I'm kind of like neon darkness.

Black is the new
everything
&
everyone,
shares the same

lucid,
translucent,
illuminate

dead-day-dreams.

Sorry, for
spiking the punch.
But it isn't a party
until someone passes out.

Find the weakest link.
**** em' up
&
leave them behind
to die.

Dried up
on the side of the
road.

A hit & run
on the highway home.

Sometimes, you have to
strip

down,
down,
down.

to the
lowest
of
places
just to break yourself even.
</3

**** gets better.
<3

Let's have a
photo shoot!

Its "time" to take
some snap shots
of your
soul.

You've been given;

10 years
&
10 frames.

To capture
that
sandy second,
minute.

Before it slides down,
to the very
bottom of
the hour glass.


Click-click-click
&
I'm Counting

3

2

1

smile.

The world is your
photographer.
&
The people
around you will
play
pretend
paparazzi!

More often than
you've been told to believe.

More often than
they say.

Fate only allows the most
Humble of hearts,
Driven of dreamers,
& the purest of souls.
To rise to the occasion
and take the thrown.
Three cheers
three cheers
the
Evil
King
is
DEAD.

Thinkers
think & ***** up.
Doers
do & sometimes make it work.
Just turn off your brain and
let your heart
do the thinking.
It's most likely in
the right house anyways.

Soul Spit
Soul Script.
If worse comes to worse
at-least I have the ***** to find out.

Well, I don't need no injections.
I take my meds on time.
I don't need no injections.
I haven't done no crime.

I'm just a little moody.
And that's okay with me.
I don't need no injections.
******* and let me be.

I've got the Celiac.
It's making me a maniac.
I'm in a ******* mood.
Don't mess with my food.

You'll probably get assaulted

I gazed into the abyss.
Only to see a demon,
staring back at me.

The ghost.
Of someone I was never meant to be.
In the first place.

Aren't we all just knocking
on open doors
I'm not home right now.
Try again later.

Trust is like a personality.
Broken, evenly.
You say, I trust everyone
but you.

I'm kind of split in judgement anyways.
But I can't keep up with who you're trying to be today.

Stitchin' up a
Snitch's ******.
So he don't
steal or
snitch out someone
that had nothing to do with
his something
or another.

Guess, I'll quit acting so ****
bipolar.
When,
you quit acting like
a lazy,
Lil' Liar.

You blew it.
&
Messed everything up for me.

So
I'll just hit you back
&
**** your **** up.

So you don't have to
do it.
Yourself.
</3

if you we're really dead,
you would have seen the burning caterpillars,
become butterflies.
you're only living if you're seeing suffering.
death is merely a promise that everything works out in the end.

i was shooting for angels,
but i wound up hitting saints.

Please excuse me,
as I take a chance
to try and con the ones who have conecended us.
As I slide down
my verbal pole of innocence.
Slithering, crawling, hungry and horney.
Strutting around the club,
looking for fame,
so I can give him a lap dance
and go down on HIStory.

You told me to pick a card
& I chose the Star.
One day, Some day,
I will outshine all of your darkness.

I met fate at a *******.
We're all diamonds, just some of us are in the rough.


IT GET'S BETTER.

Hate flows,
free through her blood.
Infecting every *****.

First,
with her heart,
then her brain.

A deranged, heartless *****,
with all the power.

Succubi.
Queen of Bloodshed.
Harlot of Satan.

Swing dancing murderers
& ball-room assassins.
Seek her out, on
the dance floor.
To, get a chance to Swing Dance with Lucy, herself.

Good men will fall down to evil.
Slowly dancing and stabbing  
pretty, young girls.
Under the noses of their wives.

To save their,
lost souls
from the belly of the beast.

Covered in their blood, sweat & glitter,
the Party Princesses are slain
by the Princes of Poverty.
Cause they weren't getting pity ******.

Welcome,
to the
Fabulous Lifestyle
of the
Wonderful,
Magical,
Spit-Catching
Idiot-Magnets.

The World
is just a bed
full of.
Roaches,
Leaches
and everything else parasitic.

That only want
to drag you down
&
****-****-****.
What little
life is left,
with-in,
you're half-way
dead.

Still-breathing corpse.

Good luck!
To you,
Kind Soul.

I hope the World ends,
before it can take-break- away
your sugar-sweetness.

Lemon-drops
Always taste bitter
even if their rims are coated with sugga.

Sugar is better
off alone
sometimes.

End of Poem.

I
don't want to
exist.
In
a
love-less
lust-lost
home either.

Let's run-run-run
run-away
to better
days.

Run away
from everything,
from everyone
to everywhere
and anywhere.

We deserve to look outside
the windows of a home,
not
a
half-orphan-orphanage.

The sun is shining somewhere.
Let's
go
sulking in the sunlight.
<3

Staring out at all that lies before me.
Trapped within a prison.
I look, to see your life blossoming like a beautiful rose.
I'd be living too.
If I wasn't freezing to death.

As the long forgotten Sun kisses my skin, with his warmth.
I can feel my heart shed a few tears.
In light, of the feelings I once had for you.

Quicksand
and those sketchy  
day dreams.
Are
dragging me
down river.

To Go.

Drunk dancing
at the
Devil's beat.

</3
As I lay,
here.

Drowning,
in all your liquid lies.
With my right hand
above water.

Of course.

Every fallen angel,
sides down the slippery
stripped-strip,
strippers pole.

Onto,
darker day dreams
of swimming,
singing
&
swing-dancing
with Lucy.

Tap-tap-tap
dancing
with the
Fairy Master
Lucipher,
himself.

Sometimes people are just misunderstood.

T.C.F-ucked
me over
to the other
red side of the bed.

But
only for you.
My sweet
broke-back,
***-backwards,
cold-heart-ed
crooks.

Next time,
there will be
no
bail-outs.

I know what I am
going to do.
So,
save the judgment
for forces
that are higher up
in the food chain
than yourself...
Humans are really at the
Bottom of the gutter,
Well are minds are at least ;).
Its Spring.
Time,
for all the flake
away
Snowflake friends
to melt away .
Cause ****’s about to get really hot.
& This **** is about to get better.  
Under Dogs For The Win.

Talking to one of my best friends, Brittany, helped create this.



I gave you my
love
&
you gave me your lust.
&
it broke me down.
You left me
stranded,
defeated
&
alone
on the side of the
love
lane.
To watch my dreams
fade away with your tail-lights.
in
a
Western sunset.
&
From then on,
it's been nothing but darkness.

Yeah,
I'll keep walking this tight rope.
But if I lose my balance and fall at the very hieght
of all my built up fears,
I pray someone will catch me.
Here's to free falling into the arms of love.

My standards exceed this world, I want to meet angels.

I never thought the winds of time would blow you away and leave me here
six blocks away
from where this endeavor all began.
I am the left overs of a life ended early.
My reflection is a ghost splashed with some life.
Awkward.

Love is free,
love is blind,
love will eat you up
and spit you out.
As soon as the next best thing comes a long.
Hell yeah, lets drink to that.

Call the Doctor,
Text a Nurse.
I think I'm getting sick.
I've been avoided like the plague.
Cause I spread like disease.
I think.
I think that
I'm going viral.

Devil's downstairs
at the neighbors
lil'
hole in the wall.

We're just sitting
ducks
in a government funded
housing pond.

& I'm too afraid
to sleep.
In my own slum.

Thank you, for ruining my life.

Sit-slit-slip-away
into
the sunset.

Frozen in the feeling
of "time" ending,
in it's own way.

But yours,
is just another
crack in the mirror.

Alas, 7 more years.
Then you'll be.

Freedom forever.
&
Youth eternal.

Welcome, 2 the cult.

& we'll
just live,
the Adam's Family
dream-life.

In our
big-black-brick-death-mansion.
<3
Humbled & hardened
by times & all of her troubles.

Spiked with agony.
Splashed with misery.
But I'll love every minute,
of my
dark/******/serene,
day-dream.

You'll be,
Morticia.
&
I'll play Gomez.

No pun intended.
But after-all
aren't we just the replications
of sorrow from a beautiful sight?

Well......

Here's to the
blackest roses
with
the sharpest thorns.

That're long-lost
& lonely
in the dark part of the forest.

Now,
drink the punch
&
die.

Life is a movie and men are really actors.
Some get the lead role, while others are just extras.
It's a hierarchy,
you got the over zealous ****** on top and ******* below.
If you can sell your soul, you'll make headlines.
Get paid.
Buy a steak or something.
Care only about yourself and **** everybody else over, in whatever position you'd like ;)
.Fight ***** or don't fight at all.
Sucker punch the Devil for trickin' you and book it.
Run, run fast, like the cops  are after you.
****'s about to go down.
It's Irony, in his emmy winning role!
Shameful that "The laws" are just dyslexic interpretations of petty rules anyways.
Use logic, not obedience

My phone's got no service
in this christian meets crazy.
Westboro baptist church.
When the negative sermon
is over.

I bet, I will
have
6 missed calls.
6 new voice mails.
&
6 texts
all from the
Lovely Lucy.
Looks like hell is
trying to get at me.
Someone wants my soul.
Maybe,
I'm going to be famous or somethin'.
Rapture Raptors.
I will be fed to the
feeding flames of infamy.

The anti-christ super-star auditions are at 3 a.m.
It's, 2 hours away!
I'm 7 years away.
Hope I make it to exit 27.
If not exit 40 works fine too.

We are the hive mind.
A collective of self depravity.
Wrapped up in Pandora's box.

Like ants climbing into their hill
Descending deeper and deeper into the hell they've created.

Are we any different?

High-on
up
in this moment.
Until tomorrow,
knocks me
out of the sky.
The
bad news bears
have woken up  
and now they're
here to stay.
Sometimes,
I wish it
was
still
January.
So the weather
could replicate
the season of my
ice cold heart.

From Discoveries; my high school journal.
Entries from February of 2009.

February 12th: Even in good company I still feel alone.

February 13th:
I can't paint & I can't  draw either.
But with my words,
I can paint a paper-back
that will give
even
Andy Warhol, a run for his $.

Three Months ago:
I took a look
in the honesty window's
reflection
and I began to loathe what I saw.
& I began to mend my mold
to make this work.
WIthout resorting to stripping or suicide,

That's when Bandit came out to play.

"Everything I say is said in blue ink and heard on lined paper. Chemical and herbal experimentation have changed me. Oh high, I'm Bandit. & It is nice to meet you."

My best friend in the poetry world is The Bloodshed Saint, she's really good. So I am trying to make her get one of these. I wrote this to her like 4 years ago, it's weird how you can know people so well but you've never met before.

As I promised
the sun
will always
shine on you
even in your
darkest hour.
For the sun and
you are now one
deity of purity
and peace.
The truth your
about
to reveal,
will blind the world.
Protecting us from the problems man has created.
Once again people will prosper
under your careful watch.

Wish,
you loved
me like,
I thought you did.

Should've
blown my brains out.

When all these
crazy thoughts
started singing
in my mind.

If I was in the right place.
I would have,
but I didn't.

Now.I.Suffer.

Thanks, for the stab in the back.
See you in the great below.

</3

Cause you're way
2
cute,
2
cry
over a

    Big-***.
    Stupid-***.
    Lazy-***
    Broke-***

air-head.

That somehow
caught you in a web.
& made you
uhhh-****-ted.

Get it?
Get it?
Got it!
Good.

Be like the
Brookie Monster
and know
U R A
rare ruby.

That should be
hidden,
at the bottom
of the
cookie jar.
SO no one can steal your beauty.
For their own *****-gain.

Sleeping alone *****.
But nothings worse
than waking up next
to
a
skanky/******
Lust-****.

The incredible guilt,
I have for telling you
Deathscsweet seal
Is the hardest cross,
I've ever had to bear.
Incineratorin,
slowly in silence.
Burning like the Matches
only speak.
This course is speeding up my hour glass.
A little too fast for comfort.

When everything
is said and
done.

Gone
Faded.
Jaded.
Decayed.
Dead.  
Wish.
I was.

Just remember,
I didn't chose to
be brought into this.

You just forced me through the
crack-hole.
&
Yanked me out nine months later.

Sometimes, I hate both of you for this.

When you've been sick for so long.
That it feels more normal than anything.
A high functioning, hot mess.
As my mind runs in circles, on repeat.
Like a cursed pendulum.
Tomorrow's dissapointments are none of today's business.

Cheer up
peanut,
butter cup.
Candy is
supposed to be
sweet.
Not bitter.
Unless you're
trying
to be
the dark side of the chocolate bar.
But no matter,
what ever
your taste is.
I'll
always come
back for
more.
Looks like
lust has me
ummm
uhhh
uhh-****-ted.
Until the
Dentist tells
me otherwise.

All the
money a blank check
is worth for,
could never compare to
the true value,
of an
individual.
There's always
something
special
for everyone.
Cause everyone
is
something
special.
The world just
doesn't
want you
to know,
that you matter.
Cause they're afraid you're
going to
change
a
cycle,
that's been orbiting'
the earth,
since before we were here.


A circle-cycle, in it's simplicity is a double negative.
Like the Devil getting cozy
on a Demon's shoulder.
Double whammy.
Stop.
**** this.

I'm just cashed.
Today.
Tomorrow,
will
be
BETTER.

February 2nd: Dire was my day, every move I made was seen as a mistake.Malice my good intentions, I’ve been labeled as a hurtful, evil, and ugly man. Believed to be a demon, from the pits of hell; I am feared by all and eluded like a disease.
        
February 3rd: My time is spent in isolation. Never desiccated are the tears that endlessly flow down my wrecked up face. My screaming is unheard. Nothing is heard in this room, I am alone.
        
February 4th: Blood encrusts my massacred body, a true painting of affliction. I have run out of tears. Crying is now a more complex process, involving the bitter sweet touch of a blade.
        
February 5th: Exile is slowly beginning to **** me. The hands of time have firmly grabbed my neck and with each passing hour its grip grows stronger.

You say
you have a royal flush.
&
I'm ice-screaming
bluff.
Uhh bull-****.

You may
be the Drag/Queen
of Spades.

But I'm carrying the
ace of clubs.
In my pants pocket.

rofllololol

You're just a joker.

Joke's on you.
I'm the king of <3's.

<3 <3 <3 <3
Guess who owns yours?

Why waste my breathe.
When you can't listen to anybody else but yourself.

I'm not sorry for your lack of patience.
But I am sorry, you lost me.

Because when the roofs on fire
and my life is falling apart.
It's okay to be the fool.
Because he's walking off a cliff with a smile on his face.

So who's really living their best here?

**** this,
**** that,
*******
and every ******* lie.

That slid through your
crooked/cracked teeth.

My fists,
consumed with an
angry adrenaline.

Knock out em' out.
You're going to need
an oral surgeon.
Next line you drop.
And Pow.

Talk ****,
get hit.
No, get electrocuted.

The sand, within
our hour glass
marriage
Has run out.
Our life together is over.

What's up?
Divorce court!
A.K.A
just sitting here fighting with my
X,
like two wolves
over a dead deer’s heart.

Now,
the entire world can see
just how shallow our mental shores
really are.

Yeah.

Keep telling
the audience, the cameras,
and the rest of the
******* world.
That I ******* this
up.
For us.

Truth is:
I was the ***** & you were the screwdriver.
So, who *******, what up?

You really,
just need to
shut the **** up.
Cause you know you're never
going
to
Nut Up.
& The saying is nut up or shut up.

right, fight, light, bright.
I'm shining on with out you.

Now,
before you go
& leave me again.
To see places
that are six feet under
with people who are
much,
much
meaner
than I ever was.

I’d like to thank you for taking
My heart
All the way
Down,
down,
down
to hell with you.
On the greener side,
my heart will never be on my sleeve
Again.

Have fun, with all the other liars & cheaters down there.
I'll see you there,
when I decide to play dead.
Give me another 60 years,
unlike you.
I'm not a quitter.
</3

I'm sick and tired of playing
Your
boring,
backwards ,
board games.  
Life and Death.
I'm alive,
You’re just playing dead again.
So since,
you don’t
want to play anymore.
Can you just give me back my
clothes and get the **** out of my life?

If only you could love me.
The way,
I would love you.
I wouldn't be sitting here
surrounded by flower petals and false hope.
Alone in my thoughts, I've found the garden to be the loneliest of places.

When people say stupid ****.
"I'm uncomfortable with people standing beside me, behind my back"
- It's not like we care about your business, we've got our own **** to watch.
You're just paranoid cause
you're either
a good person
or your
guilty.
So which are you?

Confused.
Delusional.
You aren't looking through
real eyes if you think
you own something
that is in it's core breathing.
Space is something
that exceeds
realms of
heaven,
earth,
&
hell.
So you can't own space,
cause it's shared in
everything.
& even if you could buy space,
I think the only entity,
you could buy
from would
have to be
a lie dealer,
with fangs & horns.
Hell is the only place you
can buy space in.
***** money runs ***** places.
Kind of like a *******.


On a personal note.
Gold Coast, I almost worked there and I would have made 600 a night.
I'm glad I walked out of work with $25 in tips last Friday and kept my clothes on.

Another line off
a ****** broken
toilet-seat.

&
The guy with
smiley face eyes
is done-gone
getting himself,
into another
fist-fight.

With all the other
crack-cats.
For the biggest bag-o-rocks,
from the litter box.

Living the White-Trash dream.
Is just a day-dream
throw-away...

"bang.bang".

& The guy with the
:) eyes
took his pistol,
to his head
& Bam.

It's a brain-blow-out!  

Or a
beautiful- bouquet
of blood-black & red roses.

It is for sure,
An Ode To.......
  
Blowing up Billionaires
By the Billion.


& SO the guy with the :) eyes
Blew out the first
half of his head.

While the last half.
Well, it just bled black.

I'm caught in a web.
Cause I'm so fly and you're just a spider with a lying problem.
So Imma run like a bullet does from a gun.
Fast and free until I hit the walls,
I've been building.
I'm like water with lemon on the road to bitterness.
My minds going 120 and I'm too short to reach the brakes.
Sometimes when I'm alone,
I can hear my heart slowly breaking
because my soul is trying to walk out on my body.
Like a ghost, I keep fading in and out of life.