I’m not used to being asked
For my opinion
My point of view
My thoughts
My feelings
What I want to do.
It’s not important.
I’m not important.
I don’t matter.
All my life
I’ve just been told
What to do
(Whatever you want to do)
What to say
(Whatever you say, or nothing at all)
What to believe
(Whatever you believe)

Always treading on eggshells
Holding my breath
Afraid to say the wrong thing
Do the wrong thing
Be the wrong thing
That would spark a spiteful retort
Piercing my heart
And dashing my dreams.
Acting always in fear of consequences
And never living at all

There’s two ways to live,
Love
Or
Fear.
One is expansive.
The other restricting.
One is joyous.
The other painful.
One is unknown.
The other known.
But the uncomfortable comfort zone is no place to be.
Instead
Take a leap of faith
For it is only then you will learn to fly,
Like the baby bird leaving the safety of its nest for the first time,
It’s what it was destined to do.
So although it feels strange and scary,
It’s the only way to love, joy and freedom.
So trust,
Throw yourself off the cliff
With wild abandon
And wait for the wonderful experiences,
The dizzying heights,
The low valleys and dales,
Knowing God has your back
And you are fearless and undefeatable with God in your heart

I did what you did
I said what you said
I felt what you felt
I believed what you believed
I was what you thought I should be
I was so well hidden
I might as well been dead

We are here to remember who we are,
To become our true selves,
Not to learn, because we already know deep inside,
We just need to remember.
And you’ve had more than enough experience of what you’re not over the years,
Now is the time to experience what and who you really are,
To live with joy, love and passion,
Now is the time to let go of the fear and everything that’s been holding you back,
To be kind, to you and everyone,
To trust others and yourself.
With every thought, word and deed
Now just breathe and relax and enjoy the ride!

Always keeping busy
No time
To stop and stare
No time
To hear and smell
No time
To touch and feel
No time
To appreciate beauty all around
No time
To support those less fortunate
No time
For joy
No time
At all
Only time
To be busy
Silly fool,
For time slips through fingers like dust
Ever advancing towards the end
Upon the final judgement
Reflecting on your life’s work
Knowing you fully lived
Or were dead
Years before your time

I know I am in need of humility Lord,
To throw off my shackles of insecurities,
Of needing to feel significant,
For only you need bear witness to the impact from my good deeds,
To know the impression from concentric rings
Of my thrown stones of kindness
Rippling out in the water of life.
Not others.
Not me.
I just need to let go,
To trust you,
To trust others,
To trust me,
And know the timing is ok,
I’m here now,
Imperfect yet ready
To serve you in whatever way you have chosen for me,
And to throw myself into others with kindness and compassion,
Starting with myself.
And to know I have your divine strength to help me bravely fight and overcome evil,
So I drown no more in the murky mud and tangled weeds of tumbled thoughts of negativity and insults,
And instead show others the way
Of truth.

When your mind is full of trouble and strife
Take a deep long breath and
Go inwards
Listen
Honour
Be patient
Be kind
To yourself
For your soul is desperately
Trying to get your attention
To help join the dots
To speak it’s truth
And bring you peace

I can see now
How you were not intimidated by the lashing out
From her own hidden agenda
Fighting others people’s fights
Instead of her own,
Born of fear
Of her dementor,
Fears
That we all buy into
So easily, too easily.

And then there was I,
So naturally and easily,
Yet surprisingly,
Helping her shape and bend her lightening rod
With love, acceptance and understanding
To set her on her way
On a new direction
To sail the seas to who know where
But one of her choosing
And also knowing the door’s still unlocked
If and when the time is right

I’ve been an observer all my life
Eavesdropping on other people’s lives
A bystander
Not living at all
With people talking about me, around me, behind me, at me, but not with me.
Today I was in it
I was involved
I was a participant
I was part of adult conversation
I was equal
No longer on the edge
Looking in
But fully participating in my life
And it felt wondrous
And oh so new

Overthinking
Leads to one thing,
Doing Nothing.

Standing in her hard fought power and glory
Like a Phoenix risen from the ashes
Ready to take on the world
To protect those in need
And to stand firm
Against the cowardly oppressors
Of the truth

Listen to your inner voice of wisdom,
Notice the signs and people around you,
For they are there to help you remember,
To remember who you truly are,
A wondrous amazing being,
Know you are loved
Unconditionally,
Whatever, wherever and whenever you err,
Because you have free will
It’s down to you,
It’s your choice to live from love,
Or from fear,
But know you will receive back what you dish out,
You will attract what you focus on,
So choose wisely

Oh Lord,
Give me patience,
Forgiveness,
Understanding,
Gentleness,
Compassion,
And­ kindness,
Towards myself and others,
And ever lasting gratitude
For your perseverance
And tenacity
In never giving up on me,
And for your unconditional love
For all of me,
Warts and all,
Eternally yours
Thank you.
Amen

Regrets.
Such a wasted emotion
For what can you do
About what is past.
Certainly you can choose to examine what happened
But objectively
In terms of cause and reaction
Explore what was said and done that led to x, y, z,
That way you can stop repeating
Your sins  
And choose a different path
A healthier way
For you
For me
For the universe

Just do it
Just because it feels good
Just because you want to
Just because your soul desires it
Just because

Choose love not fear.
Two choices with every thought, word and deed.
After 50 years of living in fear,
Now is the time to let go,
To experience love and joy,
To let love in your heart,
To start truly enjoying this life,
And appreciate the world around you in all its glory and wonder

Sink or swim,
That is the question.
The seductive abyss,
Or the choppy waves,
Which choose you?

The mermaid of the deep
Beckons,
Seductively calling
My name,
“Come hither,
Come rest your weary head”.
No! It’s a lie!
There’s no rest in that direction,
Only torment and pain and confusion.
So reluctantly at first,
I rise above it,
I feast my eyes beyond,
I float,
And swim safely to shore,
Slowly, exhaustedly,
But more
Stronger every time,
I resist the urge
To drown

What is true?
What is not?
Is that demon speak?
Ego speak?
Soul speak?
It’s all true.
It’s all not true.
So where does that leave me
Other than confused...

Trust is a choice,
We choose to trust
Or we choose to mistrust,
Often based on our past
Rather than the moment and the person in front of us,
Choosing to tarnish them with the same brush
As those who mistreated us
Those who did not have our best interests at heart.
Trust is a choice,
But do yourself a favour
And trust from the present
Trust from the heart
Trust until proven to the contrary

There’s no time to waste,
Live with passion and purpose,
Love with all your heart, and
Bring joy, kindness and peace
To all you meet