Theres nothing like writting on pages and filling them with your mind

sighs

"You really shouldn't mope around you know"
.....
"Hey you could at least say something ya know"
......
tilts head up and sees glossy eyes
"sighs you just had to die huh? I guess I forgot how fragile you get, maybe you'll be more talkative tomorrow"

Does anyone else get angry enough to the point that it blows your sickness away

Umm should I just go to bed then........?

Shivering at the thought of you making even more guy friends, talking to them, and getting to know them better

"Don't ever let her go to bed crying and upset"
*what about him?

"Oh M, you look like a wild beast"
walks over toward body
heavy fast breathing, blood flowing from cut across torso
"Your eyes are nice and glossy too, like little pearls"

"911 what's your emergency?"

She didn't treat me like a soulmate

"Sir I am an operator for this emergency line, not a counselor or physiatrist. Do you have an emergency or not?"

Yes, she treats him more like a soulmate than she did with me.

If you're into my poems, follow me on Twitter for similar tweets
Username: @SuishoKaigan

I wonder what you thought while I went on a "date" with her....I wonder if you were hurting....

I don't like it whenever you say you have to leave.....mostly because I don't want you to go, but also because I'm sad you most likely text him while we're not talking....

Someone please hold me back from breaking something

Would you yell at me to hold your hand and touch your face while you held my limp body and brushed my pale face?

You know you're really out of energy when you can't even get negative energy from painful memories

We look at each other a lot, pretending to look at the teacher but looking the others way to see where the others eyes are fixed. I wonder what you think when we play this game of looking at each other then darting our eyes away when we're caught.
I wish I could know what you're thinking when I look at you.

"She probably was doing her makeup for her boyfriend and they're probably on a date right now. Maybe he's getting lucky too ;)"

How do you fix something that has so many large holes in it? How do you fix something's that's that broken? How do you fill the holes and cracks when nothing will stick? How can you heal my heart with love when it just seeps through the cracks and holes....I am broken. I don't think I can ever be fixed....

Parents divorcing
Grades failing
Soulmate with another guy
Wishing I would die
In the end I sigh

"Your personality dropped by another 20 degrees"

And?

Sext: make me feel again.....stab me right where my heart used to be before it was abused

walks to cabinet
"Are you are you, coming to the tree? They strung up a man. They say who murdered three. Strange things did happen here no stranger would it be. If we met at midnight, in the hanging tree."
gets painkillers
"Are you are you, coming to the tree? *opens bottle Where dead man called out, for his love to flee. Strange things did happen here, no stranger would it be. If we met at midnight, in the hanging tree"
*swallows pills

I promise to love you unconditionally and wholly, in sickness and in health, in poverty and in wealth and to inspire you to be a better person in a little way each day and always respect and listen to what you have to say.
I promise to stay at your side, for better or for worse, to never leave you because you are a blessing and not a curse. To support your dreams and thoughts, and to cry with and hold you during our roughest spots.
Today I take you to be my wife, for you I would gladly give up my life.
I take this ring as a reminder for our lasting commitment to one another. I take this ring as a symbol to stay loyal to each other.
I have only but a single life, and I now pledge it to you my one and only wife.

5 minutes after would have been fine....
10 after would have been too.....
It's been an hour.....where are you?

It's been four years since I last wrote anything here; reading my past stuff makes me squirm a little at how dramatic I was back then but I guess I haven't changed as much as I would like to believe. I'm not really sure what I want this account to be now; before it was obvious that it was just an outlet to let my negative emotions out but I'm past that part in my life, I think? I guess I just want to say what I feel and not worry about how it will change how people see me.
That already sounds pretty shallow though doesn't it? I think so, but I don't want to trouble anyone or make them feel bad for me. Its strange that after all this time of feeling at least okay to really good, I'm starting to feel sad again; I wonder why that is? I guess it's because I feel like no one cares about me as much as I care about them. It's hard to believe someone when they say they care about you and then when you try to reach out you don't hear back from them. I get that everyone is busy, I'm pretty busy too, but you don't have enough time to spare a few seconds to reply?
That's where the problem comes in you see? I can't tell anyone that because all it will do is make them feel bad and create a fake version of what I'm looking for. I guess what I really want is for someone to genuinely care enough to just take the 5 seconds to say something back, I already did the hard part by saying something first right?