I guess you call all the shots
The big eye in the sky
You're always letting me slide

And I've been working for you
And when I swallow the truth
It tastes like boiled blood and you don't know why

Cause you don't understand
What I'm saying these days
Some crazy nonsense
What if every time it's the same?
And how can I
Be the one who decides
And I'm in partial control
Of our misconstrued wreck of a life?

Misfirings, misgivings
Is that all we're made of
And you're my accuser?
I'm tired of living
We're secret abusers
An eye for the cancer.


I guess you call all the shots
The big eye in the sky
You're always telling me lies

And i've been hurting

She knows she's not pretty
Don't assume that she thinks she's bossing

An ego that keeps dissolving
And returning despite knowledge
It feels like living just to drown

More alcohol, please
Give me the shakes I don't care
I've become an insufferable fool
And you're my ever-loving Tool

I don't even want this anymore
Don't bring me up just to fall

Your captain's in the water
She was more than just the sea
Who housed all kinds
Of Analogies--

You can lick it twice and salute if you want
But I don't think any of us truly understands.

We pre-suppose notions
They make fools out of us
Before, after and during the act of making love.

My insanity is nothing I can't manage--
So warn me if you must
But this is not your captain speaking,
This is Pixie Dust.

While demons cackle, cracks form on
The edges of my lips.
So! Let us all pretend
That this is not a sinking ship.

You can't just casually contain a future tragedy
Set aside for me,
And then pick me apart over time about the quality of my existence
When it's always the same

You just expect me to understand I'm wrong

You can come at me with everything you have,
Believing into your bone marrow that your anger and hatred for me is the right thing--
But the truth is it's not my fault

I will carry every cross
I will fall every time fate calls

You are so sure of yourself
You have such a problem with me

But it just doesn't matter

I am eternally ******, we all are
But you think you can just attack me before the fate I'm stuck with even happens,
Before the ugly faces I suppose i'll be forced to show even come around.

You're hard to carry, you know that? But I guess you don't care.

When I fold into myself I hear the birds
Canary songs and harpy eagles
Great blue herons and red-winged blackbirds
They push aside what would be a triumphant understanding of physics
Pushing air with their wings

And they push songs from their throats,
But it's not only birds I hear when I turn inwards
I hear people screaming, buildings collapsing
And the distended cries of twisting minds

I hear those half-realities that did not fit
I hear the passionate souls that wanted to bloom

And it's a sure thing that you distilled out physical law
Sure as my liver rinses the alcohol
But when I fold into myself
I just see the faces who have done it all

And then I hear noise
Birds and bullets
Car crashes and TV static
Mouths chewing, flowers blooming
The four winds gusting through my ears...

I can try to fall in love
With your secret abuse
If it's just a few bruises
Just a few dead dreams
We can rework it all and get on top

Where we can cover up the truth
Hold them under water
While we fake the chance to save someone
And play our little hero game

We will never fall
Because it's once and for all
And the dregs are simply obligations
To break the ties of desolation

You automaton,
You necessitation.

You empty hole,
You faceless demon.

With each pang of awareness i feel it ending
But what pervades eternity can never end
And so my awareness is nothing

With exact replicas in every direction,
But we just haven't completed the circuit yet
I am nothing

I can feel it ending
Consolidating
Black holes colliding in my brain.