when you wallow in the past, the past is your future
dark days behind become dark days ahead
when those ghosts become your rulers
join them, because you're already dead

a needle brushes pink flesh
slips beneath fragile skin
an endorphin-rush
feeding sweet addiction

adrenaline thunders in eardrums
a gallop of wild stallions
stampeding past neurological valleys
shuddering eternally within

an itch
that must be
scratched

a thirst
that can't be
sated

a lust
always
anticipated

i'll suffice
to be sedated
with self-hatred
isolated from my muse
in snow-swathed Iowa

a heroine in her own story
and ****** in mine

I wish i was exaggerating on how its always one good thing then a string of bad.

My luck is always the worst, i always complain about how i'm cursed. But i'm not lying, it ***** how hard im always trying. Good fortune just doesnt come my way that much, when it does its always just a touch.

It never hangs around, it always feels like I'm hell bound. Why can't I just be free? Why can't I just say "I'm glad to be me"?

I hate my luck, and its not just my attitude. I always try to have gratitude!

The universe just hates me, what rotten luck! I wish the majority of things that happened to me didnt ****. I wish it didnt feel like im being tested, i just want to feel rested! I want to have a break from this, i want to have a turn in being surrounded by bliss. I want things to work in my favor, not always tasting a bitter flavor.

Somday ill get my turn, someday ill be free but until then....its just bad luck and me.

It's not going to be today, you're just going to keep pushing it farther and farther back

Someone please hold me back from breaking something