Should I believe in a higher power
That I can not touch, see, or feel?
That lets innocent people be broken
Then worship him to heal

Should I trust that he is the reason
That I live every day
If I need a miracle
Drop down on my knees and pray

I don’t know how I feel
Or what I should believe
My god had forsaken me
Left me feeling naive

I want to trust
That he has purpose for me
From this indecision
I long to be free

Is blind faith a sign
Of strength or weakness
This indecision
Leaves me sleepless

I loathe myself for loving you
Despise the way I care
I continue to throw myself at your feet
Lay my heart out bare

You are self-centered and thoughtless
Living your life without regard
For a child you left behind
Is saying “I love you” really that hard?

Why do you distance yourself?
Is it because I remind you of my dad?
All the pain you caused
And the life you could have had?

Though I walk a fine line
Of replicating your mistake
I know I won’t
The thought makes my chest ache

I want to repair our relationship
I long to let my heart mend
Make up for lost time
Before we reach the end

We laid in the grass
In the park by the school
Listening to the music
And the laughter from our friends
As the tears rolled down my face
All I could think was
How lovely it would be
To be in your arms
Instead of under them

I lost myself trying to become
Everything you wanted me to be
Now you are gone
and I am finally free

But who am I?
I don’t know
I’ve lost your directions
Unsure of where to go

The future is uncertain
I fear the unknown
How will I fare
In the world all alone?

I will slowly transform
Become the real me
The one that I
Was always meant to be