The sun has set, the darkness has risen
The time is now–
My written letters, long and full of apologies
Placed on the table, where my “family” is bound to see
Strikes of lighting zap my heart, making me anxious yet full of fog
As I step out the door, saying one last goodbye
To the place that's my home— but never felt so
Taking down the sidewalk, with limbs so weak,
So tired– yet full of so much relief,
For at last, something now, takes action—
To try and end my suffering
That something is me—
Arriving at the bridge, climbing onto the railing
looking down upon the fast flowing river
I knew jumping was sure to get me pulled under by the tide
And then I would drown.
That however, was the plan
So as I tore away the remains of my resolve
I closed my eyes, and lept
Crashing down with a loud splash,
Into the dark, cold, wet abyss
The shock of the cold and strength of the fall,
Pushed the air out my lungs
The quick, ruthless tide rushed me down the river
Pulling me under, filling my lungs with ice-cold water.
As the cold absorbed me, taking all my heat
I knew for sure, I’ll never again feel warm
banging hard into surrounding rocks and objects—
The last bit of fear— The last speck of will to live—
Died as I stopped fighting the tide and let myself fade
Accepting that death was superior to life
My breathing stopped
I felt myself die.