my crocuses are frozen
my hyacinths are wilted
my snow drops are still hiding
and my tulips all are stilted

my lawn is buried deeply
my door bell doesn't ring
all of these together are
signs of Canadian spring

lawn all ripped to ratshit
flyers frozen to the fence
*** holes every fifty feet
student residences to rent

icicles on my eavestrough
and the damage that they bring
all of these together are
signs of a Canadian spring.

I learnt to tie my shoes
I learnt to ride my bike
I learnt to smoke
I learnt the vulnerability of fully exposing an idea
I learnt to tie my shoes
I learnt to adapt my behavior in the light of others' actions.
I learnt the difficulty of sustaining the hopes of youth.

I remember a French girl with an English name.
'Leave me now, return tonight,' she told me every morning, and I did.

I remember an English girl with an French name.
We were the circle that no one could break, or so I thought.


Yesterday I was there.
Today I am here.
The two are light years apart.

I dance with a friend,
holding her hand realize,
how disconnected I have become,
from the simple beauty of touch.


I return and sense,
that things are not the same as before,
but feel had I stayed,
everything would likely seem the same.


Your words touch me.
Your thoughts excite me.
I want to try all that.
Explore everything with you.



Alone.
All one.


If and but and maybe and whatever.
I hate those words.


Everything doesn't have to be perfect.
To idealize is also a form of suffering.

                          
                                             ------ by Julian Hibbard



st...26 march 2014

What if I told you
Your soul can break

What if I told you
No one could save you

What if I told you
You're not in reality

What if I told you
I've stolen all your dreams

What if I told you
I heard your saddened whispers

What if I told you
I know you're just like me

And what if I said
We both dwell in the darkness

I used to be obsessed with the idea
that the stars we saw at night were
mostly already dead
Like everything was as lost
and as inevitably hopeless
as I felt I was
But this turned out to be another legend
Most of them are still there
and won't explode
for some time
and maybe I was disappointed
that the universe
wasn't as dark
as it appears to me.
What I like most about you
is that you
can turn things like that around
when you explain
how we're made up of materials
from some primordial
atomic cataclysm
that sent particles
in a billion different directions
until they reformed
and made
the sun
and the stars
and the planets
and that the entire spectrum
of our existence
was brought forth
from these events
and
I should consider myself lucky
that the universe
went to all that trouble
to make you for me.