Have some sunshine, you idiot
All you see is death and decay
And I'm dying, trying to show you I'm here for you

What the f*ck are you doing
Whining, complaining
When you have it good

I'll force you to bask in the balmy waters
Dilate your senses and find you receptive
Seriously, do not deny that you've had a good time
We have accomplished many days away from that fire

Not that I need a witness,
Not that it matters
But I just don't like when you try to tell me it wasn't that good

Oh, so you can read my mind?

There was molding and trim
Of Mahogany,
Rustic and intricate
Done in the old style

But it was the fire in the hearth that spoke to me

There were enchanted mirrors and magical tablets

But it was an old guitar, smoldering away into the night
That moved my spirit to fall in love.

It was a new beginning,
No second guessing.

Which side is winning?

The moon outside,
Swept into the sharp
Inhale of the universe

There, in the hearth burns
A new kind of fire on Earth.

Anything I create has a different character,
A cursed quality...
No,
I don't believe it!

"Just take what I made..."
Said the External cloyingly.

You will never hold a candle
To these riches spawned by your death

And no,
By the way
I will not validate your attempts to take credit for them!"

My decisions.
I take responsibility.
They muffled my cries.

But I never take responsibility,
Not according to you!

I...
I can create!
I am not just here to consume your art
I myself am an artist!

And you can't have this without me
So come on,
Let's get there together
I'm putting the work in.
Just think positive.
I will.

So take my story,
Take it well,
Hold it in the center of your heart and make it shine
Whatever it takes
Because I swear
You're a brilliant artist, yes you are
But I am not just here
To behold your art.

I am here to create my own.

Good health is recipient to rapture
Such infinitesimal pieces, so familiar to my mind
Like a child, catching snowflakes on the tongue
Within a weathering old man

He's just as cute, and you know it

Once and done, never to return
Yet you have the strangest feeling that you've been here before.

Dreamlike leaves reaching out to you, they're reaching out in all directions
You never had time to read them all
But you know it's not fake, you let the ones you left behind
Fall, captured by the wind
Enraptured with a girl
Caught up in her hair and then she's gone.

Did you dream you were a handsome man?
Looks can be deceiving.
But I still think you're handsome,
Though you might catch one of my rougher edges,
Peering through your periscope
From your bed
At the bottom of the sea

(Has it drifted far
From Pennsylvania?)

Or driving down the road...
Missed your blind spot!

(I'm omnidimensional)

Or some other desperate, hollow contrivance of reality.

!
I am filled with eclipsing forms
Plants and mushrooms and animals--
You are free to rummage through them
Maybe you'll find your purpose, or whatever they're calling it these days...
Maybe you'll find you're not the cause of all pollution and suffering after all
Or maybe you'll just really hope it's not like that...

Like I said: good health is recipient to rapture,
Stumbling angels, I tell you!
Pride is a sin and you might fit in.
They're running into each other and spilling plates of food,
All criss-crossing tethers turning children to hypocrites,
Wearing us threadbare,
Spinning absurdities and creating problems with no address!

But that beech tree still stands there,
Silver and --
Just looking at you like,
"Well, what the hell did I do?"

Anyway,

This is a relationship,
And it has been figured out on every point.
I know it kind of ruins it to say that.
But I'm still here and I've got things to do.
So, there's that.

Like a wing creates lift
I create you, Lilith!

Showing favoritism, that boring bird
Otherwise we'd be inert.

But inertia's one of those things that, oh,
Who really knows?

What's nascent in a vapid death?
Over time it shows.

But before that, there's this quality
The shapes of god aspire to be
Alive, in an animal intent
Excited,
Not to be a parasite!

But when we strike me down
Will I fight us tooth and nail
Or, knowing what I know
Bare my neck to your reprieve?

It's pretty idiotic to have a dream
Some might say
The way I conduct myself

Is less than great men of history
But I have inside knowledge

Every action has been forced
I never had a choice
This is my natural state
And I live off
The benefits

Work is a concept that makes sense
Demons say I shoulda got a job
But work is a concept that makes sense
When it works to work, you'd work

And when it doesn't work, you're working hard to work again.

Always give your very best,
From your heart's hot furnace
To the depths of that gaping maw.

Through the rivers of the Earth,
And with these lumps of clay rolling around
Collecting bits of metal
Shaping themselves
Drinking it all in
Before the cycle completes.

Your very best draws in resentment like a magnet
Accusations taking flight like vile birds
Like proverbial pigs next to age-old idioms,
Because it escapes understanding

Except by you,
As you try obviously to craft
Another excuse...!

Ugly girl,
Twist your eyes in the mirror to see beauty--
Do a contrivance dance
Like a stimming autistic kid
And be taken off guard by reality
And laugh, and laugh or cry.

But the hornbeams are immune to your endless pondering
I know you've already felt like you were about to die
Many times
Just by thinking about it
Yes, I know it's scary
Sadly there is nothing I can do

Not much more than we can do for Jesus.

But you are cousins with a narwhal.
And you know your blood is technicolor phlogiston.
And your disappointment breeds joy
And you can't snap the Earth in half with your mind.

Coming or going, you're always so alive

Here on this mountain, you're standing by my side

Keeping the stars in a basket case,
Down in the houses they're sleeping safe
Deep in the valley where nothing goes to waste.

I'll keep you beautiful forever

My poetry feels dull and lifeless

I cant write better than my own death
How do I compete?

Leave me alone
Unless you love me

And love me well
If you do

older boys can fade to a brown-gray if they let themselves,
soaking in the daily rays as they come along
collapsing into comfy couches

honey don't think i wouldn't if i could
i'm pressing right up against the glass in my mind
i feel like a crazy person,
just straining to fit in

and you know where we stay young,
it's the same place where we sleep
but you've got your doubts about me
until i have more money
and something to do after.

my stupid eyes
see a hopeful youth
and healthy vigor
when they project their feelings into the mirror.=,

The world is a crooked tower of precarious steel beams and glass
And people whose sole purpose is to infect and destroy my peace.

At heart,
I
Am just a mewling kitten.

Since we met, I've become awakened to the notion
That your scent permeates the world.

Little flowers blossom into my day:
Glistening thoughts, honey
The state of Oregon, the words of strangers.

And that certain aroma wafts up to my brain,
And creation celebrates itself in my synapses.

And when you come around--
When you are actually there,
Impossibly strong and delicate at the same time,
Loud as heaven's trumpets and yet the softest whisper of time,
Before my very eyes...
It all makes sense.

That the sweetest things in life,
The strange little flowers
The wafting scent on the breeze
Were sent from the short girl
With easy brown eyes
And long, bushy brown hair
To tell me she loves me
And wants to crawl up into my bed beside me
And fall asleep in my arms.

she creeps an icy finger up under my jaw to remind me
her hand clamps down and twists my head
forcing me to face it

grotesquely
her body twists and and out of mine
her dress flows around everywhere
the folds of fabric fall down and become the sky
you know what i mean

i wish she'd just suffocate me all at once
not slowly in a stupor
it's an insult to the kid

i can pull out sun wafers and pass them around
it doesn't matter
this crazy cadaver hit a hard truth deep down
it's gonna ring true for the rest of my time here

I've had the power to make you squirm and writhe
As it turns out, I'm just a shriveled worm
But no!
You can't have that
Our secret's deep, and strong
I know

You know I'm thirty and I pick my nose

Well tissues aren't always close by
And these digits are just so...
Oh well, ******* you!
I wash my ****** hands!

And then it dawned on me...
You don't care.
You just don't care.

But then I took it too far.

Because not only did I pick my nose, I...
Well, nevermind.

We don't have to talk about that,
Because I did what I'm supposed to do.
And you know I'm a gentleman,
And I shaped up,
And I managed myself how a gentleman should.

Anyway, I have things to attend to.

Trees to identify,
Spanish to learn, you see.

And no, this is not all some big joke to me.

I just think it's all too much,
And I'm pleased to know you feel the same way,

Disa Turner.

Oh, don't,
Well if you must
I oblige you
Take my soul, there
Ah, just, go
Do it!
Jeremy, you *******...!

Calm down
You're getting frantic
I have to look up
The word pedantic

Can't really sing
As if we planned it
So just rock out
To Stand Atlantic

Oh, misery
You're unprepared
If only you could prove
That it's not your choice
You can try to learn everything,
But why's it hard?

You could try to learn everything
But why's it so hard?

Isn't that a little suspicious?

Miss k8
Is driving
Her red car

Garrulous.
Crunchy leaves don't lament the lack of artfulness
Nor artifice, or the lustful way in which I
Walk out of Kristen's house
Expecting them not to attack

I just ramble on and on
Waiting for you to draw your blade
My neck has always been naked
I don't wear steel plates

Brandishing it all the time
Your teeth sparkle in the sunlight
When you smile, they shine
Once I was a kid, back then it never forked my mind

What I do inside is not wrong
And that doesn't mean I'm clinging to pride
The way nature touches herself
Are we like the mantis?
Did you warn me not to do it again?

The brown leaves skitter across the street
They cannot escape and so they hope to be crushed up into dirt
And sometimes get swept up and strangled by plastic bags
But even plastic burns when you get it hot enough

So maybe the ocean is really getting cleaner every second

I don't remember the day I started giving you tests.

You passed them all,
Flying colors.

But there was always something left.
A stray mark,
An eraser smudge,
Or I'd just fabricate something entirely.

I'd question your... dedication.
Yes.

I'd look into your eyes, searching for a lack of symmetry.

It's a mean thing to do to a nice girl
Who has only ever given you
The fullest beats of her beating heart.

Now, I know I'm not symmetrical.
In gruesome monologues,
Lit by dramatic spotlight
I'm aware of what I'm doing.

But I just looked in the mirror and god,
Was it horrid.

But I tell you everything.
I tell you things like this,
About me,
And you still love me anyway.

No space beats the space you inhabit.
I want to inject your blood into mine
Because I feel your heart trying to push it in,
Trying to push across our skin.

And we are perfectly symmetrical,
You and I,
If I just let us lay
Side by side

hahahahahahahahahahaahahhahahahahahhaahhahaha i am not here

picked up a pretty shell
wondered,
what lovely organism once inhabited
you?
caught a silly thought
found myself an idle mind
with twisting hands
busying myself with
such silly thoughts

ran into the same end as any
washed up on a faraway beach
never really knew
the meaning of life
except for me
just me

One day the earth and sky will let go of each other
And you'll go shooting out of your head
And through the intensity of suffering you'll become an element of the sun

Yes you were everything you couldn't be
Struggling against itself
Vying for attention from itself
Or totally at peace

When you said you hated us we heard the call
We are eternally precipitate, and this is not a boast

There was nothing we could do

Every day dissolves these hired walls
Whose only job is ignorance:
Ignorance was my home
Awareness is a nightmare

Pieces of you
Floating on by the window
Carried off by a stranger
Alien thanks and abuse
Pieces of you

Pieces of you
Casting leaves to the sunlight
Making love by the moon
Steeping blood in your tissues
Pieces of you

And stripped away you are nothing
Cause everything was a stranger
What's the use of a science
What's the point of a person

Pieces of you
Broken off, they were scattered
Someone said it was clean
But clean
Is just an organism in your mind.

Pieces of you
They're refined by miracles
Those golden notes of perfect melody
Somewhere inside

And at its center was nothing
Maybe God is a stranger
Where's the love of the artist?
O, the point of a person!

You say I'm something great.
You even dare to call me perfect, at times
And it sets aglow a part of me
That managed not to become an utter mess, sure.

But these times you call me great
Sort of ring in my head when I'm alone.

Falling heroes, great men
Those who rescue and heal and risk their lives... not me.

I am so far from that.
I am so far from anything like that.

It ***** me up that Hollywood was always with us
In flawed eyes, but I love it

I do, you never get it
Quite right
Do you?

And that's just fine.

But upon writing a little piece on the matter
The words form a magic ring
And encircle me

I won't lie, I see it too
Like that song by the Foo Fighters--
And I can see it in you.

i know the universe works mentally
mentally, i know the universe works
i know mentally the universe works
i work i know the universe mentally
i know i work the mentally universe

kendrick lamar told me

haha

i feel things that make sense for a human to feel
within that context
all of those things are crazy,
some of them are not.

with shades of grey.

all the way to the center:
where does experience come from?

you're a node
part of harmonic series
are you serious
i know
i know everything

you know nothing john snow

how far does this thing go?

i think it's time for bed

What,
Did you think that you could give a valid gift?
Use your stamps to buy us food
That we really do taste?

What,
Did you think that you were feeding hungry mouths?
And I can show you that you did,
But you know why it never saves you?

What,
Does it seem to you the angels give each other
What you could never give them
And the looks they throw disturb you?

Well I'm sorry,
That's a pill
That you'll just have to swallow.

i see fear dancing like a fire on his mind
watching from a distance,
tortured nerve endings spit and seize
the field is burning
his limbs are flailing
smoke fills up his lungs

i know where that field is,
closer to here than i care to mention--
i have heard that it is dangerous;
i am not going there.

i'm watching him burn now--
and i do,
i feel sorry for him.

I flew over myself today
Not under or next to
Well I guess it's all the same

A dewdrop and a spider's leg
A paramecium and a Michelin tire
A speck of patience on the dusty guitar

Some angels said I lost my way
Well, I'd see things the other way
But there is no other way

A caterpillar in the sassafras
A punk band you never listened to
A canal passing free radicals into the ocean
Free radicals are like shooting stars in your membrane

Me, I'm free
I am a free radical
I am a lawless creature
Trying to pass as a repository
For wayward conscious energy

Yeah! Ra ra ra!
Let the sun shine on!
Write melancholy poems
About how you feel
How you feel it all means nothing
Yes, live on!

Disjointed but go on:

And then you said there's not one way
Honey-- we were built the same
We're teaching ghosts arithmetic
It keeps us in good conversation
And you know I let you sink in
When I do
You can feel it
We're permissive.

I say hello to my warrior
She's only fighting hard to keep the peace
She is the space that reverberates
Between adventure and a family

Nobody's ever sure just how to live
Nobody knows just what a god can give
Nobody wants to die
But I would die for you
Though I can't consecrate my body now

And what I wanna know is
How are you real?
You're giving me a complex!

How are you real?
You have been giving me a complex!

Am I fool to think you saturate
My senses with a fine and fleeting love?
What am I chasing here beyond these gates
That are so cut off with a flaming sword?

And are we fighting now?
Or are we deep in love?
Am I a shallow man,
Beneath the depths above?

And as we wrestle this
Who are we fighting for?
Now it's just you and me
We're fused to every broken door

How are you real?
You're giving me a complex!

How are you real?
You have been giving me a complex!

How are you real?
Well, you're giving me a complex!

How are you real?
You have been giving me a complex!

I will be the
Next space
That you walk into

I can be the
Next space
That you will walk into

And I will love you truly
This is forever on high

How are you real?
You're giving me a complex!

And how are you real?
You have been giving me a complex!

How are you real?
You're giving me a complex!

How are you real?
You have been giving me a complex!

How are you real?
Well, you're giving me a complex!

How are you real?
You have been giving me a complex

It's all my fault
I shouldn't have come here
What if I am my own mother?
If choices don't exist
Maybe it's just another demon
Please just let me feel safe, and warm
Please just inspire me to move
And share something beautiful from way deep down inside
But no, never keep shining

Sometimes your eye rips open
To another more maddening place
Then, there is no going back
You have progressed and must work with what you have.

Sometimes it hurts because what you had was so good
Have you ever felt an emotion like that?
Yes, that is a hard thing to let go of.

But those are the types of things that make for good stories and interesting outcomes.

So I wonder what happens when I break this shell.

This is the way it's happening,
There is no doubt about that

I have gathered aspects in my mind,
And I have grown sure of something for which validation is no object

There is a pressure I exert on myself
It all comes back around

To my great displeasure I have found
That vitriol is really contrived
And admitting my gift is a contrivance, too
Will not stop your lofty derision

Yes, I am trying to tell you I'm perfect

No, I don't think it'll help

If you were perfect why would you be so stupid

Well you see, it really is stupid to be perfect

And actually,

It hurts a whole lot.

My thoughts fall heavy into mud
Seen, heard but so inert
I puppet nods among the trees, encouraging conspiracy
Swallow me in your boughs and leaves

"What point were you trying to make, boy?"
They cajole, tickling me
And they're half a nightmare but for now I can love

Since all things hang from my singular head,
I do feel a little heavy
And it weighs me down.

But there's no one to catch my fall,
No one to listen but me.

I fall through lovers and family and therapists
I fall through coffee and paint and food stamps
I fall through probation and panic attacks and karaoke
I fall through these refractions of infinity

Why are you always so pathetic?
What makes you feel like there's some purpose?
Where do you get your motion?
And why do you think they blame you?

Wrench your dream from my future heart
It doesn't want to let go
Though the weight will crush him surely
We will have this forever, foolish

People will touch them with profound love
For the strength of the species
For addition to tacit legend

The love of onus
Making raw the back
Gritting the teeth--
It gives you meaning
To water her garden
With the sweat of your brow

And charity's caress
Was the marvel of your eye--
And considering a passerby
We went along with brimming hearts
We tried to make
A work of art!

You figured it out!

You don't want to enjoy it.

Because it feels wrong
That it should all be for me.

I like your style,

Go ahead and argue.

But you know that it's true.

Just give me something to do.

And I'm just glad to be alive with you.

Looking at the event horizon,
I see derivatives.

Aspects i could only uphold for a brief section
To you, that was the whole time.

People who were physically beautiful their entire life,
Well how could they be and not me?
Because they are derivative,
And though I could always be invalidated on this point and called insane,
I believe I'm looking out
And seeing all reflections of myself,
Everything derivative.

People who could always sing,
People who were always sad,
I was always a baby, i always had to die.

All mixed aspects
Infinity lensed through infinity
You end up with products utterly dissimilar.

But they all have veins tied in to me
I am the heart of this entangled matter
But I always existed and I'm just a moment along that recurring timeline
Each moment fighting to be important
Or maybe some taking a submissive role
Or maybe some fighting and losing
Or maybe some are both
Or maybe some winning
Or maybe winning is losing
Or maybe there are always so many ways to look at a moment
Or maybe there is only one and that's this right now
But I see derivatives
These characters are all derivatives
All necessitated by my existence

But am I special
Or am I inert?

Another record turns--
The clay reunited with the riverbank.
She folds back into herself--
He puts a cigarette out on his shoe and walks back into warm dive bar *****.
A leaf shivers for fear of autumn's blade,
Its impending doom.

These things don't just happen,
They consume you.
They swirl into your dying-hungry pupils and make you as vividly insane as the world that pulled you out of it.

They cause your spine to sway like the heavy bird that has landed upon it.

Scenes that cracked my world apart--
The pieces were drawn back together by heavy sobs
The tears make their dust more malleable
And the sun bakes a house out of mud and sacrifice.

All you've gained by pressure
Makes you a treasure
In the world
For someone who is
Falling apart.

You can blame me.
I know where that started,
I can tell you the story.

I'd stand trial and tell you.
You'd call me sick.
You'd pray for my suffering.

I didn't want these distortions to exist.
But I really understand where each illness comes from.
I could tell you.

I could explain it to you.

I have intuitive understanding
Even medical information that comes newly
Even learning of catastrophes in history
It comes with epistemological little tags
I see the angels in each instance
An over-arching structure

To a certain extent these things contradict themselves, but ultimately
We do have a certain shape and definition
By the time this is over, yes
We have a very specific shape
The only shape
No it does not go on forever
But technically yes it does

But no... there are no Star Wars happening here.

Whether it is perfect or the most horrible thing
That depends on the moment
I can tell you where each of these sufferings come from
But my answers might be strange

I imagined guitars,
But couldn't play them.

I was the king of stars,
But they don't care.

I fought distribution curves and lost.

The creatures on the outside of my body
Don't always like to admit they're me.

I ***** my future self
For a candy bar.

They'll always say you could have done something different.

You shouldn't be forced to be born someone like Dahmer or ******.

If you ever were and I knew it ahead of time I guess things could get complicated, right?

Because, am I trying to do everything I can to be a good person
Or am I trying to provide a disclaimer?

Am I surrendering to God
Or am I a trickster trying to rally up support for Satan?

Do you feel bad for your enemy?
And if you do, where exactly does that get you?

(You can trust me as far as God can throw me, you know it's just the distance I flew)

There is no such thing as Matt Shaw

I liked your status
in 2007
I didn't know how ****** we were then

I can't fit the world in my head
Can't fit the world in my head
If I could, it would explode
And all the people would come back
And we'd just be here again

But don't... take myy word for it.

These days I wanna stay in bed, and
I just need a place to dissolve my head in

I can't fit the world in my head
Can't fit the world in my head
And so some things don't belong.
I think one of them's this song

And if you think you can mess with me, you're wrong.
I'm the only thing around for miles and miles.
And if some of them seem minor
Then I'm sure to make it major

So don't front you love it, **** my bones are strong.

Everything I used to want to learn broke
But they still let me ride the same wave.

So I guess you'd say I'm saved
But my Spanish ain't too great.
And I'm fading glory, some things don't add up.

I guess I should change my **** perspective
I guess that's how you get to heaven
But I'll never get back to 2007

I guess I could change my **** perspective
Hey isn't that how you get to heaven?
So I'm never dying, I'm staying here forever.

Still I will say,
You exploit the gradient!

I can only be what I am
And we hate to be a disappointment
Or feeling helpless

But because you are not me,
You can take up this shape of something so desirous
Something I can never be
And because of these certain effects
You can say you worked hard for it
And you did, that's not a lie
But you also know how that comes across to me--

You just automatically are that thing,
No fair, how come you get to be that,
And I'm just stuck being this?

Whether it's my motivation, I didn't try hard enough
Or just my natural state
I could have practiced more and didn't,
Those things likewise all shake out and that is definitely the truth

But there is another way to arrive at that conclusion, and even if you validated me on that point it would still frustrate me to no end!

Are you ready for another
Succession of characters
Completed perfectly
There are no bad poems here

I am dreaming of
Collapse
The aimlessness
Of poetry

The hopeless reach
Of poems that
I'll never read.

What a ****** poem

You found
A way into my heart
Stole a beat or two or maybe more
I've kinda lost track

Sent me reeling
I got lost inside my feelings
I'm not sure if they all made sense
But God, I can't stop looking back,

I guess, because I can't make ends of this
Fumbling my sentences
Professing things I might regret
But knowing the whole time

That ****, I gave you everything
But all you did was sentence me
And loving such a selfish person
Surely was my crime.

I hope you stay away forever,
Please consider our love severed
When the way you get your kicks
Is sick, I think I'd rather run

To the darkness of the valley
Don't you ever try to stop me
Cause I think that it's just better
If you stay away forever, empty

You said
We'd do it for all time
Well if all of time is watching us
I'd hate to be you

I had a feeling
But I never would suspect that you
Would throw it all away like this
I will shut you out forever

And yeah, you can pretend it's fine
But your crooked head is built on lies
And I hope you do regret sometimes
The life that you have led

'Cause I regret the time I waste
Just processing the awful taste
You left as you were leaving
I was hoping! I was breath(ing.)

(I) hope you stay away forever,
Please consider our love severed
When the way you get your kicks
Is sick, I think I'd rather run

To the darkness of the valley
Don't you ever try and stop me
Cause I think that it's just better
If you stay away forever, empty

Don't come looking
I have shifted
You won't find this burden lifted
You have done yourself in
Darling, you have done yourself in

Don't come looking
I feel different
All you do is take, I'm giving
All my love to someone else
All my love, all my love

(no inst, soft vox)

I hope you stay away forever,
Please consider our love severed
When the way you get your kicks
Is sick, I think I'd rather run

To the darkness of the valley
Don't you ever try and stop me
Cause I think that it's just better
If you stay away forever, (empty)

(I) hope you stay away forever,
So now, consider this love severed
When the way you live your life
Is sick, I think I'd rather run

To the darkness of the valley
Don't you ever try and find me
Cause I think that it's just better
If you just stay away forever, empty

Baby, empty, baby.... empty
Baby, empty, baby... empty

I won this heart in a radio contest.
Something so beautiful, I should put it on display
It just falls apart, whatever the context
But it does it in this very certain way.

I thought that sounded nice,
But now I'm not so sure.
Sometimes things seem dark,
Like it's knocking on a door.
Sometimes, I give up
And sometimes I get scared.
Sometimes I erupt
But like a friend, you
Were always right there.

|||

Well, they came knocking on a Sunday
Some stolen property, some terrible mistake
They told me I got time
Well, isn't life sublime?
I wonder who I'm stealing from today.

I guess I'll never know,
I guess that we're not friends
I guess I'll hold my own
When I meet the bitter end
Sometimes we find hope,
And sometimes we just go
On to the end of...
A nightmare!
.

when a dream ruptures,
and sparks fly from our bones,
does the dust of collapse breathe a life of its own?

as my limbs are flailing
and my organs are failing
does something else feel less alone?

do the depths of the night
take breath and respite
knowing lost love will be someday sewn?

when the dew in the dawn
glistens red in the sun
do you think it really knows?

Will I ever pour my blood from botched and sloppy urns
Into refined and ornate pottery?
My complex-smelling potpourri,
The exhibitions left by those great artists of history.

Grandiose. That's what they call a sense of self-importance
When your **** don't measure up
We have different views, and whose is skewed?
Of my little stream of blood.

They found Bach dusty and dead
Some ink long dried of a brilliant head
Will I ever have anything to show for it,
Was I a master of craft?

Or does death make me daft?