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I Am Lost.
I hurt all over again.
Because I cannot forgive.
I try, but I still resent those who stubbed me straight through the heart.
My Family.
My ex Lovers.
My Community.
I want to let it all go.

This is a prayer of my hurting, breaking and bleeding heart.
Help me.
Help me LET GO
Of all that cause my tears to soak my pillow most days.
Help me.
Teach Me.
To forgive.
To let go.
To Heal.

I need You.
I can't do asylums no MORE.
I Don't want to cut anymore.
Help Me Jesus.
I know you are out, up there somewhere.
Help  me.
Please.

©The Unspoken
This is a prayer, a cry from deep within me.
 Apr 2014 Samantha wells
r
Umbra
 Apr 2014 Samantha wells
r
Another letter today
Just one more step along my way
Check that box and forget about
Whatever tomorrow brings
Even if it's only for a little while
Close my eyes and try to smile
Close my eyes
To the light.

4/3/14
 Apr 2014 Samantha wells
PrttyBrd
Paint my screen with love.
By virtual osmosis, perhaps I shall smile
4314
one stroke senryu
the best metaphor ever:
"All the world's a stage,
And all the men and women merely players;
They have their exits and their entrances;
"

—William Shakespeare, As You Like It, 2/7[1]
-~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
for Ernest L. Gonzales,
an overdue uncommissioned tribute


~
mined the meta data,
mined the meta world,
for the meta~for,
the truth serum ether
that gives me a breather,
turns out Willie's
meta-rumination
spot on, the boy's dotty
meta~ruination

no longer my eyes see
your eye test chart lettered reality,
tears of alpha~poetry all I got,
cloudy visionary
with wordy meatballs reigning,
charting a schooner's course,
on a Texas-sized ocean of poetic reality

police took away my licenses.

illegal for me have both,
they, city~proclamation proclaimed,
driving and poetry~striving simultaneously,
dangerous for life and limb,
claiming I drove like
I was in a poetry slam video game,
had to explain I was trapped
in the world of poetic-reality

where the alpha~words
afloating in the atmosphere,
imagery balloons preventing
crystalline vision,
so one or the other,
this world of mine,
the world of poetic reality,
is my baggage carried
and a foot in both
worlds  be word dangerous for global health

ticketed for doing 85+
in the left poetry fast lane,
judge disallowed my only excuse,
mentally composing multiple haikus,
and needed my fingers and toes to do
syllable counting

now you know why
I write poetry on the bus

no, the kid kids you not,
the only arrest on record for
poetry-composing intoxication
under the influence,
while operating an
auto~mobile ma~chine

Went to the bodega
for some late night vanilla swirl,
the immigrant behind the counter,
at 2:00 am, gave me my change
in tales from Bangladesh

late for work,
took me a fat taxi,
the driver, a city life comber~climber,
asked credit or cash,
and I said kind sir,
you do me great credit,
if a poem in Urdu
you would recite in lieu of payment

now you know why
I write poetry on the bus

So, my dear Ernest,
life is our poetic reality,
you are the best ever metaphor,
the one poets keep stealing from
each other,
at the intersection
of our eyes crossing

in fact,
ole Willie stole the world's most famous
metaphor's inspiration above,
when me and he,
once pub crawling,
we disagreed if a certain door
was the pub entrance or the exit,
and the next day
in a burst of
Poetic Reality,
he composed-stoked stole them words,
in a hangover haze

*so the poet point be this:
we may live in and of this world gritty,
but the only show
we ever know'd
was turning life
into the poetic one
Read the poetry of
http://hellopoetry.com/Ernesto/

A man who turned life's grit
into the best poems ever.
 Apr 2014 Samantha wells
Xyns
Do you know how it feels
To wake up worried if you'll make it home ok?


Do you know what it's like
To cry yourself to sleep every single night?


Do you know how it feels
To wonder if you're mother is going to abandon you today?


Do you know what it's like
To stress over whether your younger siblings will eat or not?


Do you know how it feels
To go to sleep hoping everything will stay calm?


Do you know what it's like
To call your dad and have him ignore the phone?


Do you know how it feels
To lose your own parents to crystal?


Do you know what it's like
To throw away your own father's needle?


Do you know how it feels
To barely make it through the day?


Do you know what it's like
To come from a shattered home?


Do you know how it feels
To blame everything on yourself?


Do you know what it's like
To be a child like me?
 Apr 2014 Samantha wells
Xyns
I cry, beg you please
Scream
Scratch desperately


Why?
Why not me?


****** words
Empty minds
Broken hearts
Lost in time


Open the doors
Let in the contraband
Crimson stained skin
Take me, I'm yours


Guess it's only right
To give in to the fight


You'll eventually leave
It's only for tonight
and she had
eyes like ghosts
invisible and
haunting with 
their past lives
and last loves

pale white
wrists with
bones and
veins protruding 
like the
lined drips of
a cemetery candle

her heartbeat
was an 
eerie melody 
filling my 
nightmares

yet I feared 
the day that
this symphony
would stop

that your 
skeleton whispers
would no longer
graze my
shivering cold
heart

and that 
the frightening
things you do
would halt
and be replaced
by an even
eerier silence

right now
I fear you
but when I
think of
losing you
and never
seeing you
again
I wonder

what am I
so scared of?
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