my mind is a jukebox
playing music on repeat
for an audience of one
and for free
some days it's a new song
other days it's a commercial jingle
but
most days it's your laugh

you were a virus,
polluting my mind and veins,
and I'm the fool that trusted you
now I left digging deeper and deeper into my skin
just trying to get every single piece out of my system before it kills me

The nurses check my pulse as I lie on the cot they run me down the hall on
I can’t feel anything…my neck, my arms, my legs…what happened to me?
I remember feeling so depressed it was crippling
I remember having a couple glasses of wine whilst chatting with come online friends
I remember reviewing some other author’s short stories instead of writing my own

I remember the grotesque ,***** ,butterfly, ***** feeling in my stomach
I remember wanting to cry for no reason…
These feelings haven’t been within my body for at least the past 6 months
Not since crazy Arizona guy broke up with me when I called him out on his abusive ways
No, this was similar, but different.

Lately I’ve been stressed about financial issues
But what else is new?
I’m reviewing other dark works and getting paid very little
What else is new?
People are stealing my blogs for their own because they have no imagination
What else is new?

Eat ****: I’m moving to Korea
My big bang for 2016
Welcome to book #4….

waking up
now reminds me more of
digging up bones,
rather than skipping stones.

water isn't all that I hyped it up to be.

I drove miles and miles just
to discover
that the heat was broken,
and that your affection
is more of an illusion
than an authentic token,
wrapped in ***
and compassion.

Through metal weights
and steel plates,
I make a living.

Through some sort of
endless storm,
I will live

the darkness will ultimately illuminate all of the light and altruism that we have to bring to this world.

--

In the depths of my basement
Hidden behind the christmas decorations
And under the family albums
Lies a box waiting to be discovered
It holds a legend from a bygone era
The atari 2600
It may be the grandfather of gaming
But it still plays like it's 1977
It's been going strong for forty years
But my laptop called it quits after five
You have to start with the classics
Like Pacman pitfall and pong
Galaga asteroids and dig dug
All of them in glorious 8 bits
A throwback to simpler times
When there were no updates to download
Nothing to install to the hard drive
12 year Olds didn't mock you online
It was just you and a joystick