said no one
who had success
If I'm not at the top
I haven't reached it
yet

the sheets
the screams
the melodrama, the fights, up talking
late at night in firelit circles
that tigers are trained to jump through
the battles, the wounds, the baggage
overflowing garbage -
Who’s turn is it to empty it now?
Mine or yours
As crazy us as this -
I would never miss being between
the extremes with you

a garden with golden strand
pearls of dewdrops. Even if
the rain stops not a day
go by where a flower

wilt and dry. She’d fill
the rivers and seas so they'd
spill into the land. Every town
build a dam to hold it all in. She's a

tsunami that drowns a whole
army with her water bucket showering.
Like a running faucet that rips in-
between skips of heartbeats and

butterflies. She'd implode
the tallest building from her dripping
into ceilings. Shatter all the glass
in one fell pass. I remember the cold

December when her eyes froze as
lakes. Right there on her face
I could skate a figure eight. It’s been
the longest winter. Tears are

splinters that cut across my skin, like
peeling an onion, layer after layer. Now
her eyes are flames. A crimson rose
buried under the April snow.

bye. Is there is good
in bye? The letters
are strung together, like bird
feathers, and fly between the tides

and sighs. They're pushed
in breath and pen, in cards that
men and women send. It's just
become a greeting at the close of

every meeting. And then? The hands
on the clock move on. And night
becomes the dawn. And memories
are a fawn running past us till we strike

them moving. And they are dead on
the side of the road. Some disproving. But it
doesn't lighten  the load.I left as autumn leaves
in a gusty breeze of colors, from red to yellow.

And it’s blank
So, I fill it up every day
With something
Meaningful to say
And then I release it
Out there
I hope that you will
Catch it
Before it disappears
I hope that you will
Hold it
Up against your heart
I hope that you will
Take of it
Something that
You can use
You know I’m only
Too willing
To give it all
To you

falling from the sky. I dissolve
as I touch the bottom. I wanted to be
a sunbeam so, I can shine. Dancing between
the clouds, cutting up the sky and dripping
strawberry wine.

I’m an ice-crystal
with points prickly as a thistle. I wanted
to be sparling as a diamond. But I turned out
thin as a *****.

I'm powder dust
blowing as a sneeze, showering the earth
in a blizzard of broken branches. I wanted to be
lightening in flashes so, I can crack up the sky. Split
the moon with my hide.

I won't need the bottle
or a teddy bear.
I won't need a blanky
or a lullaby in the rocking chair

If I can be your baby
I won't need a cuddly doll
a satin dress
or a trip to the mall

If I can be your baby
I won't need a Christmas present,
even if Santa sent it!
I won't need a chocolate bar
a candy-cane or electric guitar.

A pink bicycle with a basket -
I would not ask it
if I had you.
I would not need the sun or the moon,
an ocean breeze.
or a swing on a tree.

I would have
the sun as you smile
the stars as you wink your eyes
an ocean breeze is your stride
the strum from a guitar in your words
your voice dancing as a mockingbird's
your lips sweet as sugarplums

And if the day came
that I was your baby?
Hell, just the idea is making me crazy!

down this rage. It’s growing
for days. It started small as a ping-pong
ball. Then climbed the size of
a watermelon. I smashed it with

a bat. But it grew back. The seeds
rooted in the dirt. Now my rage is big
as the earth. I swallowed the sun and breathed

out fire. I burned man, every coward
and liar. My rage became rampant as a forest
in flames.  A path of collapse none
can tame. My red rage covers the sky

in a ****** blanket of sighs. Now it's pelting
execration. And stands in formation of
every line I pen. It's a blend of bat **** and
cockroaches hidden in nostrils, and dancing
in gritted teeth. A smoldering ember underneath.

in a yellow daffodil.
Gave a cornflower sky
a black eye.
And I still didn't get

my fill of him.
He was a scouring pad,
a crustacean, a crawdad.
There was little meat

to him.
Lots of mouth
and swashbuckling trim.
And I fell head over

feet into his walls
and lilac sheets. Drowning in
a sea of green, a young girl's wish
to fill an old woman's dream.

so, I can shoot
to the moon. Rip out
March, April and May. I’ll just
skip straight

to June. Make a hole
in the ground so, I can pour in
the rain. I’ll build a pool, swim
and sip champagne. Every “no”

I’ll add a “d” so, they’ll all
Nod at me. Life is play if
you tweak a thing or two. It’s like
rockets in my shoes!

We ditched the festering rage
resentments that eat the guts even out’ve the sage
the pompous self-righteousness
the arrogance and unthankfulness
the keeping scores
the two-faced judgements behind closed doors
the questions and comparisons
Gawd! we all are charlatans
the busy lives consumed with greed
we’re all hostage
to wants deemed needs

What if instead we
learned forgiveness
and release
to feel
no apathy
listen
without thought
hold our judgements
and the lot
just be kind to one another
without expectations
of the other
now there’s a thought
isn’t it
This is something –
What If

If there’s a chance
I’ve got to take it.
No romance
is going to break it.
In the end
I’m going make it.
If I believe, If believe
I Believe

Nobody’s words
are going to hurt me.
They're all are nerds,
who desert me.
Let it go
Let it go
Let it go

If there’s a chance
I’ve got to take it.
No romance
is going to break it.
In the end
I’m going make it.
If I believe, If believe
I Believe

If I fall
I’ll get up
Give it my all
Never give up
Rise above
Rise above
Rise above

there was you. You were my
sun and my moon. When you pulled
away I replaced your warmth and smile,
your love and understanding with

a bottle of 100 proof. Now I'm deep in over
my head. And you're here again. But I
have a new lover that I turned to
when you ran for cover. You let me

down profoundly. And ***** was
there during my breast biopsy. And when
I needed a friend ***** was there again. So,
maybe this is a case of  a little too late.

like a hornet
black tie yellow jacket
singing like a sonnet
letters tied in a packet

bright red and burning
welts dancing in pain
tossing and turning
he Tarzan, I his Jane

I didn't see him land
off in a trance of gin
cannot say life is bland
he's underneath my skin

I pen it in blood ink
with ice to cool the swelling
and as I slowly sink
epoxy for the telling

falling like acorns
under my feet. If I collect them
all I’d have a bowl of nuttiness. I
don’t get what people expect these

days. There’s enough love to go
around. But it seems like some poor slob
is always starved. When you’re young you
never have to ask for affection. Everyone

ooh and ah’s, you, wants to hold you. They pass
you around. You feel like a horse on the merry-
go-round. But when you lose your chubby cheeks
and grow a pair of ******* things look bleak. Those

same people that wanted to hold you
now want to f@*#k you and break
your heart. I had a river, a river of dreams –
now I have a barrel full of monkeys

I'm alone. I'm a raging river;
he's a jagged stone. I dance around
him in the billowy air. He's fixed
as a toilet on his stare. He's a ship

in moor. Not a thing I can
procure. The two of us,
a heavy tanker, weighing me
down like an anchor. My wing

is clipped. I cannot fly. I've been
stripped, ****** and tied. I lost myself
next to him. The silk shades drawn.
The light is dim. All I learned

undone. My ****** pen is now
finespun. I'll plant him in
my rose bush yard. As a scarecrow
to stand guard.

his lies
like pieces of glass
cutting her hollow
as they fall and they pass

She swallowed
her pain
inflating like a balloon
following her around
like a cheese wheel moon

She swallowed
her tears
like salt on the rim
and threw away years
on the likes of him

She swallowed
his memory
like a bitter pill
weighing her down
after all this time still

and I spend so much time
together. We rise like a flower in the morning
and shower. Sing of butterfly wings
and what this day could bring. Could it be

something new, like Cinderella’s shoe? Sometimes
we argue about our forsakenness. And my friend
loneliness hits me over the head with this. She says
“you got me” why do you need anyone else? I tell her

sometimes it’s nice to step outside myself. Then she pours
me a long cool drink so I don’t think of anything
she has to say. I wash it down with a frown and think
tomorrow’ll be a better day.

It tells me
do this
I don’t listen
It tells me
don’t do that
I don’t listen
I think
therefor
I’m not

blue as aqua man and tide

You are the wind
pushing through my pantaloons
in the middle of the afternoon
embarrassing me
as you play your flute
with a toot, toot, toot

You are the leaves
a fallen souffle
as a crater
no one would savor
crackling
crumbling
as a stale cookie
left out
you might
entice a mouse

when the circle circles
to nowhere
refresh
fix connection problems
you refresh
but it doesn’t solve your problems
the servers down
you go around checking this
to come up with no less
everything else is in sync
except the site you’re retrieving
relax, ok
check your breathing
it’s going to be one of those days
you can feel it
try again
before you appeal it
to the site master
tell him getting in
has been a disaster
and you’ve enough
call his bluff
listen snooki
I’m going somewhere else
with my cookies

made with good intention/broken without redemption
meaningful ones with clear eyes and goodwill
deceitful ones behind shame and still
looking for more promises than apple trees and honeybees
and snow-white turtle doves
because there’s hope in each one
and they seem to emit a foreverness that one can
never predict but hopes for in the future

happens tomorrow. I said it
and I meant it. But how many
times have I swallowed my words?
They taste like onions
and liverwurst. They go down
hard like a leather shoe. And twist
my uvula like a Rubik’s cube.

as a clown
with a red smile
and make-up
a trick or two
to shake up
you from feeling down

Do you wear hurt
as a cloud
grey and pouring rain
making puddles
from the pain
you splash in
take a bath in

Do you wear hurt
as a lion
roaring loudly
pouncing on unsuspected prey
digging in claws
biting with jaws into the flesh
of the day

Do you wear hurt
as a tea kettle
simmering on the stove
till the heat underneath
makes you blow off steam
and you turn leprechaun green

on her apple cheeks
between her egg white peaks
and the cherry rose
she calls her nose.

Planting kisses
in her wheat spaghetti hair
scented like ocean
air.

Planting kisses
on the crook of her nape
tasting like strawberry
crepes.

Planting kisses
down her spine till
she tingles, on her toes
and on her wrinkles.

Planting kisses
on her wispy arms,
that spread like wings
and her open palms.

Planting kisses
on her bellybutton, and
fingertips. So many
places to kiss, not only lips.

I am bolder because
I’m older. I’ve been torn
down so many times that I’ve taken

the scraps from the wreckage
and used them as newspaper to line
the walls of my living room. Crafty am I,

and not too soon to spread the germ
like a balloon. Have it float out to sea,
like a folded note placed in the hollow

of a plastic bottle
for someone to read. And if it lands
on one then I’ve done my deed.

a drop of water
to start a flood

one gunshot wound
to end someone’s life –
too soon

It takes
one match
to start a forest fire

one laugh
in the wrong place
to stop a heart’s desire

It takes
one decision –
to change
a life preordained

one kind word
to make somebody’s day

one step –
and you’re on your way!

Let me not be sleepers,
the crusty molecules that hoard
your eyes as ants on a paltry crumb
of chaste sandwich meat. So easily disinfected
by the morning wash.

Let me not be the paper wrapper
around your drive-through burger. Even though
I carry the flavor and the grease
long after the meal is gone.

It Runs

as a rip in my stocking. It grows with
movement. We never sit still. We’re never
perfect. There are other ones, newer,

in-tact. They don’t get ripped. They sit
still, inside they’re cartons.  When they
come out they’re careful.  So careful they wear

gloves. To be worn is to be stretched and
misshapen into something else. The last result
was a giant hole. That pair was thrown

out. We’re too smart for that. We have
too much class. We can stretch without tearing.

It needs a laxative
to push gently through
this tightened-up ***
you’re not bullet-proof
you’ve swallowed more
than you could chew

the hurt in you has hardened
your child’s lost in an empty garden
of promises never kept
of dreams swept up along with the dirt
of hurt so bad your mouth was stitched
to prevent you from speaking out

you never talked
and if you did
they’d slap you so hard
the blood would come out
of your nose

you learned fast
how to hold back

like a banana cream pie
in the face. But it wasn’t sweet! It stung
as Mace. And I was blind from the chase.

He hit me
like a hickory stick
falling from the sky like
a ton of bricks. I wore the welts
shiny as the buckle in his belt.

He hit me
like a Mack truck. I didn’t
duck. So, I wear the tracks. Now I’m flat
upon my back.

at my home. Flung out of his rancid
tongue. One by one they stuck together
just like tar to feather. So, I build a wall  
with his pejoratives that grew like

fast-acting viruses. Up to my neck,
he still flung them. Couldn’t let him
deck me. Like a woodpecker pecking me,
till I'm covered in holes. But now

my house is behind a wall of stone,
tall as me. Blocks all out, doesn't let me
see. Is it he still standing
behind the stones? Or at the locker

of Davy Jones? All is quiet now 'cept the hoot
of the old screech owl, the honking overhead
from flying fowl. And the ripple from the lake
is just the swimming of a drake.

Don't sit on the sidelines.
Get in the game!
Don't let life pass you by
because you are afraid of it.
Get in there and try; don't stay away from it!
And who knows, you might be an all-star
in the making.
But you'll never know if you don't give it a chance.
Your life is not a practice session.
It's the real thing!
Each time that you're up at bat don't be afraid
to take a swing and hit it hard with all your might.
You only got one chance in this life.

is a desert
an arid wasteland
of tumbleweeds
rolling in the ***** breeze

My loneliness
is an abyss
a bottomless chasm
of pain and sarcasm

My loneliness
is a venomous snake
that lays in the grass
and waits

My loneliness
is hell
a fiery pit
of beggars and spit

My loneliness
is a friend
that smiles at me
and upends

your little girl is looking
at you with hollow eyes, carved out
from your lies. In the cavity, the voices
in his head nestled as lead. Daughter,

mother doesn't like you to bother her! Go to
your room little girl.  Can't you see he's out
of this world? Children are dolls. You dress up
and play with between the scratches and

welts. Not a breathing female,
as yourself.  Rolled up in a ball she's a hedgehog,
sticking out her quills as teeth. Biting on
the swears and screams. All the soft underbelly,

stuck as a jar of jelly. Living in daddy's
world of maelstrom it's hard to
live strong. So, she curls up onto
herself, sticking it to the soft hand

that playfully moves near her. Touching
you with the pins, poking out her mouth.. Full of
jabbing ******, and shouts, leaving you bleeding. But
then, this is her greeting. Don't let them underneath -

as you did daddy. He's in the padded room,
cushioned with the nurse's perfume.

to tapering off
I won’t shatter
I won’t fall
I’ll just float away is all.
I won’t break
like others do
I’ll just flake off
into layers –

as chips of paint
that still hold on
but at the same time
come undone
like a splinter of wood
that sticks out
from the frame
so, it’s noticeable
but not part and parcel

you were just an idea -
a thing I planned
to do down the road before I
grew too old.

I loved you when
we were trying. And every month
crying when all the tests came back
negative. And my stomach lay flat
as a door mat.

I loved you when
you were only a seed
floating in midstream. And I
couldn’t wait for the due date. As
I saw two pink lines I screamed
no more drinking wine!

I loved you when
you played kickball
in my stomach. And as I grew
so fat I couldn’t see my feet
or tie my shoes. And then the doctor
said paint the room blue!

I loved you when
you pushed that big head
out into this world! And as I saw
those red chubby cheeks, so breathless
I couldn’t speak.

I loved you when
you were up all night. And couldn’t
sleep without the lights on. And in the early
morn, I looked like a creature from
Dawn of the Dead.

I loved you when
you wobbled like a weeble
and drooled like a rabid fox. And
pulled off both socks only to
stuff them in that tiny mouth. And I
pulled them out.

I loved you when
you called me mama. And my
tired legs couldn’t chase you
as you ran sprinting
like a cheetah/turning faster than
an ameba.

I loved you when
you shot past my shoulders. And as
you grew older I loved you even
more. And I’d miss you and worry
when you were at school or out with friends
and as you lay sick in bed
with a high temperature. And that
hasn't stopped/the love and worrying.
It's part of this thing called mothering.

cause I do
my own thing. I don’t
listen to other
people. They’re not
happy. Sure, they pretend
that they are. But if
they were, they wouldn’t
try to convince
everyone. They protest
too loudly and convince
fatuously, so daftly
I must ask myself,
really?? Now being a rebel
hasn’t made me happy. It’s
made me lonely. But unlike
others I own my loneliness
and whatever else I get. And
because of this I feel a bit
superior, maybe even genius!

a fish or a
kumquat. I am sick
of picking out cars, bridges
motorcycles and

buses. I won’t discuss
this. I am a woman trying to
share her passion. And I’ll post
it like a sticky note on

everything. When has art gone
out of fashion? I create something
new every day, through my words
and videos, through my paint

and the way I pose. And I’m
sick of waiting in a twilight-zone
swirl, checking off boxes
and being asked if I’m a girl!

do a lot
but receive little

Some
do little
but receive a lot

Some girls
live in castles

Some
live in castles
in the clouds

Some girls
are shy

Some
are proud

Some girls
are smiling
out loud

Some
are smiling
behind clenched teeth

Those girls –
you wouldn’t like to meet

Everything
the lies and guise
went straight to my head
you took it back
Every lovely thing you said
Every lovely piece I read
Every lovely day that fled
Every walk in the park
Every talk in the dark
Every embrace
Every blush of my face
said it didn't count
so all the years amount to not
but drunken nights that taught me
you were a mistake
I had to make

on different days. I wear
different hats. Stand in
different shoes. On some days it’s
hard to choose the hat

to wear. What character is like
the real person. I’m certain
each  has a role. At times, many
in toll. I dress them down. I dress them

up. Black, white or red. Some big
hearts, some big heads. Some from my
youth. They all shed light. Some run out on

me in their Nikes. Some sleep in my
bed while I'm awake talking about their
mistakes. Some lustful. Some shy. They’re
all flowerful, coy and spry.

living inside my shell
living in this hell
moving slowly
seeing everyone pass me

still traveling the same road
carrying this heavy load
but moving toward my dreams

no windows or doors
holes in my floors
ground scorching heat
burning the soles of my feet

the journey is long
gotta hold strong
when all you pack
is riding on your back

my clothes to the surfaces
of the tables in the laundromat. So, I
fold them outside in my crammed
car. Isn’t that bizarre!

Afraid to touch
the door handle to
walk in. A stranger
touched it. Their germs
have left an imprint.

Afraid to touch
the ten-dollar bill -
a million germs on it still. But
the machines won't work
without money.

Afraid to touch
my eye to scratch an itch. My hand
might carry the germ from
the door. Now my eye has a twitch
from an itch. And
I’m going to sneeze!

Afraid to touch
my sock that fell
on the floor. Afraid to
go out into the street. I'll
meet more people I can't
stop and talk to without
a bullhorn.

like an egg
cracked me
on the side of my head
beat me up
till I was thinly spread
threw tomatoes at me
till I was scarlet
But I became a juicy omelet

He broke me
like a shell
on the beach
I was crushed
beneath his feet
he does that to every girl
But I rolled out as a shiny pearl

He broke me
like a branch
off a tree
I splintered underneath
the fallen leaves
But a robin with redbreast
saw I’d be fitting
for her nest
So, I returned to
where I came –
But not the same

in white, red, tan, gold
and black. He wears them dusk
till dawn. As he takes one off he
puts another on. Some are

wool. Some are cotton. Some linen,
some leather. Some with earflaps for
cold weather. Some have bands and
some feathers. For every day

its polyester. He's a cowboy,
and a soldier. He's a sailor and
a jester. He’s a baseball player
and cop. He wears a cap with his high-

top. A Fedora, Tam-O’-Shanter, Porkpie
or a Boonie.The grey felt makes him look
like George Clooney. In the evening, a
Night Cap. He changes hats in a snap.

He Left a mark
on fervent breast.
Was just a spark
he combed and pressed.

It lit a path
into the wood.
A row of lath
no backing stood.

A rose
with no trellis.
To pose
with no pelisse.

Footprints ebb
In April snow.
A spider’s web
to snare her woe.

You and I
are enclosed
in a glass bubble.
It’s bullet-proof.

Nothing can enter it.
It’s impenetrable to harm.
Even when harm attempts
to enter it’s as the wind outside.

We hear it.
We see it blow everything around.
We see it knock down anything
that’s not fixed.

Yet it can never enter -  
This
The only thing that can break it is
our fist

stretch marks and baggy skin
than a washboard stomach
I created life -
I radiate within

I'd rather
wrinkles than Botox injections
I lived a full life
with home and family
I'm not looking for perfection

I'd rather
spend the day flying a kite
than mopping the floors
polishing the furniture
till everything's bright

I'd rather
listen to the robins and wrens rejoice
the squirrels scurrying over an acorn
than standing, staring in the mirror
hearing my voice
again, and again complaining

licking off his marrow
cheeping
and chattering
sweeping wings
above his window
building a nest
soft as a pillow
underneath the eaves
filling it with feathers, twigs
and fallen dead leaves
squabbling over crumbs
and seeds
with little round heads
and stout beaks
buff tan and brown
with layered black streaks
holding the world
inside of her cheeks