I named you Pluto
You seem as far
My favorite T shirt
Glows in the dark,
Exclaims to Bring you Back!
I think they meant the planet
(Stuck on that)

If I dosed myself with poison, just
To know the joy of love and trust
I'd surely fall in love with Lust
And I'd know where true love came from, dear.

And there's nothing quite so dear as you...
Because your light was pure, a Wild truth
And that turned me to the mirror
Which I shattered out of Fear.

And that leaves me with no choice but to base so much my adult life
Off of the things I learned when you were in these eyes
And you were so **** beautiful, acting out your part
At every scene a crown for art

So Bring Back Pluto!
If you can
Give El to Dis and good Shetan.
And turn each moment on its head
And turn my dreams to life,
Instead

Oh, I...
I can't pretend I understand you
I run out of breath just thinking about
How far I let you slip, you slip
Away from me, well
Anything could happen.

I fall in love so dizzy
I break my heart for everyone to see
All the little pieces
See all these little pieces?

So if you dog-eared different pages

If you

Hold them in your hands,
While they don't burn
Admit it then, you love me
Oh, will we ever learn?

I stew in a warm bath of rotten tomatoes
Misappropriated funds, lounging around
This heartbeat is loud, thumping at the door of my mind
Beating at the walls of my skull
Angry at the blasé waste of grace

The air outside swirls and blows around leaves and does what it wants,
The people chase around desire with a magnetic drive
And you met my sad girlfriend today
She is a little morose because I told her I miss being sexually free.

Living feels like asking God how long He can hold His breath

Now every inch of the mind is brave--
With tendrils recoiled from the cold outside
Slowly failing to find internal warmth

Steel railings and the dead grass of winter
Concrete barriers and withered flesh seep under my skin
To find the verdant fields of my youth...

They are here to stay, in my world they are projected:
An amalgamation of things
Rushing past my eyes
Too fast to really see, too fast for words...

Next comes summer, only my tongue is a sour piece of meat
And stones have grown throughout my body
So I look up, and out
to forget

Then a smattering of warm rain
Before winter finds my bones again,
hiding

... See the green peeking through the rubble
Of our ravaged city
And know that lysis can occur at any time,
And live intently

Then, my heartbeat knocks against itself

It's heaven or hell
Frustrated with the fruit inside

Dumb boy,
Why you write such bad poems?

The sum total of the parts
Does not miss the parts it does not lack.

Kissed on all sides by love's rainbow
Featuring ribbons of music who mention the emptiness of love,
Are you okay?

No.

Everything has changed.

I am impaled with your style,
Struck by the lightning of your sin.
I am touched by poison,
I am filled with myself.

I am changed by your chemicals
I was born in space
But I was brought a letter
Detailing all the ways you'll love me til I die.

And I did,
I thought it was soooo sweet.

Your mild eyes take up the entire sky
It twinkles hazel and your hair hangs down
It is the trees and forest animals
Your body is lakes and lakes of love
Your mind is behind it all
Urging my heart to beat,
Beat stronger
Run harder
Trust muscles to take weight
And know I'm in a sacred place

When your hands reach up to hold my head,
I'm a string of the universe being plucked
I was sitting there,
Waiting to be played
Alive to be part of some beautiful melody
And you play me like piano keys
You strum my heart like a guitar

In a perfect life,
She'd only betray you after your last breath
And it's hard to be mad when you're dead.

That's the best perspective to have on life,
Dissolution of the ego--
I know there are things difficult to behold
But that's the world you grew into,
And how will you meet it?
She wants to know

And so do you.

We lose our tempers inside her
She digests each mess for what it is
But sometimes I just think--
I'll save it for my dying day.

Your eyes got blended up
Mixed into the slurry
Though they float now in that guarded moat
That keeps me safe and blurry.

Lensed through yourself, the trees
Are being told they've sinned?
Escape your definition.
(you) Change the state you're in.

Or does the state control me?
Tell me what you see...
A mix with solid edges--
Were they meant to be?

Harvest stars,
Crisp wafer moon
In the sky's deep wine.

My favorite One.

Where if you took a hook and pulled me out from the center,
The very tip of my heart's tongue would reach.

Why do I love?
What does it mean?

It doesn't shine for me.
This is not a sun-shrine.
My billowing head, gorged with blood
Is all too real.
What should I be?
Shimmering like iridescent flowers in the springtime
Bees swarm and sew their honey

When it's warm, you spend your money.

I need not thank the sun,
But gratefully accept its line with my own
And taste the knowledge of solar cell bones.

And there you are,
Draped like a silken grace
Gossamer and green
Pining for an answer
And promising me truth.

And here I am,
Illustrating a delusion
Painting hurt into your retinas
Singing about the rain
When it's sunny.

When it's warm,
You spend your money.

What those jampacked detonators could've meant...
But time skipped ahead
They are partial duds,
My brain's anticlimax

I employ a jolt of levity,
In Zeusian style
And calamity meets calamity

Life is good again
And sweet Clarity is here
I am the little spoon,
She is holding me gingerly

It takes so much to whip me, beat me
Add a cup of sugar

And slowly pour me
Over thick slices of strawberry
That stick together.

Like promised gems
Pressed upon on your tongue
Casting their tiny incantations to each bud

They sweep away the emptiness for a moment,
They take away the pain

What you do when you're alone,
Crossing the line of what is right

Spewing demon seed inside your cell
Knowing full well of its ill health
Knowing empty well that it spells hell

Wipe it away with a sock

Just **** yourself

You are past that point and I'll still paint you spring
But you don't want to know how I do it

You are running on fumes for the rest of your life
Don't know how you can afford to live past twenty five

You are a cadaver that I keep alive because I can't stomach killing what was once a child
My neotenic love, you act cute to survive
Don't look at me with those eyes

I go back in time to look for places to cut
To find my food,
But I find you were right

I can't eat something with those big brown eyes

So I guess I'll just die

At whatever age I am then

I guess I'd just die.

i chew on my heart and spit it out
it sticks to the asphalt
***** rubber spinning, leave it behind
i only want cardiac tissue
i only want my mind.

my head's in the smog
but it wants to be in the clouds
i want to make a mountain
from this low, low ground

i retreat to meditation
i sent scouts around
the animal maze
of my brain
they return with the news:
you're insane

i tear on like gritty electric moans
only they sputter, not confident
only now regaining their cool
from some mystic faraway pool
that gives birth to decayings

Your happy sun seed fills me with gray life and terminus
How deep my darling goes, to the anchor where it stops her soul
You can be parade of motion and waving around your expressions
But right now it's a wedding that you don't want to attend.

The orange light looked sickly on the concrete, dust debris
Others might unwind here but the orange chokes Mind
Little rocks and bolts and shards of wood in radiation
Perspective crashes awkwardly on the inside of your Eyes

Copper pipes where a flippant thought breaches
The impalement scrapes the vertebrae, clicking it goes up
Feel it in the base of your skull and in your jaw

Lush green of the grass is dark at sunset
Children passing by they like the sun their clothes are neon
Pink and green, you feel like such an ugly freak
How different things are now, where that sky is coming down
You look up at the sky, paranoid and obsequious
I ripped my monkey suit.

No one understands you as the patio raises an eyebrow
The angels have their thoughts which do make sense but still you differ
Sound of tires on the gravel and you've seen enough of people
It's time ignition with no soundtrack make the pistons bring you home
Radio has sarcastic bite

So you do and slanted sunrays slice the summer air you drive in
Dusty denim crusty pleather ***** tube socks in your mouth
Takes a shower, cell phone sink table
Dripping, floral smell to wine, TV and lonely couch
To stroke it all to bed

The sound is born in the tension of a string
But what holds it tight is just a dream
And the echo tells me sweetly

I, too, must be a conduit
As dear to You as anything is
There's a deep, profound Incongruence
Between the inside and the Out

But no, I think there mustn't be
Because sometimes I feel numb.
And others, gush emotion for the
Ever-loving sun

And everything is as it should,
Unbalanced but for one
And on and on until my pretty
Chamber song is done

Mahdi struts the halls on a straight path
His Arab face snugly tucked behind his mask
He is the tech who is a strict adherent of the rules,
Aptly named
Tall and skinny

Not a favorite of the patients, largely unnoticed, works overnights
Won't always give you a snack
But he was a favorite of mine.

Mahdi walks a straight path and I think it is just ... fine!

Seed of life, seed of death:
All the twisted people swim
With their twisted little faces
On their twisted big brains

Connected by twisting nerves.
I see happy people, worried people
Despondent people, broken people
Cool people, smelly people
Hard-working and lazy people...

None of them know why they're here.

Now I'm working at the grocery store.
I'm wondering if the 80's happened
As I pick a cabbage from the wet wall and put it in a bag
And I'm saddened by the idea that all these people have a reason to hate me
Because I know
I'm the ******* star at the center of their universe.

They are cells of my body, full and devoid of purpose
Angry when I scratch my back
Seed of life, seed of death.

They are experiences held away from nothing by a certain tension
And you can feel the tension everywhere you go
Seed of life and death.

You didn't want to understand it, but now you do, and you can't go back...

And every year seems more brazen and the Chinese side of me itches

And the American side of me itches

And the whole planet just itches with death as it crawls toward itself
And clambering over itself
And the people wear their different clothes like excuses to be alive
Like they are trying to hide their nakedness
Like they want to distract me from the great ineptitude of Spirit!

We speak languages we don't know, do you think because you'd want to?
We exist divided
Bent against each other and ***** for collision
Worse than that, we don't even exist!
And all the details are just nonsense,
Reeling, unsure of their own identities
Or maybe clothed in white linen and kept safe from desolation,
What a gay promise that turned out to be!

I start to think it was me who twisted all the people,
But I'm twisting too
And I just want to straighten everything out,
Make it all okay
And I start to get scared because there are surgeons but I'm not a surgeon.

I pick up something a customer dropped in the produce section, next to the neat piles of citrus.
OH THAT'S KIND OF YOU

Yes, hello. You are ... kind of... me.
Have we always been this way?
Is it really the same every time?
Can Jesus help us, or Mohammad, or maybe the Buddha or a fireman?

Maybe a gecko that sells car insurance?

I start to worry because I've seen videos of impoverished people, or people with bad health conditions
And I worry I'm not appreciating the status of apex predator enough
I'm not jerking off enough--
How do you glorify God?
I stop my cart to let the elderly lady pass in front of me.
The bag of potatoes I'm holding bumps into my selfish ... didn't happen.

Heading towards the grocery aisles I'm thinking about concordances of self
And how it makes sense that there are stars
And celebrities
And I wonder, am I looking at how happy I was to kiss my high school girlfriend?
Am I looking at a personified version of myself telling a good joke,
Just lensed through the cosmos?
Or am I a future celebrity
Oh, but I don't want to be
Because I'd have to be worse than Adolf ******!
No... no, I couldn't be...
But yet it exists.

We don't exist. Just listen to Glass Animals. You can tell, it's weird.
You're so arbitrary without being arbitrary at all.
You're so full of odium while also being made of pure empathy.
You're giving me looks in the aisles again. You probably just said something I was thinking for the second time that day. You always respond to my thoughts these days...
I feel like you make me look at you so you can have a reason to **** me.
Nowadays when you smile at me it feels like I hired you to.

Nowadays when a family passes me I have to feel guilty, I'm a creepy man, I can't admire them.

There is no good ending to this poem, and I doubt I'll come back and finish it. I'm not trying to be like allen ginsberg and besides

Who's really reading this **** anyway...

Across the valley
Sitting in the cafe
Listening to you speak
I felt a loose piece of flesh,
Forming a hole in my definition

I'm hearing the howl of broken airlock,
Or entropy's grating nails on my skeleton,
As the lions of your life
Crash into my eye
They come out with your words

You are not a proud person,
But the universe is proud for you
Naturally, when you get up to take the day.

You can stay on that track
If you take this step by step,
If you're very careful with yourself.

(Down to the river to pray)

Strike a clear chord in my ear,
My theory's been pulverized.
Not by any blunt force but it twists and ignites and is generally unreliable
So take my twisting fingers in the palm of your voice
When I know what you are is good
Without a single doubt.

The ****** is the edge of the universe
The action is one and the same
The same is nothing
My name is Matthew.

Element is a delusion,
But you are still more than a temporary smear,
Because you are even greater than time
You are anything, here are your pooled assets
And yet you are nothing.

It just happens to be this way
Hanging like some sort of insane puzzle,
Recognize me as a great poet
Feed my ego.

All the times we shared
Were trite
And cheap
Now the ashes of
Good memories
Slide from my hands
And onto the ground

Hardly was their purpose found.

All the trips to parks
And drives at night
Lost in time
All vain, and trite

I thought I had my reason down

Now logic fails me
I'm a clown

This wasted time is no device--
For as I live this life of dice
The meaning's in the guts to roll

I never did.

It took its toll

Spring tries to grow,
But the sprouts all choke on chemicals.

The sloshing gut of Mammon
Has spilled upon the world

The **** of man exudes a toxic discharge!
Now acrid sludge will swallow up the valley.

It is strewn about by falling objects,
Censers full of fatal fire.

Censers on the sacred highways.

Censers in the holy factories.

Censers toppled
By my own two hands.

Everything is leaving heaven,
Spewing poison on the way to hell.
Everything will find its death.

The Earth smears corrosion on itself--
My heart is a lysosome.

Spring tries to grow, but it chokes on love's sick residue.

Our royal lake spilled in the ocean,
Which fell into
The sky, and I am falling

I flew well-designed eyes over the glowing Earth
It felt like the mad suspense of a psychedelic trip,
Like the buildings were about to lift off into space.

(Or maybe come crashing to the ground)

I knew I was born
In a time of great change.

In my youth I wondered
If I'd ever be great.

It seemed easy enough,
But what got in my way?

I was a minor genius with major anxiety
I believe that I hold nascent wonders inside of me
Tonight. Is there anything left
Remaining of me?

What have I done? What can you see?

I swing my leg over
And get on my bike.

I ride to the bus stop
Unborn work in my eyes.

I hope that you love me
Hope when I try
To give meaning to life
That you'll find it worthwhile.

And where are you now? You dimension in time!
Along the same thread of the Nothing Divine
In any direction just distance will find
Us romancing again, revolution no. 9

Roots drink from the winding Snake,
And roots drink from the lazy Delaware

You are the smooth petioles that anchor me
I'm coarse beneath, sort of glossy
On top.

Fall in love
the Yellow breeze
Sunsets don't
Encumber me
Don't you see where
this is going?
Don't you want
To anchor me?

Clay builds up on riverbanks,
Packed around the roots of trees.
Fire's going down the river,
Set a fire
Inside me.

Faster than the Winding Snake,
Fire's going down the river
Down the river inside me.

You are fire, wind and clay
Send your river through my veins.

I wear the wind like a necklace
And bow to the storm as I watch the river run.
The world is falling, brown and green
Orange gold, and red

You are higher
Than the Sun
Work is done, and we are strong

When I die I'll turn to clay,
According to my dream.

Fire down the cold gray river,
Where does all that water go?
Deltas lease them to the sea
Nature studied, let it go

Carry water, sons and daughters
Tend to all your dying leaves
Send your fire down the river
Give the Earth its last reprieve

I seen you around yeah...
Flicking round those plastic cards
Fiddling around with instruments
Romanticizing reproduction, and
Burning gas
To go fast
In your a u t o m o b i l e .

I never really was too impressed.
I've found better company in clouds,
And dogs,
In leaves of grass

In birds
And turds
And wilderness

In trails,
Off trails,
Way out of town

...Somewhere where you're not around.

//

Pt. 2

You seem to look at me and shrug,
So why should I not do the same?
We've had such awful things to say.
And love, it seems just trite,
And fake.

the last hit lingers

at night i wonder about wandering constellations
how they move so slowly about the sky
and how it feels when they make love

i'm underneath it all,
above it all,
and she's on top of me
and we're rolling around
in this holy bed
and it feels amazing

out here,
under the stars

and the last hit resonates on my mind,
'cause she was so sweet
but i just didn't have the time.

Suffocation suicide
Buffet, station, carry
Love meant suffocation
Love meant suicide

Reaching through the misery
An acid sludge
For a piece of psychological jewelry
Love and physics,
Love and science.

But rejoice, life is cheap!
It fell into your hands.
Marvel at the way it moves
Or move to be the marvel.

I want
Scientific precision
And
Poetic flare
But
I've sunken deep
Into my wares

I sometimes stare into space too long
I'm contemplating why I'd be so dumb
Why I'd deliberately do things that dull my brain
Or could give me cancer
But actually I understand why, it just gives me pause

So really I'm not dumb, just aware
That I'd manifest as something so stupid because to a large extent
This all is my big regret,
But only to an extent.

Meanwhile I feel like I should be lauding us
Or at least appreciating it for everything it is
All of my children, the birds
The animals and water
Trees, sprees, mountain goats
The whole lot.

But I can't reconcile one thing,
And that is myself
And how you always seem to give me ****
When I know what I am--
And if that were ever the case
Well I think that'd be very different!

Surrogate star--
Tangled in the darkness of my hair,
Cast a light I can look on and sigh
Make my universe eerie and deep.

Ectopic heart--
Now we are doomed to survive
And it's hard to be so sensitive.

My Stillborn child!
Walk with your apparatus
And remember the words to your song.

Note the level of attractiveness
As you hobble through the crypt
At least nobody thought you were wrong!

When it tucked me into bed
Was there a knife behind its back?
Warm the blanket, weft and warp
The muffled screams of burning souls.

Processed glory, tried and true
Sewing sickness into you
To comfort you, o child
In that place to comfort you.

I follow her underneath,
Passing by sad ports to citadels of death
I watch Businessmen exhale black smoke from their wretched tracheae
Of course I'll follow her underneath too
Where love is an alien thing that verily withers.

I mix blood and venom in my brain,
A way to steady myself against the immutable tide

Her gardens explode in the sunlight
Her planes fall from the sky
Her organs fail and her words decompose

Underneath it all,
Where Gwen Stefani wonders if you really love me.

Something leaves me and I grow anxious,
It's not me who follows her out there
But my body bleeding on her doorstep
Arrived just in time for a silent bullet from behind...

But the shooter could be the end of the most intricate Rube Goldberg machine--
Just a knock on the door.

Why did she change her mind?
What has she gone to find

My head aches.

It's been two stiff years
Since they dragged me through the dungeon.
I've had a hard time feeling the right emotions,
It's tedious work.

Like an old school phone operator,
I'm somewhere inside connecting wires
Sometimes the signal cuts
Sometimes I think I don't get paid enough--
The whole ordeal is really a cruel and mundane thing.

I'm left in my booth drawing cosmic doodles in the margins of my papers.

I was thinking about offing myself.

I mean, I've been thinking about quitting my job.
I brawled with demons like a man,
But one fought its way into my breath
Now I'm feeble again and my body is paralyzed with doubt.

I think I'll work something out,
It'll be something good

But tonight it's temple massage dramatic sighs,
Heavy like their drunken eyes.

Your fingerprints and footsteps make music in the disparate caverns,
Spaces where you have grown and continue to feed and prosper.

The rich can afford to play themselves little symphonies,
Describing to themselves something singular and secret,
Divining a way through the sacred vows that root them nowhere here now.

Full consequence envelopes you
Yes, sometimes with convenient skins of black,
Manufacturer plastic covers clean what keeps coming back
Black velvet gloves that feel so nice
Behind a lover's back.

Shovel dirt onto that grave and settle down with what you are,
Be a snake or an orphan--
Take care and be well.

I can't sink down into safety
Deep inside my bones
Lay them in a pile on the floor,
But I have to pick them up
Learn to be a bones virtuoso
Inject the muscles with blood,
And stir the music up.

Restart my brain, let it bleed the right way
I'm unraveling fate from the palette of myself
But to sit in stagnant color,
I have learned that is a waste.
It is not safe,
Though I languidly love the taste.

A message i had to send to the blood in my veins,
Connected by music and metaphor to a special girl
Who showed me a song
The Boy Who Blocked His Own Shot

oh coroner, coroner
a note from the boy in the corner
once someone looked down at these feet
and they belonged
now you can only see them from the outside
they are pale and empty descendants
from what was once in ways a thriving wonder

posthumously i work wonders
but they are mixed with dark poison
a poison for some, an elixir for others
and i have a deepset urge
to find it in her lips once more

a phantom that couldn't escape corrosive love
an eternal struggle i wish death--
or your hips--
could dash.

Here is where I cringe in the cradle,
Here are all the creatures fornicating on my back,
Black figurines working black to black
In this vignette I pray for a sudden urge to stay
To steady a vessel
Towards better days

The midnight shoreline makes a ****** edge in my mind
That black world of fornication is my clothing,
My nothing,
To her I am a black figurine
I spin stories in the night
Dark magic sparks from my fingers
Still alive with youth and vigor

I stare into the wall
Solid, banal
And I hope I get bored of it
Soon

A problem
Is just as funny
As a joke.

Well, my worries just dissolved for a moment,
Because you find so much happiness in the grass
And we chased each other around
With pieces of plants

We're wild fairies buzzing through the garden

It's hard to manage two rivers at once
So we just make a big splash in the bath

Up, out, and over the mountains we'll go
Away from the city and into a strange world
Where the wild tangles shift and turn
And we bow to them and walk through like two kittens

But break all the sticks and play in the mud
Because I believe you're a steward, if there ever was one
Oh, I could lick your teeth a thousand times in an hour

If only I fell in your eyes when you smiled

I'm not surprised
It's my disguise
Tear at my eyes
My fate is light
I'm not your mother
And I ain't your daddy neither
Might be your brother
Am I my brother's keeper?

You're a devil
Late when you fall
You're an angel
You done it all

You're a devil
Late when you fall
You're an angel
You done it all

What if I died?
I'd be alright
We all survive
This structure fine
Swaddle my babies
Teach them to drive a stickshift
Don't vaccinate me
I think I'm viraddicted

You're a devil
Late when you fall
You're an angel
You done it all

You're a devil
Late when you fall
You're an angel
You done it all

When we disagree
It's polite to cover up
Thresholds break
It's time to **** em up
You can't save me, you can't save me
I was forced to be a person with these properties forever

You're a devil
Late when you fall
You're an angel
You done it all

You're a devil
Late when you fall
You're an angel
You done it all

You're a devil
Late when you fall
You're an angel
You done it all

You're a devil
Late when you fall
You're an angel
You done it all,

Forgive

The depth of your ineptitude--
Uncalloused skin is a lie.
The world is my callous,
And i am not so sensitive.

I know death like the back of my hand
For every disgusting swine that said i'm not cultured enough
I haven't read enough books
I haven't listened to enough of Gabriel's pointless rambling--
I know death like the back of my hand

And i am the master of this universe,
Not you,
Though you may be some high, or re-processed version of myself
You cannot be anything except me
Because i am everything

And if i have made you my *****
I have made myself my *****,
So *******.

I am the best poet here,
Though you may disagree,
I am also the only audience,
Though this may appear strange to me!

Karen will not be allowed
To speak to a manager
Because
She is not even real
A ***** in the Wind

Nothing you see is not yourself!
And your eyes pulled them up in the shape that they would

When the sting of another enters the room
A threat on your wife, or on your property

So you cannot be the stellar musician but you'd rather listen
So, always pine after what's never given

So I scream to God YOU LET THEM PRACTICE BUT NOT ME!! YOU CULTIVATED THEIR EFFORTS BUT NOT MINE!!
And Dad answers back that it's my choice...

And from the quantum foam between these two notions springs Gabriel, singing
"You are a circle, you will always be complete"

I cannot calm my frothing blood
We operate on the tension that rends and renders me
Disa bowed briefly saying
You don't read, you write

You are all my ideas
And I want the blame
I want the credit
YES HONEY I WANT EVERYTHING
THESE ARE ANGRY WORDS BUT I WANT TO BE CALM
I AM CALM RIGHT NOW
I WANT PEACE
I WANT TO BE SATIS
I WANT EVERYTHING
I LOVE YOU

nevermind I'm just gonna chill

Oh, I...
I can't pretend I understand you
I run out of breath just thinking about
How far I let you slip, you slip
Away from me, well
Anything could happen.

I fall in love so dizzy
I break my heart for everyone to see
All the little pieces
See all these little pieces?

So if you dog-eared different pages

If you

Hold them in your hands,
While they don't burn
Admit it then, you love me
Oh, will we ever learn?

You're a stone like the moon
Mottled with fated freckles
Nestled in her hand, feeling the vibrations of an alien language

We're talking about what an idiot you are.
Foggy mornings, lost in thought
Pizza and ranch dressing for breakfast.
Pajama pants, dewy grass
The cream and sugar coffee palette bath,
And...
Sink.

The wide plane of stratus drifting overhead
Like the biggest, silliest hat in the universe.

You're an ape wearing fuzzy socks.
And you're best friends with a dog.
You're a polyp lost in a storm of thoughts.
You're a garden full of moss.

You're a dreamer with a purpose.
You're a singer in a band.
You're a trekker on a journey,
You're a stone inside my hand.

No,
You're not the one whose hair escaped you
From the chemo treatments
Roving for potable water
Or on a diet of only rice for three years

No,
You're not the one who is just about leaving
Sitting in prison for crimes the universe made you do
Or the one beat half to death by a troupe of enraged hominids

But don't you think it's sad you have to do that?
Like Jesus Christ
Bent to yourself
Like Mohammad Blessed Be His Name
Forced to prophecy what kills you
Like the Buddha
With your ***** desires
Accessing higher dimensions fully aware of your ineptitude?

Sitting in a mansion crying
Covered in peanut butter,
Crying to the moon
You are almost the same size as the sun in the sky
What the hell is that supposed to mean?

You definitely hit the nail on the head
But wasn't it into your own?

Was it the best thing or the worst
And never having a metric to judge it against?

Don't you think

Don't you think

But don't you think it's sad you had to do that?

Bead, be my prison
Relinquish me.

I don't know if I like that poem
But I love those tapping thumbs...

You will never be my savior
But my ever gushing poet
Bleeds for me
On the scene
Where it seems as if we know it

It's from Africa they say,
Is our love so fossilized?
I don't doubt our history
I just doubt what is inside

And then they changed
The white monkeys
And they scratch up at the sky
Are you proud? Do you regret it?
Do you love the way you lie?

Adam no,
Eve a story
That admits a culture stark

There were other
Ways to say
We're alone inside the dark

inside feels like a wild howl
something i cannot really swallow
nor rattle the air
with enough depth nor gravity

muscles seek the configuration
no, they hang loose and wallow
and why don't they dare?
apathy turns my days
wan, sickly shades

when i face myself with the joy of life
when the configuration is found
i feel i have opened the gate of heaven
i am surprised to find
i can sing a beautiful song!

yet
my sob, the deepest well, so't feels
inside my throat, when i cried in jail
her naked, cheating body, steel
when three years have not cooled these tears

american ways of feeling pain
i'll never feel that way again
it's only a life sentence, and
i only love her once.

"I hacked your brain,"
It said
But you will never prove it happened.

We are running on your circuit
And I live to take advantage.

You're the one who's always true
We should give our lives to you
But I saw it
Running rampant
And I built a little mill there

From the mill we made our millions
And I will admit I mocked you
In the final execution
But this is just your crazy poem.