly raptor
The chains have held me blind
I whisper please Lord don't forsake me
Remember me when it comes my time

Poets become a person
no  longer bound by words of deeds
They crumple up the paper
As they cast away the weeds

The words run cold as crystals
forming outside the frozen glass
I still away the moments
like they be unto my last

The blue sky no longer enthralls me
Neither does the night
What used to be so enticing
no longer seems so right

I say , I don't know
way too often now it seems
When sparrows flutter all about
Are they living out their dreams

Poets are made of bone , flesh and skin .
They swim in their folly
thinking in the end they will win .
They are having the best waste of time they've ever had
Locked inside their rooms
that have no walls
Saying nothing , nothing
Nothing at all


Prime time never arrives
Their latest masterpiece
Is so , so , so contrived
Best hope is they will die
long before they fall
After all . . .
It's nothing , nothing
Nothing at all

It was the best waste of time
they ever had

At 4 a.m. I had a whim
why not write a line or two
It's hot outside , 78 degrees , and it appears there'll be no dew
Everything's right
there is no plight
So I'm not coming down on you
But that's the problem
that I have
and it's making me now so blue
How can I write when there is nothing to say
Damm muse has gone away

She drew the water out of me,
"Looks like it's mostly all a lie ."

"When is water not water when it's only water ?" was my only reply .

She gave me that icy stare .
I could see the steam arising .
Then when it hit 39.6°
things became so dense she longer seemed to care .

Accused of six string
love songs
mere melodies by the way
My fingers bleed just for you
The one string solos soar fretlessly up the neck of love
The lies of falsetto are bassless

I am
naked
in my thought

Safe
within my room
nestled and cocooned
I touch no one and no one
touches me

I am poet
Words barred and leveraged
for all soiled souls
who are possessed

For who finds faith
in word
without light
while searching
in the dark

Reach back
rip the chords out
Twisting still
the heart made metal

Pet the lamenting pulse
Laminate the pinch
of medling ****

Squeeze the words
till they scream
Exacerbate the agony
of bleeding dreams

Lightning comes down
in riffs
in sheets of rolling thunder
Banging heads asunder

Lifting decibels
Straining every fiber
Growing stronger
an electon collider

Till !

As depleted
as uranium
Nothing left
inside the cranium

Repentance isn't a feeling word

Actions are the
dispensations separated
by cross , tomb and resurrection

So aches the heart to know
of what or where
or perhaps most ardently
. . . when .

When will I see you again ?

Holding my headache in hands
Across the creek a bridge that spans
Desperately
Deliberately
Unselfishly

Caught a glimpse of the Apple's sigh
Holding a bag that's full of lies
Mockingly
Forensically
No pity me

Taken for a fool out back
Taken away what I even lack
Gonna find out where I live
Just to dig a grave that's big

Yup ! Yup !
There's going to be a party tonight
Invite your friends to my delight
Won't you step into the light
Party time , all the time

Casting the sun upon the moon
The night has come and the day be soon
Reality
Believably
Finality

Digital fingers on a pocket watch
Pulling the trigger back a single notch
Synical
Maniacal
Hold the call

Yup ! Yup !
There's gonna be a party tonight
Won't you come to my delight
I promise I will give you fright
Try me
Buy me
Don't deny me

The house is called none return
It's like a Hell that burns
There's no need for concern
Desperately
Deliberately
So selfishly

Hey ! I'm on top of the world
I dug your grave and now I'm
Going to have a burial

I dug it deep hoping it will keep
You from bothering me

One , two , three and heave **
Into eternity you must go

Who's laughing now ?
All your a-musing antics
Who's a-mused now
You alphabetical cow

You're shivering as I throw the dirt down
So you see you can't win
You ***** muse I've more than one way to pen


There! All covered and bound
Those binders will remain closed below the ground
Those Hell hounds will
howl no more

I used to walk over my emotions
   in the rain , sometimes the snow
Still I just don't know
   where the nighthawks go

Flying high , diving low

I used to walk in the night
   Alone , unafraid where the red lights
turn green through the alleys

Once again past the gates made of tin

I turn thinking of her skin
   turn again and again
Singing softly , mumbling curses
   never coming to an end

. . . . . ?. . . . .

I've seen the day come crashing down
   seen it rise up again
Seen love come in and walk out the door
   Seen relationships turn to snow

Seen reason falter , stumble and fall
   Seen it's anger and rage
Seen loves folly over coffee , jam , and toast
   I see it all as if it were a ghost

In life
he was full of death .
In death
he was full of life

Healing doesn't come from
revisiting a wound

It comes from releasing it

Looking out my window
the stars are mine to keep
The corner light lights up nothing more than
the asphalt on the street

I thump my pencil against my thumb
Whilst I wander aimlessly Lost in the past
not liking what I see

I feel my insides twisting tight
My breathing becomes restrained
while going over all the errors . . .
it softly begins to rain


I let out a confusing sigh
as the thoughts fade away to die
I long to confess on paper
giving answers to all my questions why


I'm looking out my window
The stars no longer looking in
Both are burning wasted time
Tomorrow . . .
I'll do it all over for the millionth time again

He walks into the room
Looks side to side
Wants every one to notice
He's got David Bowie eye

He steps onto the stage
He's not into raves
He's got one blue eye
He's the latest rage
He's got David Bowie eye

Starts out with a howl
Comes down to a low growl
He throttles your attention
You feel hypnotized
He's got David Bowie eye

Like a thumderstorm
Comes the light before the boom
Explodes on stage
But he never never moves
Unless he captures you
In his David Bowie Eye

Sunshine and
jelly beans
. . . some of the most
common of the ordinary things

Playing cards in bicycle
spokes . . . they could hear us coming , no joke !

No one could outrun me in my red Keds hightop tennis shoes

Staying after school for misbehaving in class
wasn't cool

Playing square ball as the autumn leaves fell . . .

Golden sunshine , Queen of the woods , a magical spell

I was living in my best imagination

I was nowhere . . .

then everywhere , giving it my all to tell

Maybe not trenches
maybe just graves
Where I've laid all
my treasures ,
memories and rusty knife blades .

When I'm flying at 30,000 feet
All that separates my life from death
is the silvery skin and my dubious breath

Roman candles or Greek fire ?
My curosity dares me to inquire

What happens in the night
stays in the night

Screaming , "What?"
. . . does no good .

Turn your hands inside out . . . you , the magician
tricked me out .

A childhood playground
(swinging up and over the the bar) . . . a distance too far to accomplish . . . come toppling down bar to  ground . . .

So I lofted my dreams higher than possible , improvable saith the powers that be .

I turn over in my grave before I've been buried or depositioned

Yes I've sinned over and over and made my Jerusalem look like Heaven

Let no stone remain on top of another

Let no word
persuade another
unless it be
the truth

I leave the words
to be the pale wind combing through the limbs of bare trees lichened in hopeless desparation

. . . consummatum est .

I'm looking for salvation
by the wounded hours of night

I'm thinking of a giant to the ****** of my plight

My pen lays as idle as the silence of the slain
As I've aged I wonder if I will ever write again

The thoughts go tango to dance that subtlely divides

The words are rudely gathered then told they've been denied

Someone dared to ask me
if I lived in
a graveyard
of shattered dreams

After a moment of silence all I could say was , "Yes ,  so it is as well it seems."

The paper island exists far out on an inky sea

The words have stowed away on boat and sailed far away from me

I read the open invitation
there upon your skin
The softest core of constrenation
demanding that we sin
Pressing firmly , there are no questions why
I envelope you completely the apple of your thighs
Into a world of firey Hell
As drop by drop the tension swells
I feel the need , the lust ,
and consuming fire
The thrilling rush of my wild desire
I surround your urgency
by drawing near
The exhilaration stokes your tingling fear
Sweet lips that never smile
Willingly go that extra mile
The intense heat and man made sweat
Brings us together tete a tete

Siting in the silence
of my dreams
In the depths
parched dry
by their screams
they lie

Every chance
they were used
and abused
Bludgeoned
and egged on
all for nothing

I remember
I remember
I remember
I can't forget

Hot as the sand's
breath upon my back
The eyes of the Anunnaki
like a duststorm
welcomes me back

There is an inference
. . . a deference
. . . and a resistence
to their age

There's a shadow of energy tingling
against the skin of my bones
They are dreams that didn't stand but stumbled , fell ,
faded
. . . and now they are gone

There the sun's constant echo in the canyons of desires

But all I hear are the wails of Ululation of the outliers

Sand , Sand , Sand
Crushed into dust
Buries the ashes
turns truth to rust

Mashelem

When Bablylon
conquered Jerusalem
they took everyone as slaves back Chaldea . Everyone except the
weak , the meek , and the Poet Freak .

God for all his blessings

Jesus for his understanding

The Holly Spirit for strength and courage

They sit in council
In chambers of self ordained God's
They look down and
upon the people they trod .

They have books and books
of forbidden laws
Take no prisoners
curse your questioned calls

Their brothers in arms
the Sadducees
Occupy reality as they say it was meant to be

All lead by the King of Kings
He wears nothing but golden rings

They bow on bended knees out of fear
He rules the far while he
destroys the near

Have mercy on the fools
who empower them

They will be cast out
Their lives destroyed
Their women cut open
their children used for toys

Their's was a choice
in season
For there is a time
for every purpose
unto heaven
You could see the seasons
written on their faces
One hour short of a twelve
time had ceased to be
Reduced to simplicity
they wore their world
on bent backs and
defeated shoulders
And wrapped themselves tight
from the cold
with the resignation
of what destitution brings
Their bodies
like marble from ancient
institutions ;
cracked , discolored
fallen in disrepair
As they lined up waiting
To enter
I thought to myself
Truly now the Saints come
marching in

I care not about the words
spoken
Nor the one's laid down on page
I long ago got over myself
and the antics of my rage
They seem to be valueless
in the scrapped scope of paradise
I will take the offer given
and let the advice suffice
Poets don't live in mansions
Nor on rheams , nor texts or screens
They occupy the inner works of imaginations and all that it will bring
People don't pay for poets
nor feed their desperate ego
They just steal a line or perhaps a quote just to prove that they must know
At least songs have a memory with words dripping in notes for coats
So much easier to swallow
Not like the paper that chokes
So next time you say heh listen
I'll turn my head and flee
For it must be another attack of killer poetry

It was the perfect picture
for the last day of fall :
Pale blue skies
cotton candy clouds
warm golden fields of hay
cropped close to the ground
glowing in the crisp sunlight

It was in the corner
of Five Points South

East and West
North and South
and the other

Juliet love Remeo
and his money

She longed to be with Julio
But no milk , no honey

Remeo's and Juliet's
relationship
soon turned
poisonous

Juliet fled into
the arms of Julio

Remeo , broken hearted
turned hatefull
sharpening his knife
everyday

Then one day
there he found
Juliet and Julio
smoking *****
at the Dew Drop
Taco and Beer

They were
hoochie cooching
waist to waist
face to face

It was too much of
a disgrace
Out came the dagger
to the screams of the place


The dagger flashed
quickly turning red
And on the floor
Juliet lay dead

He grabbed the hand
of Julio
and the two quickly fled .

There in the tears of joy
Sings a round moon assuming
Calling to me come home
and be free
Never so astounding
the love flows unfounded
My dear one
won't you come home
Time is fleeting
for those that lingered
now hear they
are weeping
Oh , my dear one
be strong , have faith
let your soul come on home

I am the emptiness
between the page
The long nights labor
without a wage

I am the text
without a spine
Electronic beasts
line after line

I am the way
backwards : a yaw
A keychain made
from a rabbits paw

I am the wind
that makes sailors dream
The separation of milk
and all of it's cream

I am the footsteps
across the hot sand
A ringless finger
attached to your hand

I am the breath of life
given to you
The taste on tongue
The morning dew

And by now you're
asking me for a clue
Sorry about that
It's left up to you

I wanted to be Baptized in a birdbath
Overjoyed like the birds
who dipped over and over

Unlike the birds I was baptized behind the altar
I rose shedding water
and religion

The old man walked up and sat beside me
On  the city bench inside the park

"Whew !" was all he said and gave me a well worn cookie cutter smile

I nodded an annoyed smile hoping he would go away

Then he got up and smiled and said ,"I will come back later , I see you are not ready ."

Puzzled by his statement
I looked straight ahead
only turning seconds later
to find the old man had disappeared

I moved in the ways of water
Across the asphalt seas sublime
The sign said 'Seven Bark Road' and
the gears in my head started to grind

Visions of forocious canines
All kinds and sizes to boot
Then on to stately oaks and pines
Maybe a fig tree just for hoots

I'm sure it was writer block
When asked what was the name of the road
I'm glad there were no amphibians crossing
Or it could have been called 'Toad'

How much do heavy thoughts weigh ?
Just enough to crush you
Just enough to squeeze you through the unforgiving sewer grates of life
They roll over you like a high rise pick-up truck on a drunken Saturday night
See those possum eyes open wide before splat
How much do you really think ?
Perhaps as much as thirty pieces of silver or your brothers keeper .
How much do heavy thoughts oppress you ?
Subdue you ?
Demean you ?
Demote you ?
Destroy you ?
Deport you ?

Only God knows and he's not saying .

I will not be a stain
upon the pages
of your four
cornered vile

Nor do I wither
but strain to keep
perpendicular the line
so compiled

Your broadsword words
of audacity flecks
off my shield
inconspicuously

Leave your lectern
note for note
For you cannot rage
without your kickstand support

So faberge your doting dribble
Your sculpture is cracked
saturated in strychnine
and mace

In the middle of the moment
The past just stumbled by
The future seemed so uncertain
About the when or where or whys
So I took a step or two backwards
Before I leaped too far ahead
It was on an afterthought
That I tripped , fell and hit my head
When I became conscious
I wasn't where I was
There were flies all over the carcass
And a loud and constant buzz
As the stench rose up above
The flies were stepping high
Giddy in their excitement
What a way to die !

It is said to be true :
(1) That the Spirit dwells within the body
(2) That the Spirit is more important than the body
(3) That they must be opposites from the beginning

The spirit lives on
The body doesn't
If the spirit is evil it will
destroy a good body
If the spirit is good it can save an evil body

This give and take and conflict molds the destination of both

There's no food for the body
Unless the spirit challenges us to sew the seed

There is but one body
There is but one soul

Both fighting to take total control

Will vs Will

Who will be supreme in the end ?

"Thy Will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven"

Like a coin there are three sides to everyone

What do I say
when you ask of me
"Where are you from ?"

Do I tell you of the
moment the star was formed

Or of the moment it was blown

Or of my journey
across this tiny speck of eternity

Even long before
the mouth of creation
spoke the truth
"I am" . . . I was

I am from the North
standing on the cold truth

From the South wrapped in the equatorial arms of balance

I am from the East
spinning on the axis
of hope , love and dreams

I am from the West , South by Southwest , from the land of shimmering sand and golden sunsets and the thousand sighs of regret

I am from the words of the song , the last step of the dance , the ending of the book you never wanted to end

Keep the fire burning in your eyes
I am sure to be around

The long draw of contemplation
The slow sweep of realization
The full bodied exhaultation
of life as it is

Oh sweep me away beyond
the fettered ways attached to the feathers of escape

Let free the chords of dissapation that baffle the binds of imagination

Come the vibrations that penetrate the soul of the eternal ear creating cravings that are simply insatiable

Cello !

We are the ashes of our stars


. . . ☆ . . .  


traveled great distant ages to be where we are


. . . ♡ . . .


but like the DNA of our hearts there remains that once distant spark . . .


. . .


We may breathe the air of Earth


. . . . . but this not the place of original birth


. . . . . .We still feel the eternal tug . . .


the pull from home . . .


the universe that once embraced with hugs


. . . ☆ . . ☆ . . .☆ . .


Star light , star bright
How I wish upon you with all my might . . .


I wish I may , I wish I might . . .


Remain the ashes of your light . . .
           . .
             .
            ☆

I climbed the hill
to see if you were home
But you wern't
So I rolled all the way home

School is the sieve through which mediocrity passes .

It takes all manner of forms of personality and forces them through the same sized holes
indiscriminately

The end results are ground meat for brains

It was only . . . a long time ago . . .

Living came easier
and harder were the mistakes . . .
or was it the other way around ?

Love was always one of those mistakes

(another after another)

Breathing is the hardest thing to do with a heart of
shattered glass

And the shards cut deeper when you try to pick up the pieces

And before you know it everybody sees you bleeding all over yourself

or is it you hope they do ?

After a long while it doesn't really matter . . . does it ?

Young life
Trying to say
one thing right
Every morning
mirrored fright
Here in your home


Am I doing this wrong
Didn't say in the song
Nor on the Go ogle
Just blanks on paper
and in the guns

N'ere to be free
just locked into
the night
Breathing firelight
from the firefight

Golden ring , golden ring
No longer make's my heart to sing
I have come to the junction of a five way choice
Tell me which way to go

I will bury you in the middle of the road
My future is what my next step holds
Standing on a golden ring in the middle of the road
Tell me which road to take

East and West or North and South
The rumors spread far by word of mouth
Nobody seems to have a clue
Which way now will I choose

The choices made define the man
Standing on rock or shifting sand
How do I make the choice that counts
Standing on the ring in the middle of the road

The flute
evokes the rites
The pipes the pain
Long standings
in a winters rain
so ends
his reign

Some people
are buried
some are flamed
Some we raise
our glass unto
and drink to fame

We sink
our hopes
and shed our tears
and like little children
we face our fears

auld lang syne

(I can see we are alike)

Equals ? Certainly not !
Nor could we ever be .

But alike spiritually

Unfortunately
we could never meet

It would be a
(contpěetement fatal)
collsion
A vacious affair
of lightning bolts
(kissing)
inside a tornado's
twisted maw !

I will never be what I wanted to be . . .

. . . as I sit on the dunes looking at the sea . . .

I contemplate what was , what is , what is due

I watch the waves come in and crash , recede , and crash again

So were my chances that came in waves , receded and crashed again

My life's foundation resides on these impermanate dunes

I cannot stand for long on the shifting sands ,
changing with the winds of time , before I am forced to move

Motion made me . . .
The vibration of the small details
I know you know but you never told me

I will never be what I wanted to be . . .

But that doesn't matter anymore

I watched my father
take his last breath
Drugged , deprive of food and water
slipping away into death

Yet he resisted ,
he struggle to say .
But the drugs
prevented him
as they held him
in sway

The memorial crossed
my thoughts tonight
Then spread to the history
of my life by the light

From the earliest beginning when I was just
child
Death was stalking me
following me around all of the while

A neighbor from tornado
Crib death of a child
plane crash , polio
Mile after mile

Death became second nature
A fiend always that be
That shadow always standing there next to me

I used to joke and call him my friend
But I never saw him smile or attempt to grin

So as the wheels of life continue to spin
I'm left here standing next to him

I tell death I'm moving on beyond his grasp
Entering a new dimension
where he cannot pass

There are no emotions
in his vacuous eyes
And I wonder if he believes it's just more of those lies

His thoughts chiseled
with no disgrace
Despite the humiliation
he stands his place
His face like flint
sheds sparks when struck
His choice to be here
was not by luck